Killer performance anxiety
I've played both sides for quite some time. I have drifted more and more towards playing survivor because of the fact that the less I play killer, the less I enjoy it. I've tried to analyze the situation and come to some kind of conclusion. The conclusion is basically the following:
- To avoid being antagonized post game, I stick to a playstyle that is 'fair'. This playstyle is essentially to not camp or tunnel. Problem is, playing 'fair' is not always effective. My objective is to kill survivors and stop them from completing their objective. If I have no snowball I have to generate it. This is no different from survivors prioritizing a gen over a health state and so on. When utilizing 'dirty' tactics to turn a bad situation over, many survivors chastise you for doing so. Even if you win the game, the survivors can deny you the sense of accomplishment by calling you out. This is especially apparent when several players chime in.
- I feel constantly evaluated. My playstyle as survivor is never commented on unless it is in a positive manner. As killer, however, it is totally normal for other players to comment on your decisions, blunders, playstyle etc. Heck, I do it myself sometimes when playing survivor. This creates a lot of performance anxiety as I cannot let my guard down. I rarely play new killers or tactics any more because I cannot cope with the stress.
- Not winning leaves me with a sense of shame. I have no idea why, but I feel much worse when losing in the role of killer as opposed to the role of survivor. This may have something to do with the co-op part of the game where you can carry your team to victory but still lose as an individual.
Does anyone else recognize this?
Comments
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No, sorry.
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All of those red rank killers didn't start there. Lots of matches were lost on the way there. In fact for me, matches run together so I evaluate my day as a whole instead of a per match basis.
Try to roleplay if you need to. What would motivate your character, what would they do? That helped me.
(Also keep in mind a lot of survivors play to die and get upset if you don't take your games seriously.)
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I feel you.
I just don’t give survivors the satisfaction of bullying and being abusive anymore.
If they’re out to make the game miserable, I just wait by a gate and avoid the anxiety that comes with persisting in a hopeless match.
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Just turn off your chat. Although, if you do it to other killers then nut up and learn to take what you dish out.
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This guy knows what's up. One of the things that helped me starting up was really getting into the killer mindset. I started with myers, so did my best to be a jumpscare sometimes, a creepy far off watcher at others, and an unrelenting chaser. It helped me a lot to have more fun than stress.
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100% I recognise this, I found this really interesting reddit post on the psychological effect of DB which you might find interesting. Link here
To be totally honest I haven't even seen that many overly toxic players recently, but against good survivors I still find this game super stressful, even when not expecting to win.
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My link failed to post for some reason
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The most effective way to overcome this is having a diferent mindset. I try to go into a match thinking "Let's have fun" or "Let's learn this killer I'm not that good at" instead of "Let's win". I've found that this way I have a more clear mind and I do not care as much about other things.
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Please don't let other people choose how you play. You don't need to follow any rules, you don't need to play nice. You wouldn't lose as much if you didn't let others dictate how you play.
I watch DBD streamers such as Otzdarva all the time & in a lot of matches they usually have to get somebody out of the game before the game is lost.
With this being said, I wouldn't recommend being a toxic BM'ing camper, but if it's how you want to play then nobody should have a say in that other than you, as long as you aren't breaking any actual rules.
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Not that it matters really, but for the sake of clarity: I have 2k hours in the game and rank 1 in both roles. A red rank potato, but still :)
I really like your idea of roleplaying. Will try this at some point!
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It feels better knowing I’m not alone. Thanks for that
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The way around this is to realize "you are not responsible for anyone else's fun".
Now let me qualify that statement, it is not to say you have free license to grief or harass or bully others.
The very thematic element of this game is 4 people try to escape a vicious killer who is out to murder/devour/sacrifice them to some dark entity. So taking on the vicious killer role will you choose to do these heinous things politely or efficiently?
So I play thematically, what would a vicious killer like LF or Myers do in this situation, chase the bleeding guy or let him go and heal up and chase the other guy ensuring everyone gets a fair go. Remember if you go the fair route it is likely you will still cop abuse, so as killer you still weather the cost of a less proficient playstyle and the post game abuse. Not a great deal.
Just make the choices you think are best at the time and forget about whether that choice will be frowned upon by some arbitrary opinion of how the game should be played or what's fair.
When you have the experience to wreck even the most dedicated swf brute squad then you have the luxury to pick and choose how polite you want to be. Till then make the play you think is best, or enjoy most, not the play some random other person thinks you should play.
Win, lose or draw if you played it your way then you'll be satisfied. No amount of sore loser/bad winner tantrum salt can take that from you and nor should it.
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I should, yeah.
I tend to not do it, but I would lie if I said I never had. I’ve been tunneled off the hook and spoken my mind more than once.
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Cool, will try this. Thanks!
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Sounds like a very interesting read: thank you for this!
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That’s the thing: I know all of this but still find myself feeling sad when being chastised. I win far more than I lose and consistently sit at red ranks. I still feel stressed and bad in a way that I never experience as survivor.
