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Mental health tips for new players?

Hi, I'm relatively new to the game and already I'm really struggling with mental health issues whenever I decide to pick up the game for a few matches.


I'm honestly just looking for someone who can provide some of the ways you guys have been able to cope with the toxicity in the game? (Body blocking, flashlight stunning, tea bagging, etc) A few games I can take and let me be clear I don't mind losing but the bullying and harassment is really getting to me.


I mostly play killer, namely Bubba/Lestherface/Cannibal but a few others as well. I feel like especially recently the cruelty among survivor players has spiked significantly and I don't know what to do... I do my best to be calm and not let it get to me but it's really affecting my sanity and causing me to become severely depressed and in some cases causing me to self harm (Something I haven't done since years and years ago). I honestly am just looking to improve and play with people but I can't take much more of the unnecessary cruelty...

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Comments

  • spiritsLeftball
    spiritsLeftball Member Posts: 173

    Take it easy buddy, it’s all a bunch of pixels. Whatever happens in game cannot affect you in the real world. When it happens try to find the funny side to it or even poke jokes at yourself.... that’ll help you not taking it so serious.

  • Im_Tired
    Im_Tired Member Posts: 101

    Yup, it's already been said but if a game is affecting you irl in this way, the best thing to do is avoid what's triggering those behaviors for you and play something else

    Alternatively, if you still wanna play the game, try to find a group to play private matches with

  • WeenieDog
    WeenieDog Member Posts: 2,184

    You can just play within your mental limits. Like I tend to only play 2 or 3 rounds and then I switch to another game.

  • FrenziedRoach
    FrenziedRoach Member Posts: 2,600

    I'm not a professional when it comes to Mental Health. (I'm no doctor, I just play one with a bloody overcoat and a diabolical giggle)

    However, I do know a little something about changing how you look at the events in a game because I used to take everything thrown at me in games personally.

    The first thing you need to do is accept that some people (like myself) are going to always play hard and do our best to meet our objectives and thus use every trick in the book to do so. You need to look at these tactics not for the intent, but just a challenge to overcome

    The way I deal with it is I focus on myself and my gameplay only. I look at the things that players do and do my best to NOT tie any meanings to them. Remember - this game has rituals and rift challenges that encourage people to play a certain way - tell yourself that they're just trying to get those extra bloodpoints from said challenges to through the bloodpoint grind a little easier.

    If at any time something happens that causes me to miss my goal (I get stunned by head on, body blocks make me drop somebody, or I get blinded, ect), I trained myself to say aloud "nice one" then I ponder to myself what I should do next time somebody does one of these things to me. If I lose badly, I reflect back on the game and these mental notes of what I could of done better and remind myself that my gameplay wasn't perfect, so this was a fair result.

    certain tactics in this game only have a toxic meaning to them because people arbitrarely put such labels on them. It's on us as players to separate that meaning and just look at these things for what they are - tools and nothing else.


    Post game chat? turn it off if you feel like you can't deal with. I know sometimes I don't look at it and just move on. T-Bagging? I know it's trite, but you need to learn to ignore it. Look away if you can which I will often do at exit gates to deny the satisfaction (I often look down as I chase people out gates)


    Above all else - if you ever feel yourself getting upset, put the game down and walk away. Before starting it, ask yourself if you are in the right mental state to do.

    Games are for fun - and if this game isn't providing that to you, move on - it's not like we're hurting for choice in this day and age.

  • Bigbubbaboi
    Bigbubbaboi Member Posts: 41

    Hey I’m a Bubba main too and I can be rough and usually I take 1 to 2 month breaks every once in awhile till I get reset to brown ranks where I can just meme around and have fun wile I work my way back to green/purple ranks then I take a break again

  • FogLurker
    FogLurker Member Posts: 337

    Stop playing the game and play something else. If not that, then at the very least play survivor instead and play with a friend while just doing for fun meme builds. Play for fun and don't play to win, otherwise the solo's will disappoint and let you down.

  • Amy095
    Amy095 Member Posts: 96

    Best advice? Play another game until you feel healthy and well enough to ignore survivor tactics.

