any good way to deal with anger and frustation caused by this game?
Sometimes i get stomped, bm'd, etc or i just feel really bad, and honestly the other side making fun of me and constalty harassing me doesnt help me at all, this game has brought MY WORST SIDE, im simply not myself when i play this game, and i dont really enjoy playing any other game really, so switching games is not an option, i need a way to quickly cool down and not be overwhelmed by anger and frustation.
Most of this anger and frustation turns out into disconnecting, i've been penalized up to 7 days, which dont get me wrong, was okay for me and was all my fault, i just waited there 7 DAYS without playing anything else, the dc penalty is okay, however it doesnt discourage people who are angry from doing it...i just keep doing it everyday, because im so angry and frustated i need to vent in some way or another.
I wish there was a way for people like me, who get frustated and angry VERY easily to properly vent and keep playing without, well you know, disconnecting in such rage.
one option i though about was some sort of time-out, where you can, after some time decide if you want to keep playing, or leave, if you're a killer, you grant the survivors a a pip and max bloodpoints so they dont complain that you left , also progress toward challenges would be saved, meanwhile as survivor you could give your team a compesation advantage, of everyone agrees to end the game, bloodpoints and pips.
my whole point is that I NEED some method to stop disconnecting in the heat of my rage, or another way to vent without having to wait an eternity, i cant just go afk because i will eventually go back and see the other side harassing, making fun of and even insulting me, there must be a better way than just letting the other side farm bloodpoints from you, while you sit there waiting like 10 more minutes, it just TAKES TOO LONG!
this was basically a little rant, please take it with a grain of salt.
Best Answer
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Therapy.
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Answers
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Have you tried Civ V?
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If this game is getting you this angry, it's time to stop playing it. Don't get me wrong, I used to get really angry when I first started. It just felt like everything was against me and that survivors weren't playing a fair game, but I took a step back and realized that Killer is harder by design and that it is naturally a very frustrating role. It isn't worth getting all bent out of shape for it and led me to main survivor, though in the end, I'm just wasting time here until I find a new game to get addicted to.
I suggest you try to find a new game or just avoid playing killer. It doesn't get better unless you master Nurse, Spirit and Blight.
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Go have a toke and then revisit.
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The main advice to give is to not take the game so seriously. This game can be unfair no matter which role you play, so don't just expect to win even if you make no mistakes. But be glad if you do. Take a 5-10 minute or so break after a stressful game so your anger doesn't boil over into the next game. Change things up and play a few survivor games.
Personally when I used to play a lot of killer I got quite caught up in this game's us vs them mentality and it made games less and less enjoyable. I didn't usually DC but game's became quite stressful since I would want to "win" and beat those cocky survivors. However I took a step back and realized this game really isn't worth the stress and now 95% of the time I just play survivor. It's A LOT less stressful. You don't have to think constantly, you have downtime to chill on gens and even have time for a little bit of goofing around if you're lucky.
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If survivors are stomping you then just afk at a gate and wait for the next game. It happens to all killers at some point. There are a lot of survivors who play just to bully the killer and it's sad.
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I was kinda the same when I started, was new to PvP games so was a rough intro (yes I've heard about modern warfare lobbies etc etc)
I don't really have much specific advice, what worked for me like others have said is taking the game less seriously, obviously how to actually get to that point is the more difficult topic.
With killer specifically it was running stupid builds, or no perks, or even deliberately sabotaging myself before the match started, or a combination of these - I mean like old bubba no perks speed limiter with a haddonfield offering. Losing is fine because it's obviously expected. Winning is an ego boost, angry survivors stacked out with meta perks is plain hilarious.
With survivor I usually got less tilted but with both sides the other thing that helped is when you run into someone who's an actual dick, like who's playing in a specific way that's obviously just supposed to piss you off and has no tactical value, just to be nice to them. Obnoxiously nice. Not sarcasm because that's still them getting what they want. If someone lets me bleed out or facecamps me hitting me on hook the entire time I tell them gg :) , if someone tells me I'm bad I'll say something along the lines of "lol true" and wish them luck in their next match. It annoys them much more than firing back insults does I promise.
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If you are disconnecting that much then the game must be provoking a very strong emotional response at times.
my advice would be… mindfulness I think idk. But basically come to terms with what makes you so angry about what can happen in this game and what it means for you when it happens. Because truthfully this game is basically a competitive online horror movie sandbox. Those people exist in the world. This game is just another form of online communication.
And also don’t take this game so seriously. It is not a fair game, and it never will be, it’s asymmetrical, that’s the point of it. Take a breather in game you need to, take those few seconds if you need to. I’m assuming you play this game to have fun right? So letting it be a source of anger and misery completely defeats the point of playing.
