New Chapter: Breathing From The Depths (Need Feedback)

Now, I'm no English major, and definitely no story maker but just want to get my ideas out there. Took a few ideas from someone else who also made a Boogeyman killer. Props to them for a bit of backstory help!

This fan chapter is by far my favorite, and I can't not keep coming back to make things more interesting. I removed his odd mini power, increased power cool down and added a new high skill chase ability to be used in unison with his main ability. Most of this stuff will just get ignored, but I don't really care.

Backstory: William Smithson wasn't the smartest child in the bunch, and lacked work ethic on top of it all, and his livelihood paid for it. He worked as a metalworker, as an apprentice to a station that primarily sold to hunters looking for traps and snares. He was nearly never on the front lines of trap construction, and spaced out onto the street whenever he was being tutored.

Over time, he gained an interest in the children that passed by, how happy they seemed. He was miserable. He wanted to be like them. He wanted to watch over them. He ditched his job right before the end of his apprenticeship, going to work at an orphanage for the so-called nightshift. He blasted the money he made at his apprenticeship by making cookies for the kids to wake up to, spending the bare minimum on himself. He saw their miserable sleeping faces turn into ones of joy and anticipation over time. He saw many kids come and go, each and every one learning about the man who brought treats every night. But the orphanage eventually was shut down, the kids getting transferred to another one miles and miles away from the first.

He didn't want to go back to a life of metalworking, and began sneaking into people's houses and hiding in closets until everyone was asleep. He'd watch the children while they slept, their faces so much happier then the miserable orphans. He did this often, nearly every night. But one child woke up, looking into this mysterious man's face, both terrified. She didn't even have the chance to scream before he put his hand over the girls nose and mouth, accidentally suffocating the poor girl to death. He laid the girl back down in her bed. In sheer panic, he leaped out the window, his small stature allowing it easily. As soon as he got back to his small house, barely kept intact, he had a panic attack. if that girl had gotten away, what would have happened?

The paranoia, bordering of pure insanity drove him back to his old metalworking place. It was shut down for the weekend, locked down. He had an idea, and grabbed the spare key lodged in the stone walls. He went in and just the sight gave him memories. Somehow his subconscious remembered nearly everything he had been taught. He got to work, making a glove trap with any materials he could find. It was beautiful, half way between a mini bear trap and half way a suffocation device. It was perfect, and he continued his stalking habits. But the paranoia built up inside caused any little twitch of a child would end up in him lashing out, suffocating them with his new creation.

The spree of children murders eventually gave him his title: The Boogeyman. But eventually he was caught. One of the children heard breathing inside their closet, and ratted him out to his parents. The parents weren't dumb, they got in contact with the police, not daring to check the closet. He was surrounded, nowhere to go. He started to cry, crying for safety, as his vision was enveloped in a thick black fog. He struck a deal with The Entity, his body shaping itself to the Entity's whims, and he began stalking once more.

Appearance: Medium height, hunched over. Wearing dirt covered English commoner clothes from the 1860's. His skin is pitch black, almost seeming like an endless void to those who stare into it for too long. His skin looks like its melting, seeming to flow over his clothes in certain spots. His eyes are sunk into his skull, and are a vibrant orange

Weapon: The Suffocating Glove.

Weapon animation: Swings out with his glove and lets the trap bite down on the survivor. Hit animation is just him quickly resetting the trap with his other hand.

Base Stats: All normal stats other than a 24 meter terror radius.

Power: His main ability is that he can enter lockers at the speed of a survivor slow exiting it, just without any noise. While in the locker his terror radius is suppressed and he can use Locker Jump

When in a locker, holding the active ability button, M2 for most people, will begin teleporting you to the locker closest to a survivor at the time of pressing M2. It takes 3.5 seconds of channeling the Locker Jump to get to the locker, and if a survivor is in the locker once you get there, you will grab them and exit the locker. Once he exits the locker after using his Locker Jump he will have a 3 second "Glory Period". For 3 seconds, the targeted (The one that was closest to the locker you jumped to) will have their aura revealed and The Boogeyman will gain the undetectable status effect, along with 125% movement speed. After 2 seconds of the glory period the targeted will get the hindered status effect and a decrease in vault speed by 15% for 10 seconds until hit by The Boogeyman. If the targeted survivor is 24 meters away or more by the time you exit the locker, he will exit the locker at the speed of a survivor fast exiting, making a boom notification for all survivors and will sprint at 200% speed for 3 seconds, still able to see the targeted survivor's aura, but none of the other Locker Jump effects will take place.

Paranoid Rush: When using his locker jumping ability, if The Boogeyman does not down his targeted survivor within 13 seconds, Paranoid Rush can be activated. Once the targeted survivor leaves a 24 meter radius around you after the 13 second time, Paranoid Rush activates immediately, without consent of course. If you down the survivor after the 13 seconds, but they don't leave the 24 meter zone Paranoid Rush will not activate until you use your ability again. When this activates, the Boogeyman moves at 66.6% movement speed for 1.5 seconds, letting out a map wide scream. His eyes also glow a blinding white light that almost acts as a more potent Red Stain. During this state, The Boogeyman leaps anywhere from 5 to 10 meters depending on how long it was charged, and will leap at a 22.5 degree angle, allowing you to jump over or onto smaller loops, or through windows if you're precise enough. While lunging, The Boogeyman cannot turn or cancel, moving at 150 speed and hitting anyone in its path. If a survivor is hit, it does one health state, though the Survivors do not gain a speed boost from being hit, but the hit animation is twice as long.

If you manage to hit a Paranoid Rush, the survivor you hit will have a killer instinct effect on them for 5 seconds.

