People of the fog. I have an addiction.

You know how people have an addiction to a perk?
For some it's fire up
Others it's shadowborn
Every survivor on the planet it's deadhard
Do you wanna know my addiction?
Well.. it's quite simple.
I HAVE AN ADDICTION TO END GAME NEMESIS
THIS HAS BEEN THE MOST FUN I'VE EVER WITH A MEME BUILD, IT'S TRULY STUPENDOUS!
Survivors panic "Does he have Barbacue? Pop? He's not kicking gens. It's gotta be ruin, WHERE'S RUIN?!"
No one knows what I'm doing. Until. It's. Too. Late.
BOOM! ALL GENS GET COMPLETED
SWITCHES ARE BLOCKED
"NO WAY OUT"
I'M RUNNING AROUND PUNCHING MY ZOMBIES DOING MY SET UP
Then I see it...
A perfectly healthy and scared Claudette... all alone, no pallets, no windows, and with me who has NOED.
Claudette tries to run, but I'm faster than the wind, I miss my swing three times with elegance and passion because of this ######### FRAME RATE ISSUE ON CONSOLES
But, it doesn't matter... I whip her down, the survivors are still oblivious to my master plan...
I slug her and I make my presence known to the Blendette who thought I was blind. But, as I took one meaty step, I hear the frantic panting of a 65 year old chain smoker.
Bill, glorious Bill. So sweet and simple to unhook Claudette in front of me. I stop and watch as he becomes a hero, as he finishes, I give him a friendly love Haymaker.
EXPOSED
Everyone begins to panic. It's too dangerous, but as I down Bill, the Blendette runs up to me with a flashlight and crouches.
"He didn't see me, I'm sneaky."
I downed her lol.
I hook Bill and I begin to pick up Claudette and walk away, but... the most beautiful sound I ever heard rang out.
The grunts of an injured Claudette unhooking Bill... I quick pick up my new Blendette buddy and down Claudette as I watch Bill run away. It's fine... he'll have his turn soon.
I hook Blendette and reach for Claudette (good lord, please pick a different characters. All I see are Claudettes and Bills)
As I walk to a hook that's a light year away. Bill yet again super man dives towards the unhook. I don't know what I'm dealing with... but as I'm walking towards the hook. I hear the gate open. With glee I hook Claudette.
Bloodwarden.
Ace was busy and didn't notice the Zombie that's behind the heavy steel doors, Bill dashes forward and gets downed by the Zombie. Ace is powerless for he is incapable of healing his friend as my Zombie stands over Bill. I run over, Ace runs into my loving embrace as I down him.
Then... a gentle cough echos behind me, I turn and tentacle slam the oncoming Blendette, rendering her useless.
POWER
I may have had a bit to drink....
Shut up. It was a long day at work
Comments
-
This drunken dwarf is onto something
2 -
9/10. You would have gotten a 10/10 if you provided a video for my viewing pleasure.
Was going to knock your score down one more point for complaining about Claudette, but I forgive you since not everyone can fully grasp her Majesty and Superiority.
1 -
I'd say play what you want, sometimes it's refreshing to diverge away from the meta
0 -
There's too many lmfao
0 -
False.
0 -
Truth.
0 -
Unfun. Devs, nerf it immediately.
1 -
Blasphemy!
1 -
SHUT UP
1 -
Noed, Fire Up, Blood Warden and what's that last one?
Edit: No Way Out.
1 -
This is ######### golden, good post.
1 -
I have an addiction too… I can’t help myself…
No matter how hard I try to quit I still constantly cleanse all 5 totems and 99 exit gates😏
0 -
Yup, don't forget those two addons.
Depleted Ink Ribben and Mikhail's eye
0 -
Thank you haha
0 -
DIVINITY
1 -
Oh my god it's a rare good post
2 -
Thank you, I sometimes make drunk posts
2 -
I want to use No way out for Trapper end game build, but by the time I finish setting up, 1 Gen left. Not much chance to use it.
0 -
This was beautiful. As a survivor main, I actually felt your joy in this story
0