Understanding Angry Player Behavior

WolfePhD · April 2

I am sorry this is a long post, but I take Dead by Daylight very seriously and I want to express my thoughts on a complex topic. This complex topic, understanding angry player behavior, has three discussion questions embedded within a narrative for understanding, and listed at the end for discussion and convenience. I am unable to make any further progress, and I have saved my final thoughts at the moment as Food for Thought.

I am an open minded person, and I frequently test the validity of my beliefs out of curiosity. I have played Dead by Daylight with anonymous mode on for years now. I believe that it is necessary to have a good gameplay experience. I do not receive any hate messages with it on when I play on console. I decided to make a change and play with it off, to test the waters. I have had to put the mode back on because it got too toxic for me.

The worst part, for me, is that when people are hateful—they tend to be confidently incorrect. I unfortunately do not have any recordings of these games to validate my argument—but the arguments against me have no logic!

You suck at the game and you are the worst teammate I've ever had because you worked on a generator instead of getting me off the hook. You are deathhook and injured, and that is clearly the right thing to do when your other two teammates, who are also injured, have not yet been hooked once. What???????????
- ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? on what planet would I save you?????

It's one thing to think you know more about the game than another player. It's another thing to hold every player you meet to an imaginary standard that this player is not aware they are being held to. It's a third thing to make that player feel bad because they did not meet the imaginary standard you had no way to communicate to them. It is very clear to me, from my perspective—that for the first time in a long while, I am logically not wrong here.

If this is the natural state of Dead by Daylight to me, and I have just been blind to it because I've been on anonymous mode for years now — do you think my observations are in alignment with your experience? I play Dead by Daylight on an Xbox. Most of the people from the incoming FNAF wave probably do not have the $1250+ needed to play DBD at 60FPS on PC and will most likely play on console, just like me. I worry that Dead by Daylight's walled garden might be created by the community itself. If I was a new player, I would probably quit after I had someone send me messages that said I didn't know how to play and I sucked at playing the game. That is the purpose of this post, and it is something I have been putting time into thinking about. For people who actually play Dead by Daylight without anonymous mode on (brave warriors) — I am really interested to hear your experience. How often are you exposed to hate, anger and frustration if you play without anonymous mode on?

Under the assumption I am correct (rare but let's assume) and I have been blind to a really big problem, the main pressing issue is that there isn't an easy, logical solution. Players that think they know how to play the game better than everyone else have a belief. How do you change a belief in a game without the ability to communicate in a trial? It is highly unlikely to assume that someone just magically went from 0 to 100 in a snap decision. It is more likely to assume there was a chain of interconnected events that frustrated the player to express anger. What tools could we give to a player to circumvent that? To prevent the balloon from expanding? Even if I reviewed my gameplay, there is no way you could guess the source of frustration without directly asking the player and collecting evidence from them as it happens, in the moment. Goal: To emotionally get to the point.

I do not have a calling in life to become a YouTube content creator to influence someone's belief externally. Though it makes sense to me how SpooknJukes has an entire YouTube channel where he does this weekly. At the same time, I don't see how anything productive can come from ME engaging with someone that has found the strength to willingly insult someone they've never met. That conflicts with my personality and my identity. There is an inherent uphill battle and I have to shatter the "I think I am better than you" perception before they will even give me a chance to speak because the culture/environment allowed a perception to form. I am not the community therapist and I do not have the mental resources to do that. Whether it is implied or not, content creators are compensated for their time experiencing negativity in some way. I am just a normal person. I don't want to fight everyone I meet in order to play a video game I really like. We have arrived at a logical impasse here: I have an issue, but I do not want to address it by combating it directly (become content creator/address it head on privately) and there are no tools available for me to use until AFTER this person has ALREADY concluded they are better than me, they know better than me, and they have closed themselves off from anything I have to say.

I am sure there is a creative, unique solution to this problem—but I am just have not yet arrived at it yet. I need to spend more time thinking about "How else can I change someone's belief in DBD without making myself a victim of someone else's wrath?", and I hope that by thinking out loud in this post—it might help other people who are a bit wiser than me to trace the logical path I have put together and share their thoughts on addressing the root cause. I feel like I have been going in circles, and I am not able to move past the logical blocker we have.

