This game is an abusive relationship and I don't know if I have the strength to leave it

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A_Can_Of_Air
A_Can_Of_Air Member Posts: 2,015
edited April 2021 in General Discussions

Been here since Winter 2017.

The recent chapter and what has followed...I'm drained, mentally and emotionally.

I love the gameplay, I like coming to the forums to discuss the game, I love the atmosphere, the visual design of the realms, the characters and their lore...

I hate the community, it's toxic and vile, there seems to be very few genuine good people out there. Maybe I'm generalising, but it's how I feel. The toxicity has not changed one single bit since I started playing, and it will not stop until the game is down.

I feel like the developers don't care about me, only my money, which I stopped giving them last October. They may care, but it does not feel like it. It doesn't feel like they are truly trying to combat toxicity, or shake up the meta, or make changes fast enough to keep people around. Killers do not feel as original as they used to. A new Killer comes out and it's usually a spin on an existing one with possibly a small unique twist (torment cages, multiple controllable bodies).

I'm worn out, I want to leave but I can't, because the gameplay is addictive. The game can be fun, but it can also be so draining. Dealing with toxic players is draining, to the point where every toxic player is basically just the same person. That toxic player I met today is no different to the toxic player I met back in December 2017. It's the same thing today, it'll be the same tomorrow and then the next day, and the next.

I'm tired. Will I leave today? Maybe, I don't know. I do have other games, but I always find myself crawling back. The spike in recent toxicity and disappointment in lack of new, meaningful gameplay is pushing me away and I hope it works this time. I really, really want to find something else to escape to.

I'm sorry for the rambling, but this might be the first time I'm pushed away from one of my favourite games instead of it dying on me first.

I have uninstalled the game now, but I will genuinely update this post if I cave in and come back. Goodbye for now.

Comments

  • megswifey
    megswifey Member Posts: 826
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    I really hope you can find joy in this game again, but I also understand how this chapter has pushed many away for the last time. However, if you are addicted to this game it may be good to take a break and continue to extend it when you can; Start with three days not playing, then try a week next time, and keep extending it until it becomes a game rather than a dependency. I don't have post game chat since I'm on console, but I have had some rude ttvs and messages sent my way for not playing perfectly but it's a video game-- If this were real life I'd be fine with friends yelling at me for leaving them on a hook lol! Anyways, I wish you the best of luck in fighting your addiction and finding balance :)! I had to find it with this game as well and it's hard at first but I felt so much better when I could go days without playing because no matter how fun a game may be I need to view it as such: a game.

  • Freudentrauma
    Freudentrauma Member Posts: 1,051
    edited April 2021
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    I wish you good luck. It's hard to leave something behind that you liked, but became unhealthy for you to deal with. I hope you find the strength to stop caring about this game and moving on.

    But please don't compare it too much with an abusive relationship, Abusive relationships in real life are much toxic, dangerous and damaging. Not that I don't believe you and don't understand you and your frustration. Just keep in mind, when doing such comparison, what that actually means.

  • Xzan
    Xzan Member Posts: 907
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    I understand your feelings. I stopped buying cosmetics with aurics after the halloween scam event.

    "Keeping teabagging satisfying".. this statement after the release of an broken DLC (Twins chapter) was a spit in the face. Nothing else.

    And I'm still playing this game. I met a lot of good people because of this game. But I think a break would help you in the long run. Just don't watch any dbd content, otherwise the urge to reinstall might come back.

    Take care of your health. <3

  • tippy2k2
    tippy2k2 Member Posts: 5,059
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    Someone in the thread I was in where I had to be talked off the cliff nailed the hell out of it.

    It was downright scary how much my experience felt like what they stated in that thread and honestly, based on what you're saying above, it sounds like you're in the same place I was.

    I ultimately reconciled with myself being "allowed" to play this game (I set myself up a few rules to help keep me from becoming that frustrated ever again) that I have promised myself that if I ever break my own rules and get that frustrated again that I would remove the game forever and not give myself another chance to "prove" to myself that I can handle it again.

    I have no idea if this will help you but I found that seeing behind the curtain a bit really kind of helped me get back into a place where I felt like I could play the game again without being controlled by the game. I hope this helps you the same way it did me (and I once again greatly thank Frenzied for their conversation about this in that old thread).

  • Phasmamain
    Phasmamain Member Posts: 11,531
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    My best advice is to take a break. Even just a week is enough for to come back refreshed.

    As for toxicity this community is too bad imo. Maybe it’s because I came from games like overwatch but this games toxicity is usually very petty and meaningless

    If you really aren’t having fun then just leave for the time being. Games are for fun after all

    Good luck in whatever you do next :)

  • tippy2k2
    tippy2k2 Member Posts: 5,059
    edited April 2021
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    ...#########, I'm an idiot :D

    I quoted the wrong person in my above post (though Frenzied had some good tips in here too!)

    This is the one I MEANT to quote in my above post but evidently the EDIT button is not powerful enough to remove quotes and I'd rather not delete everything and start over D:

    So sorry for the confusing mess I made my two posts into. Hopefully it all still makes sense to you and can help you decide what to do with the game...

  • Phasmamain
    Phasmamain Member Posts: 11,531
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    I’m pretty sure that was a joke. But tbf I use Tbagging as a way of saying hello to my fellow survivors and thanking them

  • Thatbrownmonster
    Thatbrownmonster Member Posts: 1,640
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    The best way to fight this is finding a new game/series to play


    It was hard for me to leave DBD so I know the feeling, my last time that I played was last year and my mental and physical health have improved.

    In my case I started playing yakuza 0 which was pretty addicting and fun


    My tip for you is to find a singleplayer game that lets you play at your own pace and that is fun, because the sooner you do it the better. It might be hard for you at first so try to limit yourself at least 1 hour of dbd a day, then 1 hour each 2 days and eventually you will see improvements

  • Dr_Loomis
    Dr_Loomis Member Posts: 3,703
    edited April 2021
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    I'm busy clawing my way slowly toward level 70 of the pass. When I'm there...I will be taking leave of the fog. Not sure if I will return.

  • Xzan
    Xzan Member Posts: 907
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    I didn't see it as a joke at that time. If you release a broken product you shouldn't be making jokes that may fuel the fire that is called toxicity here. But we might get a bit offtopic here.