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Ugh, these console players...
...I say to myself, expertly urban evading around a rock in the corner of the map, with the precision that only the talents of a pc gamer and a high-end mouse working in perfect harmony can offer. Surely it's not right that they should be playing alongside the likes of us?
I almost feel pity for them...
The killer has barely appeared on my shiny monitor, 50 metres away, but employing my cat-like reflexes to their fullest extent, I press the E key and dead hard into a tree.
Maybe, I play like a rank 15, maybe. Occasionally. But what would the console equivalent be? According to the steam forum calculations, a rank 20 survivor on pc is a rank 5 on console. So I should be a 1, if not higher, one could presume.
These reflexes come into play once more as the killer advances on me, hoping to deliver his final blow. I masterfully hit the exit game button, and I'm gone even before I hit the ground. Taking note of the globe icon next to the killer's name, I let out a shriek of laughter, my monocle falling from my face and plopping delicately into my glass of mountain dew.
Couldn't even hook me once!
As my tears of joy subside, I mark my victory by letting out a truly exquisite, juicy fart. The scent of last night's burrito rushes into my nostrils, accompanied by a subtle yet powerful hint of refried beans. I savour it, wondering if the intestines of a console scrub could produce such finery. I think perhaps not. I wish I'd bottled this one.
Comments
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I have to say I love the humour and style of writing.
But I don't get what you want to point out with this maybe because I don't play enough. Who is this addressed to? Killer or survivor, console or pc, the implementation of the crossplay itself? Because I read a little bit of everything into this and can't make out your own origins (which side and platform you play).
Sorry that I don't get it (I might be the exception here) but thank you for the hard laugh. 🤣
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I literally laughed out loud sitting at my desk lol. Not enough people wear monocles anymore...good on you lol.
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Uff i hate to say it, but i also had so far many aweful experiences with console survivors in the "high ranks". Im not saying all PC players are Elite, but what i have wittnessed so far, its no wonder we have those discussions in the forum.
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I'm a console both-sider, I'm mostly making fun of the superiority complex some (not all or most) pc players have been displaying since crossplay became a thing.
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Lol. I'm PC, solo queue only, rank 14 currently from the reset as survivor - which I'm bad at -, just left a game with 3 console kids (rank 8/9), I did 3 1/2 gens they ran in circles getting downed, hiding in lockers, crouch walking everywhere.
It was ######### painful to watch with Kindred. I can't even yell at them which is even worse. I'm very tempted to change my in game name to DO A ######### GEN when survivor queuing. In a killer game yesterday, I literally saw a console Claudette named Do A Gen. Now I know why.
EDIT: In fairness, I've seen PC players be as bad if not worse, but at least I can tell them where they ######### up in the lobby at the end.
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This post right here, is just a perfect piece of art and I loved it.
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I find the console player better skilled TBH
Which sucks for me as I'm a PC player who's barely out of potato pants most games but I work those potato pants hard!
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Well the superiority has definitely reached the heights of being called a complex but they are not without a base reason.
Framerates are lower on console than on pc (this will maybe change/be gone with the next gen).
Also you can't always be precise and have optimal Trunspeeds with an analog stick in first person games. Atleast without hundreds to thousands of hours on max sensitivity to adapt muscle memory to obtain the same precision again while being able to 180 instantly.
I myself love to play platformers and 3rd person games (not shooters) with a controller on pc.
But an additional difference is the distance to the screen and the quality of sound without headphones.
I played salt and sanctuary and darks souls together with my best buddy on his console and since I couldn't wait I played both on pc and I have to say it is way easier for me to play with the screen close to me. Headphones don't really matter in this example but I think we all know the difference they make.
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Oh I'm painfully aware of the performance issues on console that are usually at least not as bad on pc, it's for those who think playing on a specific platform actually means they're more skillful
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It will not be gone with next gen. The problem is not the console as every other game in existence runs better than dbd. The problem is the development of the game.
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True that, a good example for the other way is the horrendous port of horizon zero dawn right now.
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Lmao. You fell into the obvious trap.
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Yeah but this behavior origins in the same problem like toxic behavior, being anonymous online. They don't have to proof anything since noone will ever be able to get to them since they are protected by online anonymity. I had enough discussions about this in league of legends.
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I never even tried LoL but I've heard some horror stories wrt the community from friends who have
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Why, you rumbumptious ruffian! Away with you and your evil-doer ways, you fragrant man swine!! *shakes fist in typical menacing-yet-entirely-English manner*
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Nice poem
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Pretty much how I talk after half a pint of tennant's tbf
I want the archives guy to read it out
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Well tbh a quite similar scene as in dbd but the scale is different. Same toxicity from slurs to racism and death threads and trolling on different scale.
And the same overall entitlement with zero compassion for teammates/contestants, in respect to the argument " only I (my fun) matter(s)". But that itself is worth a discussion about people's behaviour in (small)team based PvP games aka trolling and DC.
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Sounds pretty much what I heard
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OP left me dead exhausted on the ground.
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You're good
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claps
Well done
but
You remembered the dew but forgot the cheetos. I'm sorry, this is a page 1 rewrite. 😋
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My poor lungs.
I literally had to put my phone down for around 5 minutes i was laughing so hard.
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this honestly feels like it's ripped straight from a book
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Glad you all enjoyed <3
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If you think you've had it bad, i've been dealing with them since DBD released on PS4
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So far I’ve noticed that the PC survivors die or DC more than console players which I wasn’t expecting. I was prepared for some really sweaty matches but I’ve not noticed a difference in difficulty. I guess potatoes are on every platform.
I can also tell the difference between console and PC because of the usernames / how they’re stylised.
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This feels relevant again
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Hehe thanks for this. This was pretty funny to read
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This post reminded me I'm out of Mountain Dew. I also appear to be missing a few teeth as well. The enamel is worn out on the remaining ones. Not long now...
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