Discussion Question 1:

Do you think my observations, with anonymous mode off, are in alignment with your experience?

Discussion Question 2:

How often are you exposed to hate, anger and frustration if you play without anonymous mode on?

Discussion Question 3:

It is more likely to assume there was a chain of interconnected events that frustrated the player to express anger. What tools could we give to a players to reduce the anger of another player, or circumvent additional anger from being generated? To prevent the balloon from expanding? Our goal here should be to emotionally get to the point.

Food for Thought

How else can I change someone's belief in DBD without making myself a victim of someone else's wrath?

ScissorKid02 · April 2

I personally play on PS5, with anonymous mode off constantly, and though I believe your experience, I have never experienced any kind of toxicity in the game. No one has ever used the Playstation messages to call me bad or anything like that, and since there is no in-game chat for console players, I am only aware of toxicity through in game things like a SWF t-bagging me at the exit gates. I'm not quite sure why you receive toxic messages and I don't because I main the Clown. People hate playing against the Clown.

Minibeasty · April 2

I'm not entirely sure if I understand your first question, but I'll give it a go. Feel free to correct me if I'm mistaken.

"Do you think my observations, with anonymous mode off, are in alignment with your experience?"

When people are under the influence of strong emotions they tend to become irrational, players in dbd are no exception. Admitting that you yourself made a mistake and therefor lost the chase is not something these players are likely to do, it's simply easier to blame it on external factors. External factors can sometimes be the reason you lost, but in many cases it is not. I personally do not engage with these people since their opinion about me or my gameplay is irrelevant to me.

"How often are you exposed to hate, anger and frustration if you play without anonymous mode on?"

I play on pc with endgame chat enabeled, despite this I think most people are pretty chill. Their either say "gg", compliment eachother, or simply move on with their lives. Toxicity and hate are rare to me, but it does happen… just not very often.

"What tools could we give to a players to reduce th events that frustrated the player to express anger. e anger of another player, or circumvent additional anger from being generated? To prevent the balloon from expanding? Our goal here should be to emotionally get to the point"

Whatever led to their outbust is irrelevant in my opinion, their emotional turmoil is not your or anyone elses problem. What we can do is to ignore it or wish them luck in their next game. As I said, many of these players are irrational and having a discussion with them is usually a waste of time. At the end of the day they have to take responsibilty for their own actions, emotions and how they treat others.

"How else can I change someone's belief in DBD without making myself a victim of someone else's wrath?"

You can't, not unless the player in question is willing to listen or change their mind. Sometimes I try to offer some ecouragement, or ask if they perhaps should play something else for a while since they're clearly not enjoying themselves. This is usually met with something like "I would enjoy this game if people like you didn't ruin it", so I usually just ignore them.

Taking breaks when this game starts to feel stressfull really does wonders and have helped me enjoy it alot more.

buggybug · April 2

I do 50 50 on ps5 console or pc, if I get streamed sniped by a killer who is bad and has to cheat to win I put it back on for rest of stream. I do have a resolution though yet I have been lazy. But I should put mix it up on my twitch, this nifty tool can let me know the killer in stream to cheat.

Like I don't mind you coming by after the end game but doing it during the match when I know you have 0 info perks and find me where I am is so apparent.

I have friends only on console and follow mode only ever so that would help on any pissy survivor or killer trying to come into my stream saying how bad of a teammate or how bad of a survivor I am even though said killer or survivors was the one to blame themselves. Yeah am bad but got iri in all 4 emblems right.

Edit: Forgot to say when am killer am 100% annon but survivor is 50 50

Jadelysta · April 2

There is no Anonymous mode on xbox, i would know because i sadly play on Xbox myself.

smurf · April 2

I play on PC, so I get the fun of post-game chat. There's a broad range of people talking in post-game chat, from people who are worse than those you mention to those who are awesome to deal with even when they're disappointed. Fortunately, more are positive than not :)

I chose to play games only on PC a while ago though, so I haven't used a console in ages. So I don't know how much effort is needed to jump over to someone's profile to message them. If it's like it is on Steam, it's one or two extra clicks. It's possible that people who would otherwise be pleasant to deal with just aren't motivated enough to hop over and message people with silly, fun, or nice comments, while people who are grumpy are very inclined to complain.