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You need to take a match and use it to just reset you frame of mind. Don’t worry about pips or points. Just have fun. Bring a meme build! For example:
Grab Nemmy and equip Mad Grit, Agitation, Iron Grip, and Infectious Fright. Now load in, down someone, and go on a face-smashing punching spree!
That’s it! There is no “win” or “lose”. Don’t bother using your power - carrying a survivor IS your power!
- It’s hilarious for all players involved
- It’s deeply satisfying to be at the helm of the fists of fury
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Chug half a bottle of water
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I'll go ahead and recycle this, since it's the same answer to the same question.
As someone who used to play games in a perpetual state of rage-- you have to learn how to care less about winning or losing.
Always being miserable when you lose is exhausting.
And really, we play games for fun.
Who cares if you lose? It doesn't say anything about you as a person, or a player.
Find the humor in everything. There's always something good to laugh about, even in the worst games.
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Play a horror game that isn't stressful. When I'm in the mood and I'm sick of DBD, I'll play a little L4D2 or raid mode in RE Revelations 2.
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Take a break a long break and play other stuff. I am usually a quite chill and docile person but this game Sea of Thieves turned me into a rage filled a-hole. So I took a year long break from bn it and played other stuff. Now I am able to go back and play without getting mad.
Maybe you just need to play other games to remind you gaming is a recreation and fun activity.
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What?
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I feel your pain though, I have been playing this game on and off since 2017 and I only have 1600 hours in the game (which is around 2 months of playtime) which just made it easier not to care about this game, for me. I do enjoy throwing hatchets at people though, that's a fun thing to do when you're mad just stand out in the open and they'll let you do it
Post edited by Rizzo on0 -
I'm sorry you feel this way when playing the game.
I don't think you want to hear this, but maybe this game is not exactly for you then. If you got a 7 day matchmaking ban because of anger, that's not healthy.
Other advise, if you really want to continue with the game, is to stop when you feel your anger rise. Just go afk for the rest of the round to avoid the penalty and then just quit for the day,
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Change what you consider a win. Killer or Survivor if you black pip, or pip then consider that a win. If you have fun in that match then consider that a win regardless of the outcome. Create new game goals, like save as many survivors from being hook as possible with sabotaging, or win the game as killer by slugging and design a build around that. Close chat, or change your responses to chat. Taunt toxic players, and get fun out of pissing them off more. If you feel like you lost laugh with the other players, don't let them laugh at you.
If you take this game seriously you're going to have a bad time. If you focus on the sweaty players trying to make the by definition unbalanced game into a competitive game, you're going to have a bad time.
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I know you said switching games isn't really an option, but I used to be kinda adicted to this game for bit until played Phasmaphobia and a couple of single player games. the best I can recommend for this is just force yourself to play something else.
most people you'll play against are random (same for any game really). anything someone say's to you isn't personal. they will just try to say random ######### to under your skin. once you start to notice how hollow and empty their comments are the easier it will be to shrug it off.
everything in this game is RNG, your opponents, your team mates, maps, pallet distribution, hook distribution, strong window loops, the server performance, your hits connecting. sometimes more often than not the game just won't be in your favor and you'll lose more than half of your match's. above everything else this game is not serious it is at it's best a Horror themed Party Game.
This also has no real win/lose state it's really more about personal victory's like finishing a ritual/archive, maxing out on bp, getting a meme build to work, preforming better than your last match, or even getting that one kill that all the other survivors tried so desperately from letting you have but you got it any way and you deserved it.
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I'm very calm person but even i get angry sometimes and u know i figured out that i can't get mad if i start thinking. Like thinking counters anger. Also when u understand things happening are only temporary, there's nothing to be mad about cause it's like * Either i can do something about it or just let it go if not* For me it's just not worth focusing on something i don't like.
I hope it helps u in some way.
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Do as the devs say, go play something else lol. I did the last time I got tired of this game and didn't come back to it for over a year.
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Taking breaks can help quite a bit. It's also good to just find a different game to go to when you feel that way, something calming maybe. I've found Stardew Valley really helps take my mind off of particularly nasty matches.
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I just meme around. It's really fun and keeps me from getting frustrated. Unless it's a Deathslinger. As soon as I hear either his Terror Radius or him shooting, I lose my ######### lmao
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I realized I'm too old to get mad about Videogames. I'm not trying to condescend at you here. Like think about it, We have so little time on this Earth. Why spend your leisure time being livid? It makes no sense. Also being calm helps you play better.
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Yes, play survivor. Then you too can become the power role :)
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It was already mentioned sorta, but different goals make a whole world's of difference. I get frustrated alot throughout the years in the game, but everytime I notice it starting to affect my judgement or my actions in-game, I take a step back and switch to a different goal.
