feeling like my life is ending

EvanRaven

i'm in a really bad state right now as i type this so i'll probably forget i ever made this post tomorrow morning

i don't think i have ever made a post about my personal life before. but whatever. yesterday i woke up to an ambulance outside my house and carrying my mum out in a stretcher. i had no idea what the ######### was going on since i had just woken up. apparently the nurse that comes to my house daily to give her insulin called them.

when they left yesterday i pretty much just cried on and off for the entire day. my half sister came home since my mum is in the hospital probably because i'm the most ######### up of my family and can't take care of the house. i absolutely hate my half sister because she was extremely abusive to me my whole life. she moved out for uni 2 years ago and i could have never been happier. she was acting nice to me yesterday but today she finally went back to her old self. was sat in the living room and she said she was gonna go lie in my bed which pissed me off since i don't like people going in my room at all. that resulted in her screaming at me and calling me a stupid ######### :) .

i can't take this at all. i'm thinking about my mother non stop. i'm so sensitive right now and this abuse really is not helping. i cannot even do simple things like play video games. i actually considered seriously harming myself earlier just to get away from her and be able to be in peace just for a bit.

i know this is just a random rant you can ignore it i just need somewhere to put it and everyone in off topic has been so nice to me.. :')

Shaped

Please don't harm yourself you won't achieve anything. I know it can get unbearable but you can get through this. Try keeping yourself distracted.

Hugs.

[Deleted User]

I hope you can feel better soon, it does sound like a stressful situation. I'm sure many can empathise with that.

Try looking for something to take your mind off things and have fun with. I like to watch youtubers play horror games 😆

And self harm, don't do it, it's seriously not worth it. It might make you feel better short term but it doesn't solve the root cause at all. So it's better to find something that you can use to get through the bad times without causing permanent damage. Stuff like this is sensitive so i'd recommend talking to a professional if you needed more help with it.

Marc_go_solo

My best wishes to you at this time. Sounds like you're in a difficult place right now, worrying about your mother and dealing with a muppet for a half-sister.

Your mother is with the best possible care that can be provided, and they will do all they can to help her get through this. Visit whenever you need an update and speak to someone there if you need support through this yourself. Also, it would get you out of the house and being there for your mother may give you a feeling of purpose that may alleviate that sense of vulnerability you have.

You're half-sister being there may also be a strange blessing, as it may encourage you to not stay in the house as much; allowing you to meet with friends or mentors who can be there for you, or being with your mother in hospital. She sounds a dick, and remember that, despite her attitude problem, she still has to ######### and piss on the toilet like everyone else. She's no better or worse than anyone else - she still does the basics everyone else does. Grounding her into that little fact may help you see she's not as big as she tries to be.

And hurting yourself is a way of trying to deal with the pain. Don't feel like you aren't able to cope because of that. Everyone has their way. There are more helpful and fulfilling ways to deal with your feelings such as leaning on friends for support or looking for mentors or others to help you. Even exercise! Technically, if pain is what helps you feel, make it a pain that is productive, such as achey legs after a run, or punching a punch bag in a gym until your arms hurt. But you can be as strong as you allow yourself to be, and being open with others is surprisingly one of the strongest things you can do.

Stay safe and take care.