    Alternatively, this is a great game. Perhaps play custom matches with some friends? At least that way you can still have fun :)

  • Mooks
    Mooks Member Posts: 14,803

    Even though it’s used as a meme/not a serious answer: play something else if it really makes you harm yourself or damage your mental health in another way.


    if you still want to play, don’t focus on the win/the seemingly bullying survivors. Set your own goal, focus on a challenge/daily/improving your game without thinking about how many hooks/kills you can get.


    keep in mind bodyblocking, flashlights and teabagging to draw attention are part of the game and they are trying to get their objective done as well, of course there are many that do this over the top and only to annoy you. But don’t let those get to you, ignore them, focus on another player, slug. You are not in the game for their entertainment, but mainly yours (but keep in mind that you shouldn’t go out of your way to make others feel miserable when they didn’t do anything wrong)


    Lightborn (from Hillbilly) makes you immune to flashlights btw, or use Franklins to get rid of items.

  • reeves7
    reeves7 Member Posts: 306

    i think its funny that this game makes alot of people rage and depressed,at the beginning i was going against veteran swfs and they were doing every toxic thing they could in this game with the goal to piss me off and it worked every time. Sometimes after some games i even wanted to meet some players irl,because they were sending me alot of hate messages even after the matches ended and its something ive never experienced with any other games. Honestly sometimes i even wished i had all those kids infront of me but they are very lucky i wasn’t infront of them or their mothers wouldnt have recognized them. If you take this game seriously you will get pissed of alot of times and it isn’t worth it,play without caring if youl 4k or 1k and dont go to the exit gates after the doors are opened but let them wait

  • Bootlegmoth
    Bootlegmoth Member Posts: 290

    It’s a game, don’t take it seriously. It’s online, ignore what people say or turn off messages. Don’t expect to win majority of the time, people are going to be better. It’s just a game. You don’t have to play it so if you don’t want to then stop

  • tippy2k2
    tippy2k2 Member Posts: 5,204

    Quit like I did because it won't get any better as you rank up. If anything, it becomes CONSIDERABLY worse as you get to the high levels.

    It sucks (especially if you've already spent money on it) but this kind of ish doesn't get any better as you keep playing unfortunately. The game is great but there are a LOT of dumpster fire survivors who go out of their way to make the game as awful as they possibly can for the killer (not just them winning but they actively go out of their way to make your game awful for you).

  • TheOwl
    TheOwl Member Posts: 185

    I agree with what many are saying. If the game is causing you mental harm, it may be better to take a break from it completely. However, if you have a strong desire to continue playing it, I would only play as many matches as you feel comfortable with a day and then move onto another game. 

    Personally, I play maybe 4-5 matches a day between survivor and killer, and I find this to be an enjoyable range for me. I also focus on getting blood points and improving my own abilities over things like kills, hooks, or surviving. My primary reason for playing is to complete daily rituals and challenges, and if I happen to win while doing that, I consider it a bonus. Additionally, when playing, I also keep the mindset that people who choose to taunt me or engage in behavior that is often considered toxic (whether survivor or killer) are not doing it to hurt me personally. They likely play that way against everyone, and their actions are completely out of my control. 

    Keeping all of these factors in mind has allowed me to really enjoy the game again after taking a long break from it.

  • JPA
    JPA Member Posts: 1,685

    Please understand that the pip system is broken so if you are playing for rank it will get frustrating.

    E.g. to get the top medal for gen defense you need to basically defend the first gen for something like 4 minutes. Against a co-ordinated skilled team this is just impossible. You will lose a gen in your first chase or two. To get the top chaser medal you will need to win lots of chases and get close to the max hooks (12), against a good team, this is usually not possible either, you'll have to slug people, some people will die on their 2nd or even 1st hook. Yet the game still requires you to do more to pip.

    My advice is just to not care about the ranking system. Eventually you will get good enough to consistently safety pip in all games, even hard ones, and then the rare games survivors allow you to get +1 or +2 you can progress in rank.

    Losing rank was one of the main things which would stress me out and add insult to injury after "losing" game with many hooks and no kills, or winning a game with 4 kills but only a few hooks.