About your question of how to reach those people in a way that might impact their approach to community interactions: A long time ago, I worked in some public facing customer service positions. The trends were similar. People were mostly nice, mostly friendly, but some people have no idea how to handle being angry. I definitely got yelled at for a store being out of the soda someone wanted. Store out of shampoo? Yell at cashier. Most of that anger would diffuse rapidly when people talked to my face for a minute though.

The anonymity enabled by the internet makes that sort of diffusion of hostility less likely since people aren't interacting face-to-face. Early on in my gaming experiences, I did find that if I told someone that I felt poorly because of their playstyle, that could sometimes help add humanity and get people to talk positively. But that's a double-edged sword because some people will then double down when you make yourself vulnerable to them. I think adding humanity into interactions is the way that has worked best for me. But I'm not sure how best to do that. Anonymous mode does sound like it helps prevent some of the negative for you, but I'm not sure how to add that personal interaction that I find diffuser conflict :/

hermitkermit · April 2

Your post brings up really compelling discussions about player behavior, belief systems, and the social dynamic of the game! I appreciate the in depth post and sharing your internal thoughts so vulnerably here online, especially after you've experienced some negativity already.

Are your observations in alignment with my experience?

So, I actually played outside anonymous mode for a very long time, until just recently. Like, maybe two weeks ago recently. And I have since turned it back off, and now play with my name displayed again. Now, why I turned it on? Frankly, it was out of shame. There was a match on Midwhich against a Pig. And myself and two other survivors were left. One of them was on the hook, the gate was open. The other was dead hook, injured, and in chase. The hooked survivor was in the small outdoor courtyard between the two gates. I was headed towards that survivor to unhook when through the other doors came the survivor currently being chased by the pig. I was not injured, and I wanted to take a hit for the injured dead hook survivor, then run to get the unhook. But… I fumbled it. I tried to take a body hit and ended up body blocking. They went right and I went right, then I just stood still off to the side— but they did the exact same thing. They ended up getting downed. I felt awful. I ran to get the unhook, got downed after, and the pig left both of us slugged to get the recently unhooked survivor. It resulted in a 4k.

Now, in the after game chat I already started typing out an apology. Because I knew I screwed it up. And the person in question doubted that I didn't do it intentionally, they thought I purposefully bodyblocked them. I felt like a floundering fish, typing things out so fast, trying to explain myself, my mistake, and my intentions. They ended up saying that they wouldn't take it as malice, but told me to do better. Which, they're right. I messed up. And I felt so terrible that I was worried any of those other survivors, if they got in another match with me, would instantly lobby dodge. So that's why I put on the Anonymous mode. I played around a bit with it, but then after the shame wore off, and I gave myself some grace because It was a mistake, I had good intentions, It was a very unlucky situation with the hooked survior being right next to the running dead hook injured survivor, and me not anticipating the right angle for a body block, I forgave myself and went back to displaying my name.

Now, not in my specific case above, but in general, I believe that there's a mix of negativity bias (people focuisng on negative experiences more than positive ones) and Attribution error (blaming other's mistakes on their incompetence but attributing their own mistakes to external factors). I think when people send toxic messages after a game, it's because they believe their loss was caused by someone else rather their acknowledging the chaotic nature of DBD. Players do absolutely have a subjective understanding of "right" and "wrong" gameplay that doesn't always align with the game. Different levels of play, personal expereinces, and misinformation shape individuals beliefs of what "should" happen in a match. Luckily this person seemed to understand it was an honest mistake, but many would not have been so forgiving.

2. How often are you exposed to hate, anger, and frustation if you play without anonymous mode?

I do think this really depends on platform and MMR. I think console communities tend to be more vocal beacuse of the built-in messaging systems. But I do think that the mere existance of Anonymous mode is proof that toxicity is an issue. I do get some comments every now and then, from fellow survivors being like "you suck" to killers saying, "zzzz" But for the most part, typically nobodody says anything. I only played anonymously for a very short time, maybe 2 days or so? So my comparasion scope is rather small, but personally I didn't see much of a difference. I don't believe this is the common experience, however. I think I'm an outlier here.

