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Being nicer to people

can we please start being nicer to everyone.

its shocking how many people win a game just to turn around and give out to someone who loses.

it doesnt really matter how the other side plays the game, there's no need to ruin someones day for your perceived notion that whatever they did was a personal slight against you.

this isnt a post calling people out, if we want this community to be better everyone needs to try a little bit.

it costs nothing to be nice to people, usually it takes you just saying nothing at al.

Comments

  • SpitefulHateful
    SpitefulHateful Member Posts: 311

    People will never get nicer. Humanity hasn't improved at all and is heading towards its self-destruction, so when people are given tools to humiliate their opponents and make them miserable, they will.

  • Marc_go_solo
    Marc_go_solo Member Posts: 5,326

    Firstly, I agree with the sentiment. There are sadly people out there who are too immature for this game; who have an unhealthy need to voice their discontent over any insignificant thing.

    What I'm happy to say is I come across more people who are nice than not. Likewise, I'll only ever message someone with a compliment. Even if I am annoyed at the end of a trial (which there isn't anything wrong with), I just take a few steps back, breathe and carry on. I feel a decent reason for the toxicity pandemic being reported is down to people remembering negative interactions moreso than positive. Negative bias, I think it's called.

    What some need to understand is that when they message someone to ######### and moan, they are always going to lose. If someone who lost tries to berate the winner, the winner will always come out on top because of the result. If someone messages another whom they beat just to gloat, they show themselves as both weird, and a loser in something far more important that a video game - life.

  • HerInfernalMajesty
    HerInfernalMajesty Member Posts: 1,838

    Yes, of course. Always 🕊️

  • SpitefulHateful
    SpitefulHateful Member Posts: 311

    Performative statements on social platforms don't count as lending a hand to others. If that was truly happening, we'd be seeing an entirely different world now. However, what we see is that good people are a dying and irrelevant breed.

  • GentlemanFridge
    GentlemanFridge Member Posts: 5,709
    edited September 22

    Who said anything about performative statements? I don't mean twitter. I mean actual, offline people. It really wasn't all that difficult to find dozens upon dozens of organisations with tens of thousands of members each that are making a real, tangible difference for people, animals, and environments on the whole across the globe.

    I myself am volunteering for a charity bookstore which makes multiple donations of over 1000 euros to various organisations, both local and further away, on a monthly basis. Well over half of all of the people I work with are also active elsewhere, be it for homes for the elderly, troubled youth centers, immigration aid, just to name a few.

    Those people aren't going to be on social media. Not a single one of them barring me even has a twitter account, and I've recently deactivated mine as well. Of course they're not gonna make any performative statements, they simply don't need to, don't care to, and usually don't even have the time to. Which in turn means that you won't find them if you only look on social media.

    If you want some "good news" sources, I can recommend the following

    Good Good Good | Good News & Hopeful Progress

    I fully concede the name is cheesy as all get out, but it's a very nice way to remind yourself that no, not everything is terrible.

    No, we don't live in a utopia. Not a single soul is claiming that, either. No, not everything is going well. But to ignore everything that we are doing right is frankly equally as ignorant as saying everything is peachy. Imagine how deep we'd have fallen if we didn't fight social injustices? if we didn't rally now to battle climate change as well as we can?

    Imagine how much ######### we'd be in if we never fixed the ozone layer, for example? Yet we have. Or at least, the ozone layer is set to fully restore itself around the 2060's. We, as humanity, did that.

  • TieBreaker
    TieBreaker Member Posts: 982

    It's necessary to have thick skin. There will always be awful people, and you need to be able to withstand the crap they will throw at you. That's doesn't mean anyone should accept abuse though.

  • hermitkermit
    hermitkermit Member Posts: 427

    Accurate username. Jk jk but in all seriousness this outlook doesn’t sound very healthy. It’s very easy to get stuck in tunnel vision about certain aspects of life. I have no idea what you’ve been through and I won’t pretend to know. But while I didn’t experience the specific pain you’ve endured I’ve experienced pain myself and I know what pain is like. I empathize heavily, and it’s important to remind yourself that there is plenty of good. “If you do it right nobody notices. If you do it wrong nobody forgets.” Good things happen constantly but because they don’t affect us as strongly as negative things we usually don’t notice. We tend to hold onto most of the bad because we don’t want to get hurt again. I’ve been trying to focus on the good just as much as the bad because it is possible, and can really help change a mentality. I’m not sure what’s happened to make you feel such a way as you do, but if you’re ever wanting to talk feel free to DM. I’m sorry you feel this way. I really hope things get better for you.

  • Kerkvlerk
    Kerkvlerk Member Posts: 94

    While i try to be nice to people i also wonder how certain people play or que…

    I took a break for a few weeks only to que back into the first few matches as solo survivor and this is how they went:

    Game 1: 2 people standing still after loading in never moved and let the killer kill them. (Took 2 minutes match was over)
    Game 2: A nurse throwing midwich as offering. 2 people give up instantly by running to the killer because its a nurse (you can try atleast)
    Game 3: 2 people farming eachother on hook throwing the match after about 1 maybe 2 minutes.
    Game 4: Again 2 people trolling not doing or atleast trying to do objectives getting themselved killed in the first 2 minutes of the game.
    Game 5: A huntress downed someone stood 16 meters away and just camped the person and hard tunneled.

    After that i gave up and turned off the game.

    I turned off the game because i really was starting to get annoyed and dont want to say bad stuff about players. At some point you can't be mad at them because they can play how they want. But these type of players should be filtered out and get there own bot lobby's….

  • Crowman
    Crowman Member Posts: 9,517

    I can tell you that players have only gotten more toxic over time and BHVR appears to be going very little to tackle toxicity. It would be nice if people weren't toxic to each other, but it's more likely to get worse.

  • radiantHero23
    radiantHero23 Member Posts: 4,228

    Don't get me wrong, I do think people should have thick skin.

    This does not excuse the stuff that happens in dbd though.