  • GodLikeTerror
    GodLikeTerror Member Posts: 1,054

    Just improve if you really want to play this game. Honestly if you keep playing you will get better. You'll be bullying survivors once you get good enough. I mean sometimes no matter how good you are you will end up losing, and people will get annoying. I find the teabaggers and flash light clickers the worst, but honestly if you play bubba catch the person doing it, and throw them down in the basement and face camp them. It does feel really good doing that. You aren't exactly going to rank up playing that way, but it is fun. I always say how pretty darn good I am at clown. A lot of people tend to tell me that I play extremely aggressive, and there was nothing they could do all game, but sometimes even the best of the best are going to lose, and sometimes I just get absolutely dunked on. It happens, and that's apart of the game.

  • tippy2k2
    tippy2k2 Member Posts: 5,204

    ...after playing this game for a year (I started playing when I created my account here, February of 2019) and finally twoish weeks ago had enough, this is so painfully accurate that it physically makes me squirm just a little bit to see it said out loud.

    A simple VOTE UP wasn't enough, you deserve some extra kudos for that post.

  • Dabihwow
    Dabihwow Member Posts: 3,409

    Aw sorry about this man, just take breaks from time to time, watch Family guy or something that you find funny, a good laugh can help out while laying this game. But I think @GoodBoyKaru needs to send you a cow pic, to make you feel better

  • SilentPill
    SilentPill Member Posts: 1,302

    I mean it’s a video game, it’s really not that bad other than the ridiculously toxic endgame chat messages you can get.

    The main problem is to succeed as a killer you need to know everything. You need to know the maps, you need to have perk knowledge, you need to have a good build. You need game sense, and you need to play solid.

    Otherwise the purple/red rank killer experience is 4 gens done in 4 minutes.

    But once you have all; that the typical killer experience is nonstop slaughter until you hit good SWFs. It’s just I’m sure a lot of people don’t make it past the hump.

  • KlapzCheeks
    KlapzCheeks Member Posts: 171

    Go talk to a mental health counselor because obviously playing the game isnt the core of the issue.

  • CyperX
    CyperX Member Posts: 103
    edited March 2021

    Just play survivor...that's what I do bro. I love playing as killer but its these idiots with mics messing up the game. I always have messaging off so nobody can message me . Try using blood warden and noed, corrupt and bbq :) Game wasn't meant to be played with mics but Behaviour cannot find a way it seems to stop it. I hope they can figure something out

    Or I just usually put on a movie or play survivor with friend now or bro try this....just stream nototzdarva or redsgaminggears or monto or whoever on twitch just watch them player killer with the group chat ...it's fun to even watch ....it helped me alot I get the joy out if them playing as killer against these SWF teams

  • tippy2k2
    tippy2k2 Member Posts: 5,204

    I suppose that might also be the case as by the time I finally decided I was done with the game, the matches went one of two ways:

    1. An absolute curb stomping of a slaughter
    2. A SWF who (if I was lucky) just curb stomped me. Or if I was unlucky, a SWF that would actively do everything in their power to make the game as miserable as humanly possible for me

    Either way, that does not make for a fun game. Getting an actual true match where I won or lost by the skin of my teeth became rarer and rarer and rarer. Ultimately one night that was just filled with the jerk SWF squads finally made me realize that I was either bored silly or absolutely miserable for the vast majority of my games.

  • CyperX
    CyperX Member Posts: 103

    Stream redsgamingears he has a great attitude and always positive and laughing even when he loses against SWF ...please just try the lobby is positive too good chat room there

  • Ghouled_Mojo
    Ghouled_Mojo Member Posts: 2,287

    A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

  • TheClownIsKing
    TheClownIsKing Member Posts: 6,278

    Although that’s good advice, I hope BHVR and the survivor community take a good hard look at this and implement some strict changes.

  • TheClownIsKing
    TheClownIsKing Member Posts: 6,278

    That’s as narrow minded as saying whatever is said on the phone, or posted on the internet cannot have consequences.

    Peoples behaviour matters, whether that’s physical or digital.

  • ShamelessPigMain
    ShamelessPigMain Member Posts: 1,877

    Play a different game. DBD can be one of the most infuriatingly toxic games out there, and there's nothing you can do.

  • CriticalWeasel
    CriticalWeasel Member Posts: 378

    If the game is making you feel more upset than you should be, best to stop playing and play another game or something else.