Love Otz btw. Such a wholesome dude <3
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I have about 3500 hours in-game, It has stopped bothering me long ago.
The day they raged in post-game chat and cried that I was a bad Trapper, was in reality Thursday game number 5.
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Thanks for your well spoken post and your solid advice. Taken to heart ❤️
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For me personally, I don't really feel bad about the way I have to play sometimes, but instead I'll have a bit of anxiety before I start a match because I'm usually worried that I'm going to make a fool out of myself & lose, so I feel you in a way.
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I'm no expert its just what made the game more fun for me. Good luck in the fog.
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Honestly I feel like the whole survivor rule book thing would not exist if the matchmaking was better.
You are usually only in a position to be a “nice killer” if your opponents are significantly worse than you. And to be fair, that happens a lot in this game.
But when you actually get opponents of equal skill the game is usually a frantic back and forth struggle with no room for mercy.
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It sounds like you are driven by the demons of "external validation" and thus you let your self image be defined by others. Screw that. The only thing you have to do to play "fair" is:
- Don't cheat, either by hack or lag spike.
- Don't disconnect; if you start a game, finish it.
- Be humble in victory and gracious in defeat.
Everyone loses games now and then. Some of us more than others. Do you really care what some nameless, faceless person on the internet might say about how you play a silly game like Dead by Daylight? I sure don't. I will tunnel, camp, slug, herd, and Mori if a specific match calls for it. I'm always going to give 100% to kill as many Survivors as I can, just as I assume they are doing their best to get out.
If you are concerned about what these squawking voices on the internet might say, just don't read the after game chat. Hit "Upgrade" or "Continue" immediately and move on. Me personally, I kind of enjoy it. Sometimes people say nice things and are polite. Sometimes they are polite by remaining silent, keeping their salt to themselves. And sometimes, yes, you get people who are not being humble in victory or gracious in defeat. I say embrace it. If they are salty or passive aggressive:
- Say something like, "YES! Let me taste the delicious salt of your tears!"
- Or, be crazy friendly and complimentary as if you don't hear or understand a thing they are saying.
- Or, just say something like, "yeah... so?" It doesn't really matter what they accused you of doing.
The simple truth is you will be accused of literally everything ANYWAY whether you play fair or not. Bad sports are going to be bad sports regardless. My advice is just play hard, get good enough to murder them all, and just have a chuckle when you get salt. That is what I do. I love getting salt; makes my day. The only thing that upsets me these days are when I see hacks or Survivors who DC or suicide leaving their team in a lurch.
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For me recently the anxiety is not so much salt related but more because 3 gens fly and there's still 4 people left and I got 2 hooks or something. Even though I know that 1 gen is going to pop first chase, it still annoys the heck out of me every time. So often at this point I'll just go stand by the exit gate switch ready to usher the survivors out.
I'm still not good enough at mind games quickly and need to know when to drop chase and slug I guess.
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Well don't be an usher. Never give up. Keep fighting till the bitter end no matter how few hooks you get. You don't want to get those games over quicker. Remember, those are the crucible by which you will make yourself into a better Killer. Games you lose are often more useful, from a training perspective, than the ones you win. In short, keep trying even if you manage nothing more than running them out the gate.
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You're right, even in the dying hours of a doomed game I'm likely to get a few chases in where I'll learn a few extra tricks.
And absolutely, the survivors who run rings around me and are painful to play are the very survivors I need to be playing to get better.
I also don't make it easier for myself as I'm constantly cycling Killers who have pretty different playstyles (Huntress, Legion, Oni) which is probably affecting my plays
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Agreed. Eventually, you'll get a good strategy going and get on a roll.
I haven't gotten anything less than a 3K in 2 months (minus Keys) so it is possible to learn how to outsmart those players.
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Pretty much everything you wrote I can relate to. You forgot to mention that playing as the killer is more mentally exhausting than survivor, sometimes I want to relax and do a gen and loop a killer for a minute or two whereas as a killer I constantly have to make calculations, predictions, etc...
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I play survivor mostly and I've got to say while I hate being camped or tunneled, if you have to do it then just do it. Most survivors demand killers to play a certain way "oh you can't do this or use that or use this killer cuz I don't like it" but screw them. The game isn't just about the survivors, its too easy to win as a survivor anyway so as far as people critiquing your game play at the end game, its hard but just ignore them. You shouldn't worry if they don't like what you did, after all you're a killer you aren't there to be friends especially since most survivors enter the game with the mindset of bullying killer regardless of how they play.
As for having a sense of shame when you don't win a match, tbh I feel the same way but I just suck it up, learn from my mistakes and move on. Don't let it get too you, there are way bigger things to be worried about than a DBD match :)
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Absolutely more exhausting! I did write it in my draft but took it away because I didn't want to create a thread that focused on whose the bigger victim. But I cannot play for more than a couple of games before I'm beat. Survivors generally have several periods of down time during a match. I'm lucky I play survivor to the extent that I do, so that I can practice moonwalks, casually open chests, and point at Jane's big booty while she's doing a gen.
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