3. What tools could help mitigate in-game frustration before it leads to post-game toxicity?

This is definitely tricky because the game doesn't allow in-game communications beyond 3 gestures. So there's no real way to de-escalate frustrations in real time. I have two possible ideas, these are just personal thoughts.

An In-Game endorsement System that does something.

We do have the option after every match to 'give props'. I do this, but I do believe it has been confirmed that it actually doesn't do anything. BHVR has the data, but as of now, isn't doing anything with it. I think this is a great way to encourge positive gameplay behaviors rather than only focusing on negative ones. Perhaps the props given could equate to a BP bonus, unlock special cosmetics, charms, banners. etc. I think if people recieved occasional bonuses for good teamwork, good behavior, or smart plays, it would help shift the post-game conversations away from blame. Maybe even a gifting system of some kind could be implimented. I would LOVE to give a killer a nice fat Blood Point Basket because they let me get my glyph BEFORE downing me. Or send over a Blood Point Bouquet to that Adam who came back to unhook me after everyone else had left. Frankly, there aren't alot of incentives or rewards for trying to look on the bright side, so to speak. I'm sure that losing a match would sting a little less if your efforts were rewarded, especially by those on your team or even better, by the opposite team.

More transparents Post-Game Data

I think alot of frustration can come from misunderstandings from what happened in a match. If players had access to more detailed post-game stats, it would really help put things into perspective. Like how much time each survivor spent in chase, doing gens, getting heals, totems, chests etc. It could help prevent snap judments or accusations. I'm not sure what kind of stats could be given to killers, as a survivors chase time would reflect the killers as well, but maybe how many hooks they gave to each survivor, how many times they kicked a gen or how many breakable walls.

Food for thought:

Your struggle here is valid. You want to contribute to a beter community but don't want to subject yourself to unnecessary negativity. Plus the responsibility that would put is not for everyone, I certainly don't think I'd be capable of that. But the unforutate truth is that changing deeply ingrained habits like people's negativity and ego, takes a long time and alot of effort. But leading by example, supporting good content creators or fellow good players, and encouraging behvaioral changes are all things we can do as a community to help see change. Engaging in discussions like this one, and pushing for solutions rather than just venting can also influence future game design. I think the best way to change a belief isn't through arguing in post-game chat, but through reinforcing positive behaviors and increasing transparency which will shift the community's mindset over time.

Your post is already doing the work of fostering the discussion, and that's an important step forward!

Nazzzak · April 2

"Do you think my observations, with anonymous mode off, are in alignment with your experience?"

Not particularly

"How often are you exposed to hate, anger and frustration if you play without anonymous mode on?"

I play on PS5 and have had no real issues with this, fortunately.

"It is more likely to assume there was a chain of interconnected events that frustrated the player to express anger. What tools could we give to a players to reduce the anger of another player, or circumvent additional anger from being generated? To prevent the balloon from expanding? Our goal here should be to emotionally get to the point"

This requires time and emotional labour, and IMO not worth it. The sequence of events that lead to someone being unable to manage their emotions is outside of my control. What they choose to do is outside of my control. The only thing within my control is what I choose to do, and in a situation like this I'd choose to ignore them.

"How else can I change someone's belief in DBD without making myself a victim of someone else's wrath?"

There's a very good chance they're not open to changing their beliefs, and they're simply looking for a verbal punchingbag. So, I guess you can try and reason with them but as above, it's at the cost of your time and emotional labour. Not something I'd be invested in personally, but if you're up for the task then go for it lol

buggybug · April 2

@WolfePhD I dislike spooknjukes as much as tru3talent, spooks is one of those who hypocrites and talk about immature angry survivor/killer players and specially if they are ttv. Instead of being mature and ignore them he even responds back on pc or ps5 whenever someome calls him out on how he play.

What kind of content creator does that? Yes its true there is awful ttvs out there but he is no better doing videos about them.Anyways to your questions we are human be I nasty and people have a right to be upset and what not. However taking things too far.like telling someone to end themselves is disgusting and should never ever be a thing. What if its a young child or something? Keep it minimum and respectable.