    I played League of Legends for years. When I was younger Ranked used to make me so pissed that at one point my hair actually fell out and created a bald spot, 2 of them in fact!

    I decided it would be better to play more casually and it worked out so well. I will miss my Gold 2 rank but my rage was threatening my physical health as well as my mental health.

    Games that really will chill you out or calm you down are:

    • Farming Sims like Stardew Valley & Slime Rancher
    • Replayable adventures/roguelike-rougelite games such as Loop Hero (Loving that new game so far.)
    • Party games like Fall Guys (Assuming your not a tryhard for winning crowns.)
    • Mystery/Investigation games like Dangaropa

    It's okay to play competitive, but it's always good to know when to stop.

  • Alphasoul05
    Alphasoul05 Member Posts: 601
    edited March 2021

    It's just a game.

    You're an adult.

    People who BM and are toxic are usually manbabies who never grew up, teenagers who are immature, or just stupid people trying to make you upset.

    Be more objective with things. Maybe it's a bad map. Maybe the survivors got a great layout. Maybe they're just really good. Maybe you can think about what you could've done better. Maybe you shuldn't have committed to that one chase at x place. Don't make EXCUSES, but be reasonable.

    Go into every game and don't think about winning, or the stress of having to do things. Just play, do whatever as best you can, and try and have fun. I know it's cliche but the truth is unless you make a serious effort to trick your brain into just not caring, there really is no secret that will magically make it go away without some concentrated effort on your part.

  • chadbeastofprey
    chadbeastofprey Member Posts: 437
    edited March 2021

    just play a different game. or turn of the chat. or learn to deal with it.

    Post edited by Rizzo on
  • C3Tooth
    C3Tooth Member Posts: 8,266
    edited March 2021

    Recently Im trying to be the most positive as I can. No matter how the match goes, bullied by swf, or camped, slash on hook. I will just post chat with "gg have a nice day". It strangely makes me feel better. For many reason.

    Rather than being neutral, create a positive shield will prevent you become negative from toxic players.

    And I realize some players just want to get salt from other people, nothing more. Getting angry is what they want. Dont give it to them.

    A game where I lost as Killer, as usual I "gg have a nice day". A toxic survivor "ggez noob killer". Another survivor "dude dont be rude". The toxic "NO, I DO WHAT I WANT". Then I realize he's merely a teenager, and I feel the mature grow in me.

    Create your self a positive shield. Have fun no matter what.

  • PanicSquid
    PanicSquid Member Posts: 655

    Ignore end game chat/messgages. You might miss some nice comments, but you'll definitely dodge the toxic ones.


    Play how you want. Have fun, its not your job to ensure the other side has fun, but don't go out of your way to be rude.

  • TurtleSushiTV
    TurtleSushiTV Member Posts: 156
    edited March 2021

    Turn chat off, Play the game and enjoy. Try not to focus on others with Multiplayer games comes Toxicity its just the way it is. I'm not saying the community as a whole is but as it is with everything in life a few bad eggs here and there. Just enjoy buddy :]

    Post edited by TurtleSushiTV on
  • GoodBoyKaru
    GoodBoyKaru Member Posts: 22,810

    They believe in you.

    Also, for a tip, take a break. For a couple days. It helps immensely.

  • Marc_go_solo
    Marc_go_solo Member Posts: 5,332

    A game isn't worth harming yourself over, so initially I'd say avoid it. At the very least take a break from it.

    However, if you did want to play it, it's best to maybe take a break after every round. Make yourself a drink, do a few minutes exercise, walk outside.. whatever you like, just to make sure you have a chance to separate the gaming world from reality. It breaks immersion, which in turn will start to lessen any impact toxicity may have.

    If comments do hurt, it's best to not rise to the challenge. Either block them, or make a jokey comment back. Not anything nasty, but enough to defuse the situation - then block them. For example, one player gave me toxic afterchat, to which I replied: "Love you too!".

    Basically, if you really want to play, make a solid action to separate reality from the game. Maybe even do just 2-3 rounds during a session with a break inbetween each one. I hope you're able to get out of the self-harming spiral you've found yourself in.