I reflect on what made me so frustrated (it's usually an unrealistic goal I had set for myself, often without noticing) and switch to a really easy goal. Recently, I've had a goal with Killer where I go for either 4 BBQ stacks or 1 dead Survivor. And it honestly feels like a switch flipped in my head and made my playstyle change. I always play with whatever perks I feel like, so forcing a 3-4k goal, even if unintentionally, makes me feel so bad. Easier goals doesn't mean you're belittleing your ability to perform in the game. It's to make you feel more relaxed.
When you're relaxed, you tend to play better and usually outperform your very simple and easy goal.
And what if you don't even reach that goal? There's the next game waiting somewhere in the future. It isn't the end of the world. This game has a way of sometimes making sure you lose through a combination of player input and RNG, but realizing that makes dealing with losing easier. You can always make even sillier or easier goals for yourself. Again, easier goals don't mean you don't improve in the game, you seriously do.
As a side bonus, when you're relaxed or have obtained your goal early on in a match, you notice those players harrassing you don't really matter anymore. It's a nice feeling!
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I can't speak for OP, but from personal experience it mostly just comes from having a source of entertainment feel tainted by something out of your control.
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You switch off your pc and you either go to the gym, meet a friend/gf, watch some netflix or yt, go out for a walk etc.
This game's not worth your frustration
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I think part of the problem might be that you're waiting until your feelings have fully ramped up into rage before you decide to write the match off and stop playing. At that point, going AFK or walking to the other side of the map to avoid the survivors doesn't feel like enough because you're so angry.
My advice, which is going to sound counter-intuitive, is to walk away before you feel like you want to go berserk. Try to learn what your tipping point is by experimenting with walking away at earlier points -- e.g., as soon as you feel annoyed, or after you've been annoyed for the past full minute, etc -- to see if that allows you to calm down or if you just keep getting angry. If you just keep getting angry even after you've walked away from the survivors, you probably waited too long, so try earlier next time.
Once you learn where the safe zone is where you can still walk away and hold your temper, do that. Keep walking away before you hit the tipping point where you spiral into rage. You already have the right idea by trying to remove yourself from the situation by DCing -- this technique is just about removing yourself from the situation without getting penalized or continuing to ramp up once you've walked away. If you succeed in doing this for a while, it might also give you more confidence about your ability to manage how you're interacting with the game, and you may feel more resilient and less like your emotions are getting jerked around by what other people do.
I get mad about this game, too. Good luck.
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You need to try other games. I get what you mean by not enjoying other games because DBD can be genuinely addictive, but if you give yourself time away from it and try other games, you will gradually stop wanting to play DBD and begin enjoying other games. Try some single player experiences, there are so many incredible story driven games out there right now.
Red Dead Redemption 2, Horizon Zero Dawn, Ghost of Tsushima, God of War, GTA5, Persona 5 Royal (and Strikers), Fire Emblem: Three Houses, Zelda Breath of the Wild, Dark Souls, Demons’s Souls, Sekiro, Nioh 1 & 2, Spider-Man, The Witcher 3, Assassin’s Creed Odyssey, Monster Hunter World, Borderlands 3, Pokemon, Cyberpunk 2077, etc. etc. etc. the list goes on and on. Try them, try others.
They are much less frustrating than multiplayer games but still fun and satisfying. The longer you go without playing DBD, the less of a hold it will have on you and the more you can enjoy other games. I often take months and months away from this game because it is so frustrating and I truly recommend you do the same.
I’m not saying never play DBD again but if you find you’re frustrated more often than you’re having fun, step back for awhile. Like I said I do this all the time and the game feels a lot more fun when I come back to it after months away. I don’t have the same built up anger or resentment over unfair things anymore because it’s been 6 months or whatever. If it starts annoying me again, I take another break, maybe a month or two, etc. And I’ve enjoyed so many amazing games in the meantime.
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Well the Killer can only do what they are supposed to do, they are supposed to bring about my demise.
How can I be mad about something that will happen no matter what?
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This is one of the reasons why many players start to erase. They concentrate too much on winning in the form of kills or escapes. But many forget that kills or escapes are not the only way to win.
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I suggest you try meditation while you wait for your penalty to drop it may sound boring but remember watching a clock makes it tick slower or so they say.
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What really helps me, is using the several minutes it takes to find a lobby to watch funny meme videos.
If you go into the match already laughing and smiling, it's a lot harder to get angry at what happens in-game.
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You need a mindset change, survivor's should not be triggering you. There is nothing to be mad about. It is just a game that you are playing for fun. If you accept that as the truth, it really is that simple.
Think about what is frustrating you, genuinely think about it and ask yourself "why?" I bet you cannot find a good answer. Once you establish that, all you will need to do is remind yourself whenever you feel compelled to disconnect and keep playing the game out.
