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Just A Small Reminder

Mekochi
Mekochi Member Posts: 942

Hey, just a teeny reminder for my friends, foes, and people whom I've never met. Let's put the 'us vs. them' aside for a moment and have a talk.

If the game is affecting you to the point where your mental health feels like it's draining. Take a break from the game if you can. For me, I stopped playing DBD as much when I got my Oculus and honestly, it's been refreshing. I got to work on my anger issues, met some new people, ect.

For those who have invested a lot of time and effort into the game, or even money into the game, you don't have to abandon the game completely, just take a long enough break for you to breathe.

I believe in you, go draw, read a book, or even play a different game that is relaxing like Stardew Valley. You got this, keep on pushing through.

Comments

  • Belzher
    Belzher Member Posts: 469

    I say this to every League player friend I have and they keep playing it, which makes me sad for them.

  • tippy2k2
    tippy2k2 Member Posts: 5,206

    Unfortunately I'm not nearly that smart :D

    ...

    ...

    ...

    D:

  • ThiccBudhha
    ThiccBudhha Member Posts: 6,987

    I more or less agree, but I really do not see how a party game could have that effect on anyone. This is more relevant for competitive games with "stakes."

  • Mekochi
    Mekochi Member Posts: 942

    Yeah, it's really sad, games like League can DBD are like drugs in a way. People grow addictions to them after consuming the content for such a long time, or even a small amount of time if they've already put a lot of money into. At first I thought I would never be able to take a break from DBD because I already spent way too much money on the game for DLCs and a couple cosmetics.

    But as soon as I realized I wasn't playing it as much, it felt refreshing.

  • Mekochi
    Mekochi Member Posts: 942

    You'd be surprised, I've heard people for mic crying and/or screaming after a loss.

  • Mekochi
    Mekochi Member Posts: 942

    I'm sorry :(

    But think to yourself what's more important to you, a game that can cause you stress and the feeling of helplessness, or a couple extra bloodpoints. This game has things that keeps us coming back which causes it to be an addiction, fight past it, I believe in you!

  • ThiccBudhha
    ThiccBudhha Member Posts: 6,987

    It is not THAT surprising given the messages I receive post game. But I still just cannot get into the mindset. I play competitive games relatively casual myself, but I can observe what causes it and whatnot. I actually did an academic paper on it as well with a lot of research to the point where I am even MORE confused why this effect persists with DBD.


    Obviously the only explanation is that the player itself perceives it to be competitive. But where I am lost is: HOW? With all the RNG, I just... I have said it before, and I will say it again, I have had a more balanced experience playing Mario Party. The things that happen in this game are more likely to put me into a fit of laughter as opposed to rage.

  • tippy2k2
    tippy2k2 Member Posts: 5,206

    Easy, I'm competitive by nature and the thing that frustrates me the most in games is feeling like my skill level didn't matter (the deck was stacked against me too much so I was screwed no matter what).

    Fair or not, this game is the damn definition of "sucks to be you" where there are times your skill didn't matter and you got screwed. It also doesn't help how many just ######### peeps gravitate towards this game and take every opportunity to rub it in your face how you got screwed and it's easy to see why people get frustrated playing it.

    I'm happy for you if you are fine and don't get emotional when these things pop up but some of us like me are dum and let this ish get to us far more than it should :D

    Believe me, if I could just flip a switch and not care, I'd do it in a damn heartbeat.

    ...I should quit this game :D

  • Mekochi
    Mekochi Member Posts: 942

    No, same, I used to have Mario party for the ds, and it was way more balanced than DBD, I think the reasoning people have higher expectations for dead by daylight is because a lot of people put a lot of money into this game whether it be for DLCs or even cosmetics. They want a game that they put their hard earned money into for it to actually work, and when that game doesn't work it feels like a waste of money for probably the upwards of hundreds of dollars that they spent.

    The people that don't spend money on the game probably already had some mental health issues prior or even anger issues prior, which is why they probably use video games as an escape and when every game feels frustrating cuz it feels like the opposing side is mocking you, it's difficult.