Rush Details: When in PR, you can charge a leap with M1. By holding it anywhere from .1 to .6, you leap in the direction you were pointing, anywhere from 5-10 meters depending on how long you charged it for. After landing without hitting a survivor, you enter a .25 post leap state where you cannot charge a leap. If you leap into a wall, get pallet stunned, get blinded, or mess up your leaps you enter a 4 second stun.

The leaps are very punishing, and my idea is for them to be incredibly time precise. Trying to charge a leap during the post leap state will stun you, charging too long or too short will stun you, and if you don't start charging a leap within 1 second of the post leap state it'll stun you.

Teachable Perks:

Locker trap: Any survivor entering a locker will give the killer a boom notification and be locked in the locker for 3/6/10 seconds. Has a cool down of 60/45/30 seconds.

Next Target: Once you down the obsession, the closest survivor not in your terror radius will become the obsession and have their aura revealed for 3/4/5 seconds and be exposed for 20/25/30 seconds. They will not see the exposed status effect and will not receive any notification other than the obsession change.

Hex: Crippling Terror: For every down or hook, you gain a token.

You gain a "Cripple Point" For every second in the killer's current radius, which is changed depending on how many tokens you have, and being in a locker get rids of "Cripple Points" at a rate of 5/4/3 a second.

10 cripple points: Tier one is activated, all action speeds are reduced by 5/10/15%.

30 Cripple Points: Tier two is activated, the survivor is affected by the hindered status effect.

60 Cripple Points: Tier three is activated, the survivor is crippled, and cannot do anything except crouch, run, cleanse totems, and hide in a locker. All effects are removed while in a chase, and all CP are erased once hit by the killer.

3 Tokens: Totem activates, range becomes 10-24 meters, maxes at tier once.

5 Tokens: Range becomes 10-36 meters.

8 Tokens: Now maxes at tier 2

10 Tokens: Range becomes 10-48 meters

13 Tokens: Now maxes at tier three

15 tokens: Range becomes 10-60 meters

16 tokens: Survivors are permanently stuck at tier two excluding while in chase.

Pink Addons:

Torn Teddy Bear: The targeted survivor will be afflicted by the exposed status effect along with hindered. Disables Paranoid Rush

Iridescent Key: Paranoid Rushing into a breakable wall or pallet destroys it, and any time a generator is finished your Locker Jump ability immediately comes off cool down. Brings leap speed up to 175. Normal walking speed becomes 110, and your regular lunge is the size of T2 Myers

Purple Addons:

Owners Note: Glory Period is increased by 2 seconds.

Shattered Tray: Hitting a survivor with paranoid rush instantly recharges your main ability. Disables the killer instinct of hitting a survivor.

Expensive Grease: All windows and downed pallets are blocked within 24 meters of the targeted survivor along with hindered until the survivor is hit.

Metalworker's Key: While your Locker Jump is off cool down, your aura can not be read from more than 32 meters away.

Green Addons:

Hand Sewn Blanket: Fast exiting a locker after using your power no longer makes a notification, and you don't scream when entering Paranoid Rush

Shut Down Notice: Increases dash and Paranoid Rush speed by 10% normal speed

Home Key: Removes red stain and gives a .1 meter speed boost for 10 seconds after your glory period ends

Face Mask: Survivors can't hear your breathing while in a locker, and targeted survivors gain the exhausted status effect along with hindered

Note From Teacher: Reduces terror radius by 4 meters

Pure Gold: Reduces power cool down time by 15 seconds

Yellow Addons:

Junked Bear Trap: Applies extra hindered (Similar to Clown's addon)

Welding Mask: Decreases ability channel time and locker exit time by 20%

Straight Cs: Decreases terror radius by 2 meters

Jelly Filled Pastry: Increases dash and Paranoid Rush speed by 5% normal speed

Cheap Umbrella: Increases the glory period by 1 second.

Brown Addons:

Apartment Key: Decreases locker exit time by 10%

Moldy Plank: Removes the Glory Period when leaving a locker, grants 300% extra BP for getting hits on targeted survivor

Scraps: Decreases ability channel time by 10%

Kid's Shoe: Makes terror radius 50

New Survivor: Simo Mannerheim

Backstory: As a young boy, he spent his time tracking down animals he spotted near his family's house. But at 18, he enlisted into the Finnish military, getting thrown into The Winter War only a month later. He fought without being seen. After his days in the military, he retired to a cabin in the most northern parts of Lappland, using the limited food there to survive. As he grew older, it became harder and harder to hunt, and his last moments were against a moose that smelled his scent. As he lay on the ground, bleeding out, the fog took him in.

Appearance: A man in his mid forties with blonde-grey hair and bright blue eyes. He wears a white heavy duty jacket with an empty rifle holder on his back, along with grey winter pants and boots. Also wears a scarf that completely covers his neck, and would count as part of the head cosmetic

Perks:

Targeted: After being chased for 30/25/20 seconds, you can activate this ability. While standing still, press E to see the killer's aura for 10 seconds. If you move, the aura reading stops

Camoflauge: After crouching for 10/5/3 seconds, this perk activates. While this perk is activated, you lay on the ground as if you were in the dying state, but you make no noise for 10 seconds. This perk has a cool down of 120/90/60 seconds.

Don't Stop Till You're Dead: After dropping from a high place, gain the enduring status effect for 3 seconds. This has a cool down of 120/90/60 seconds

New Map: London Streets

The base of the map is four cobble streets, arranged in a square, completely surrounded by small shops, all with 1-2 floors depending on map generation. The main building is the metalworking building. It takes up an entire side of a street, and is three stores high. The first floor is a regular shop area, the second is a metalworking area, and the third is a bunkhouse, with many bunk beds lined up next to each other.

The map is supposed to be small with many layers

Anyways, the survivor and the map kinda suck, but I tried