It will never be easy, but that self awareness is the key to preventing that undesirable behavior. You need to check yourself before you wreck yourself, like, literally. If this is the only game you enjoy playing, losing access to it just because some survivor with less style and grace than Funky Kong disrespected you, who is winning, really? If anything, I urge you to stop just to prevent their satisfaction. They get off on it, bro.
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I used to have the same issue. But no longer. I've changed my outlook as follows.
Rule 1 - games should be about joy and fun. If you aren't having fun with it, turn it off and do something else. Consider quitting entirely if it gets to be too much (I'm looking at you World of Tanks and Warships. Love those games... but I recognize they constantly put me in a bad headspace and removed them from my life)
Rule 2 - Stop being concerned with how other people play. Don't take what other players do to beat or frustrate you as an attempt to enrage you, but as just a means to keep ahead. Understand you can't change how they play, only how you react to it.
Rule 3 - If at anytime you reach for the disconnect button, you may do so only one time.... and that's to quit the game for the night. If you are reaching for it but not hitting the button, use that as a moment to consider your mental health state and recall rule number 1
Rule 4 - Diversity your library and play several different games. We're lucky to be in an age where we have plenty of choice when it comes to games - make use of it.
Rule 5 - Keep one game that brings you joy no matter how mad you are installed and ready at all times to refresh your love of the medium AND put you in a good headspace. Believe it or not, this cold-hearted killer will return to something as dumb as Slime Rancher to mellow myself out (hard to be mad with a bunch of bouncing and happy slimes around you)
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this actually kind of worked, i know this is a very old post but now i don't get angry anymore.
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yaaaaaaaay we love to see progress 👍️
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I look at it as if I'm playing a 1 dollar scratch off ticket. Im scratching it having fun. If I don't win I look at it and go meh oh well. I toss it in the trash and move on
If I win 2 bucks, I'm like cool. I won 2 dollars. Nice. And move on. This game is too random. There is no way your going to win everytime. No matter the side you play.
Just do what you can. If the survivors are BMing you or the killer Is hitting you on hook etc just try to not let it get to you.
It's hard, but with time and effort it can work. Good luck my friend.
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You could always just uninstall the game and never look back. Everyone I used to play with did that over a year ago mostly due to boredom but also other things as well.
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Whilst reading the thread I was first impressed with how necroed this post was, but then I read this particular comment and will say it's really good to hear you've managed to get over that anger you felt back in 2021. I'm also hoping your general experience of the game is more positive towards you too.
Really great to see people working on themselves and reaping the well-deserved benefits from it. It's far from easy to do. Props 👍
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Good for you! This made me really happy, hope you’re doing well.
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Edited, as this was a necro post, my bad for not seeing the date.
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That’s awesome.
Games are meant to be fun if you can’t find the fun here then you gotta find something else that’s fun.
Hope you keep finding the fun.
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I could write some tips but I don't know enough about you for them to be any useful. The short answer is, expectations can have a massive impact on the way we react to situations. What are your expectations of the match, yourself, and other players, before you start your match?
On a sort of related note, I would absolutely love some way to leave the match once the EGC starts but keeping all your BPs as killer. It would end the game but let all survivors that aren't dead get an escape.
Some ways would be to let the killer simply DC without penalty. Another is that they interact with the exit zone inside the exit gate to simply walk out of the trial. While it would be funny, it could also be kind of frustrating if survs are also at the gate and you didn't have a fun match.
The way I've always imagined is that the killer could interact with some killer exclusive glyph or invocation in basement to instantly end the trial. The last one is probably best imo, kind of reinforcing the basement as the killers territory.
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Stop playing, simple as that.
If you are getting angry and bent out of shape over a game it is time to stop playing and take a break.
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I've wondered why this game is so rage inducing at times. Are we, as a community, a bunch of emotionally stunted children?
Nah. Like LoL and OW, I think this game has no dopamine to dispense to you if you are being crushed.
Like, imagine you whiff all your hits. Your m1s smack dropped pallets. You eat pallets. Survivors hold w forever. Can't hook anybody. No time to make a cool play etc. Etc. Games lost but you still have to keep going.
This games fun tends to be zero sum. Your enjoyment spawns from somebody else's misery....sometimes.
That's my crackpot theory. You even see dbd content creators get stressed over silly things. Like the other day Otz went on about pesky survivors use Bushes on Dead Dawg to avoid killers. You know, one of the most killer sided maps in the game with 0 counterclaim against killers like Nurse because the loops kinda stuck outside Main Build. Not saying the guy has bad opinions, just that this game naturally makes people lash out because it's sometimes the only catharsis you will receive. Many situations in dbd you feel like you have no agency.
I don't find Dbd ad bad as LOL though. I had to quit LOL because I was starting to exhibit physical symptoms of stress. At least solo survivor you can enjoy the sky box of Toba Landing and just let your team die.
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