  • Mekochi
    Mekochi Member Posts: 942

    Well, my suggestion could be to try and Branch out to others things but make sure you take baby steps, because if you just do it all in one fail swoop it's not going to work as intended, and you're going to end up gravitating right back towards the thing that was causing you pain.

    Just take baby steps, explore your options, and once you find an alternative that you can jump to anytime the going is getting tough, there you go!

  • tippy2k2
    tippy2k2 Member Posts: 5,206

    I've gotten better about it and play other games now (especially when this game gets irksome). I used to play this for hours at a time, now I play one to two games at a time before stepping away.

  • ThiccBudhha
    ThiccBudhha Member Posts: 6,987

    I did not mean it as an insult. I personally feel really bad about some of it because I do not feel people should be put down over this. It makes me really mad when I see streamers making fun of people or sending people over to harass players because they were tilted by the game itself and attribute that to the other player, or as you said, the players who deliberately use the game as a tool for their toxicity.


    It is not as though I have a switch that I can just turn off. It took me a bit of practice and a pinch of narcissism. Part of it is trying to recognize what the issue is. Sometimes it is map or game mechanics, other times it is that the other player is really good, and at times, I am the one messing up.


    I feel sometimes people do not make that distinction and always feel it is their fault. Or always blame the game. Or always get mad at their opponent. There is a lot of nuance to it as well. Which can often make it difficult to self reflect in the heat of the moment when you are busy trying to play.


    The weird kicker is once the match is over, and there are no distractions, people tend to latch onto those frustrations without revisiting them. That is not healthy per se, but if it ended there, it would probably be for the better as they feel a compulsion to drag others down with them. Blame their teammates, berate the killer, have a fit with their keyboard. Whatever the case, they make their venting public and contributes to the cesspool.


    I digress, I am really surprised to hear you struggle with this Tippy. I have always considered you to be a beacon of positivity and perhaps the most kind member of the community. If it reaches you... I guess it could happen to anyone.

  • Mekochi
    Mekochi Member Posts: 942

    But you don't have to abandon the game completely, just take a step back for a bit. By taking a step back for a bit, you don't have to deal with frustrating players every single second, and then you can come back and when you start feeling yourself getting worked up again, just walk away again.

    If you keep submerging yourself in this frustrating gameplay that is causing you anger, then it's just going to cause you to hate the game eventually, and when in it be better to just take a step back for a bit and then come back to playing a game that you enjoy.

  • Tostapane
    Tostapane Member Posts: 1,664

    Or play bubba basement defender... Jokes aside i did that too cause the game isn't fun anymore (I found boring keep pressing m1 on gen for 80 seconds as survivor and as killer I'm aganist tryharders who use the best offering/perks/items in every single match as killer... While I'm playing weak killers with meme addons)... Until they'll start to fix the major game's issues, I won't probably come back

  • tippy2k2
    tippy2k2 Member Posts: 5,206
    edited May 2022

    Some of it is a ME problem too. Like, I've always had a bit of an anger issue (or maybe frustration issue is a better word for it).

    My hair trigger also got...hairier as I've been dealing with physical problems too (so again, that's a me problem, not the game). The game might press on my trigger but ultimately it is still MY trigger.

    The game is just, whether on purpose or on accident, has designs setup to push those frustration buttons.

    You are correct that it's something that needs to be worked on by people, myself included and I am genuinely glad that you can just roll with the punches when the game takes a swing. I had gotten a lot better about it but it took a lot of work and whatnot and it's still not quite there. I honestly do wish I could just...stop doing that but it's a struggle.

    (Also just to be clear, I don't think you were being insulting, I just wanted to tell my story to kind of help demonstrate why people might get frustrated with the game).

    Honestly, I do feel like people like myself really probably shouldn't be playing a game like DBD but I always trick myself into thinking that NEXT time I won't get so angry and frustrated over something so silly...until I do.

    It's a constant battle that unfortunately I do lose from time to time (sorry keyboards, and controllers, and desks, and door, and...).