  • GoodBoyKaru
    GoodBoyKaru Member Posts: 22,810
  • Dabihwow
    Dabihwow Member Posts: 3,409

    I actually just looked you up on Twitter, dude, you look like Dwight!

  • GoodBoyKaru
    GoodBoyKaru Member Posts: 22,810
    edited March 2021

    Know what, we take those. At least I think that's a good thing?!

    Except my hair is longer & better.

  • tippy2k2
    tippy2k2 Member Posts: 5,204

    Yeah, I 100% agree that I don't think this was done on purpose at all (if it was, I think even EA would look at it and go "Holy ######### dude, we're evil but that's EVIL evil). But the bottom line is that at this point in the games cycle, at least in my experience, what you stated above is 100% how the game plays right now. Whether designed deliberately or not, that is the reality that this game currently lives in.

  • getuy45u4iu
    getuy45u4iu Member Posts: 93

    Some survivors don't realize that teabagging is toxic, they are not self-conscious. I asked them sometimes if they teabag to offend me, they said they don't. I'm not trying to justify them, but to me it is easier to cope with someone's toxicity when I understand that those people do not have intention to offend me.

    Of course, there're many cases when malicious intent from survivors is obvious, and new killer players suffer from this a lot. I think the best option in this case is to learn playing killer better to be able to punish them in game. It is expected to see more experienced opponents, so you need to be patient. When you gain more experience, you'll learn some ways to deal with bodyblocking, flashlights, excessive altruism, etc. Don't be afraid to take strongest perks and addons to have better chances, but make sure you read and understood how they work. Also, if you're on Steam, consider checking their profiles in lobby. If they have much more hours than you or are a 3-4 man SWF, consider dodging, since quite likely you'll have hard time in this game.

    If you feel insecure after a game, it's better to avoid any post game communication and hide the chat. I believe there should be an option to disable post game chat completely in settings, I don't understand why the devs won't consider it.

  • dezzmont
    dezzmont Member Posts: 481
    edited March 2021
    • I don't understand why the devs won't consider it.

    Same reason EGC is in the game, they don't have even a basic automated report system, and why swivel hook is in the game but swivel grab isn't:

    Again, part of the 'value' of DBD from a survivor perspective is they let you be... comically cruel to people. That is, again, part of the point, and its just a deeply ingrained part of survivor culture at this point to be absolutely ######### to killers post game for any reason you can make up.

    It might not be stated as such internally, but that is a consistent design direction of DBD: "Maintain ways for people to be toxic, a huge portion of our userbase is toxic, recontextualize it as just goofyness."

  • fogdonkey
    fogdonkey Member Posts: 1,567

    Body blocking and flashlight stunning is not toxic behavior. Tbagging maybe..., but, is pressing Ctrl button toxic? If someone is rush-vaulting a window over and over to mess with loud notifications... maybe it is toxic, but at least you know where is one survivor and you know the survivor is not doing a gen.

    My advice is to accept the fact that these are valid behaviors, that there are better players or teams than you, and you will often not win / get many hooks. Or just stop playing if you can't handle this.

  • HellDescent
    HellDescent Member Posts: 4,883

    I think the best thing for you to do is not play it and even uninstall, so that you're not tempted. Mental health is far more important than some game. And then once you're feeling healthier you can always come back to it. I doubt dbd is going anywhere, and if it will that means there is competition and a better asymetrical horror game is out there. Try playing some coop pve games if they help you to cope with things, there is no stress or toxicity in those.

  • Buckoben
    Buckoben Member Posts: 359
    edited March 2021

    If it wasn't intentional at first it is now.

    Remember during the Q&A where the animations were changed and BHVR made sure to put into the presentation that you can still teabag using the new animations even showing video of it, and then proceeded to give stats about teabagging while saying that "people don't run into it as often as they think" (I'm paraphrasing here).

    @dezzmont hit the nail on the head, worryingly so.

    And to BHVR, the optics on that are incredibly bad as either you guys are oblivious, or you guys are intentionally winking at the toxic part of the fanbase.

  • NVerde
    NVerde Member Posts: 264

    Stop playing this game. Immediately.


    If it's affecting you that badly to the point of self harm it is not something you should have in your life. Play games that bring you joy and peace, not cause mental distress.