I'm Craving Such a Girthier Bird

In short, I need a real thick lad and it feels funny that we don't have one yet.

I've always been a huge (huge) huge fan of Pyramid Head and one thing that's always been absolutely awful about him is the length of his power. Sure, it satisfies, sometimes, but so often (As I'm loathe to admit) it falls just an inch short, and a little too late. Of course, as most people would readily agree, our wonderful Pyramid Father has two range add-ons that help close the deal. It does come with the tragic side effect that for most use cases it means you wouldn't want to bring anything else. When dealing with that style of power, length is King for my King.

I've recently explored the delights that other Killers may have to offer to scratch that itch and I've stumbled on the inspired Carmina. And boy let me tell you she has no issues when it comes to launching those bad boys to the end of any realm and beyond. But here's something I've been struggling with. More whiffs! I know, crazy right? Sure I more regularly get that satisfying hit with a noise of success like a Pavlovian dinner bell telling me it's time to eat. But I still find myself regularly salivating over nothing but a vague throb of the heart. Foul business.

Now what I was lacking for in length is exchanged for an incredible lacking in width. These birds are much too tiny. Let's be real here, if someone threw a rock at me the size of a bird, or a bird the size of a rock, I could reasonably step out of the way at a snails pace and be just fine. But feed that rock (or bird) a few french fries, and it's gonna be like Indiana Jones against a boulder. Even if you get away, you're still worse for the experience. And what's worse, there's more McCrows right after that one.

A lot of Carmina's add-ons are cute, but they don't seem to change a whole lot. I feel like Carmina based on her lore has a lot of love for the world and the creatures within it, even in the entities realm. Looking at her Mori we can absolutely see that holds true as she's actively denying the Entity a sacrifice to feed her precious babies. (After all, what is a Dwight but a piñata full of fries.) So it would surprise nobody to have a "French Fry" add-on that implies she feeds them as if they were ducks at a pond and she were the entire bakery.

In conclusion, girthier crows are what DBD needs. Give me a real beefy boy. It's good for the artist, and it's good for the birds.