    I try to be extra positive on the forum BECAUSE I know firsthand how awful you can feel when you've broken yet another damn keyboard out of frustration. It sucks and I hate that I'm like this so I probably try a bit too hard here to be nice :)

  • FilthyLegionMain
    FilthyLegionMain Member Posts: 1,148

    It's the one online game I have that supports my bad internet. (i.e. not boot me out when my internet cuts for a couple seconds.) Tried slime rancher and it was nice but as soon as I came back, so did the bad feelings.

  • Mekochi
    Mekochi Member Posts: 942

    Tbh, a lot of people ended up leaving because of poor balancing, or just some questionable to decisions the devs made. A notable one being Orion, Orion said he was leaving, and he did, not once checking in on the forum. Even the people who didn't get along with him respected him. That was just because the NFT situation, there were other players that left as well during that.

    But with buggy gameplay that sometimes makes the game unplayable on both sides, for example someone unhooking another player causing a lag spike, or Nemesis being broken right now cuz people can't use his tentacle, it's all just issues like this that make the game difficult.

    I still enjoy playing the game, but I can't enjoy it like I used to because of these issues, but the core reason I left was because the game is what gave me my anger issues in the first place, I've been playing since 2019 and oh boy, it's been a rollercoaster.

  • Shaped
    Shaped Member Posts: 5,886

    If I couldn't take breaks I would never play this game or any other. Breaks are good and it helps me enjoy the game more.

  • Mekochi
    Mekochi Member Posts: 942

    I'm sorry, have you tried giving Stardew Valley a try, it's a fun game with relaxing music and the creator is even working on another game called Haunted Chocolatier. I don't know how long your first break was, but try taking a longer break this time, and maybe limit the amount that you're playing DBD.

    Ex; Have a backup game, play a couple matches of DBD, and then switch to your backup. Or even watch a movie like movies you enjoyed from your childhood

  • Mekochi
    Mekochi Member Posts: 942

    I'm glad ^^ what games are activities do you do during your breaks, because I would love to give it a shot as well!

  • Shaped
    Shaped Member Posts: 5,886
    edited May 2022

    Playing pve co-op games with friends from time to time can be great for example because there is no pressure and toxicity. Unless your friends are "pleasant". But you just ditch those lol.

    Regarding other activities, just do what you love. Kinda different for everyone.

  • Mekochi
    Mekochi Member Posts: 942

    Thanks, I'm sure other people might be able to break away from the cycle, because yes DBD can be fun at times, but a lot of the time, it's frustrating.

    So hopefully other people learn that taking a break from the game isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just knowing your boundaries ^^

  • HexDaddyissues
    HexDaddyissues Member Posts: 328

    i was sent this game over lockdown by a friend who lived two states over so he, my military buddy and i could all play while 1000s of miles away.

    Military buddy is over seas, i got a new position at a childrens hospital (busy busy busy) and other friend is married, currently on honeymoon. I havent played in what feels like months.

    i never really got all that upset at the game in and of itself, but scrolling through the forums on my down time, THIS is where the mental health takes a dive. Its alllll vitriol, toxicity and just plain immaturity on this forum. I could count on one hand the number of positive comments, threads or topics ive seen.

    once i pick the game back up, im ditching the forum. For those of you thinking a break won't do any good, start with a break from the forum and watch how much better you feel.

  • Shaped
    Shaped Member Posts: 5,886

    Yeah but there is one thing I noticed. While me and you are different, some people stick with the same game for years without breaks, and are very commited.

    I am a type of person who gets bored with most games and move on to others. Dbd is one of the exceptions for some reason but I would go crazy if I played it every day for years. Or any other game for that matter. I like variety.


    I don't think they can just change who they are but if you stick with something that affects you in a negative way and you can't stop, it hurts you.

    I wish everyone could just do what they enjoy instead if video games are their hobby and not a job.

  • FilthyLegionMain
    FilthyLegionMain Member Posts: 1,148

    I appreciate the effort. I had DMC5, Left 4 Dead 2 and Dying Light 2 as my other games. I'll enjoy dbd more once the bots in custom feature comes in the winter. I don't like... people.

  • Mekochi
    Mekochi Member Posts: 942

    Well I wish you luck, you're awesome, and be sure not to stress yourself to much ^^