Sorry for tunneling

I present to the court my admission of guilt. The honorable Judge Scoops, allow me to express myself this one last time, before you pass sentence and I find myself in the presence of your Executioner and Destroyer of All Life, Nea. After my story, I fully expect to hear the click of your flashlight, and your sentence declared in the language of your people: Teabags.

I was but a humble Blight, looking for a rousing hunt in the great outdoors, but alas, found myself indoors. A scientific institute of ill repute. While four others had taken this journey with me, of note were two:

Nancy, who brought with her the Strike of Decision. She was right not to trust me, though I knew not at the time that I would betray the sacred rules of the polite and respectful Killer.

The other was Claudette. In retrospect, I should have spared her and her coterie the burden of having neither corn nor bushes in which to immerse themselves and removed myself from the trial. Alas, I hadn't paid attention when they gathered at the campfire, for which I was already deemed "toxic".

The beginning of the trial was a burden, but I made due with what I had. Eventually, however, I managed to catch up to and down Nancy. She tried her best, and I tipped my hat after carefully placing her upon the hook, making sure of her comfort and security. I left and found the Claudette, trying her best to look like a bush in the middle of a white hallway, but it was to no avail, as my keen eyes mistook her not for a bush. I commenced in chase and we engaged in honorable fisticuffs. I found myself the victor, and as before, placed her upon a hook so as to give her a most spectacular view of the hallway.

This is, unfortunately, where my true nature was revealed, much to the horror and moral outrage of those present. Nancy arrived immediately after I had settled Claudette, and removed her from the raised thrown. I should have made haste to the edge of the map and worked my way back in, but in my jolly romp, I had ignored the rules. I hit the Nancy, and then the Claudette.

Please, hold your gasps, it only gets worse.

I then picked up the Nancy, as it would be rude to make Claudette sit on the same hook twice in a row, and my true crime was wide open for all to see: I was stunned and dropped her. I had tunneled her. Never, in the history of the game, has such a foul act happened. I, the Killer, had tunneled her. My attack on Claudette was but a ruse, and tunneling Nancy was clearly my goal. Why else would I have been stabbed thusly? The only truth, as we all know, is that a Decisive Strike only afflicts a tunneling Killer, so the scenario was clear. I had tunneled.

For this I am guilty, and for this I give my most sincere apology. I would ask for mercy, but I can see the look on Quentins face. His ugly expression matches my ugly crime. So I do not ask for my life, but a quick death. Give Nea her glock, and spare me the death of a thousand pallets.

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