New chapter "Life and Death"

EvSummAlice
EvSummAlice Member Posts: 9
edited April 2019 in Creations

New survivor: Tanya Peerson

Bio: Tanya spent years working as psychiatrist in Crotus Prenn's department for suicidals. She helped many people dealing with any kind of depression and life problems. But she got difficulties with girl called Alice Vasilevtseva who emigrate with her family from Eastern Europe. One morning she came to work and found Alice trying to strangle herself with a blanket and stopped her. That how friendship began. When Crotus Prenn was closed after nurse's massacre she became Fitness Coach. But her psychiatrist job wasn't over. Alice surprised everyone by commiting suicide and she tried to help her parents. Alice's mother gone crazy and was put into asylum, her grandparents died by insult and father were only who stayed more less strong. Tanya decided to go to Alice's funeral but noone seen her after this moment.

Perks: Take your meds: You can't leave someone in need. unhanging survivor gives you a token. Token can be spent for insta-heal.

Don't touch me: Years of training paying off. Increases movement speed for 50% after getting hit. Causes exhausted status effect. Perk won't work if survivor dying.

Healing aura: You helping by being near. Wounded survivors getting heal with 25% of base speed and dying survivors can stand without help if they stay 5/7/10 meters away from you.

New killer: Suicidal

Ability: Spirit of hopelesness

The infected blood from wound flowing to the finger tips and she hit survivors with sharp nails making them hopeless. Infected survivors stabbing themselves every 30 seconds making them wounded and then dying. Hopelessness can't be cured w/out medkit or syringe of antidote (can be found on the ground or in chests but can't be picked if survivor isn't infected). Dying survivors losing hopelessness.

hooks are becoming ropes. have memento mori where she cutting victims veins. Medium tall. Terror radius 28 meters

Description: Alice was common teen who's arguing with parents and listening to all kind of metal. With time she's more and more depressed and negative emotions were inbound. Her first suicide attempt wasn't succsessful and she's put in Crotus Prenn but there were no meds to cure her disease. She even tried once more while nurses were passing by her doorless room but was stopped by other patients. She decided that the best way to get out of asylum is pretend as cured and happy and it was the success. A year later, when her parents became little relaxed she tried the third timediseaseforced this time no-one stopped her from veincutting in a bathtub. Then she woked up in a strange place and cry by being alive. Deep voice tell her that it need human body as sacrifice. Alice offered herself but stranger have other plans for her.

Perks:

Hex: Incomprehensible Pain: if survivor failing reaction test 15/25/35 meters away from killer it get hit

Suicide Silence: change terror radius to 0 if 2 or more survivors repairing the generator in 20/40/60 meters away

Young Blood: the blood marks glowing. revealing wounded survivors in 15/20/30 meters away

Add-ons

Old green nail file: Used for years green nail file. Target hitted by nails bleeding for 15 seconds

Yellow nail file: Bit used nail file. Target hitted by nails bleeding for 30 seconds

Red nail file: Factory new! Target hitted by nails bleeding for 45 seconds

Green nail polish: Contain drop of infected blood. Time needed for suicidal stab decreasing to 25 seconds

Yellow nail polish: Contain some infected blood. Time needed for suicidal stab decreasing to 23 seconds

Red nail polish: Made of suicidal's own vein blood. Time needed for suicidal stab decreasing to 20 seconds

Iridescent nail polish: The gift from Entity. Hitted with nails survivor will be dying

Old expander: Not so elastic now. Increasing arm swinging speed on 10%

New expander: Increasing arm swinging speed on 20%

Rusty blade: First Alice's knife which were hidden by Alice's parents after her first attempt. Hit target Suffers considerably from the mangled status effect for 60 seconds.

Wavy blade: Made for meat. Hit target suffers considerably from the mangled status effect for 120 seconds. Moderatly decreases the repair speed of survivors injured with knife.

Cursed blade: The knife that taken Alice's life away. Hit target reducing time needed for suicidal stab for 5 seconds.

Theme music:


Post edited by EvSummAlice on

Comments

  • Kong998
    Kong998 Member Posts: 1

    overall idea... not great

    Before I even have the chance to properly digest the story, i'm just being bombarded by some horrific spelling and grammatical mistakes: "Alice was crazy girl, she's got mental disease which forced her to commit suicide by veincutting in bathtub." do you not see the problem with this?


    We already have killers in the game that enjoy the suffering of others, there is no need to go full edge lord and have a killer that makes people kill themselves.


    Onto the actual review of what you created.


    You haven't explained how this killer will "infect" the survivors.


    The thing about making then stab themselves; how does this work? how long will it take to happen? will there be a warning where you can try and stop it from happening? does there need to be a certain level of "infected"?


    The story; pretty awful. Doesn't actually tell us anything about the character. Doesn't give us her motivations. No substance.


    Now onto perks

    First of all, whats up with the names? "Inunderstandable Pain" "suicide silence" and "young blood" they are all horrific names, they sound like you are trying to be edgy. Also "inunderstandable" isn't a word, the closest thing to it is incomprehensible (it means not understandable).


    The way the perks work if pretty horrific, like you get no terror radius if there are 2 people on a gen within 40 meters. Come the ######### on, you have to realize how bad that sounds. It's the exact same story with the other 2 perks.


    The add-on's make no sense whatsoever, like "target hitted by nails bleeding for 15 seconds". 1st off it's hit not hitted. Second it makes no sense, you haven't explained what bleeding does, what do the nails do?



    My overall thoughts on this where. It's bad but sure whatever idc. Then on the discord you are putting links in there, everyone is telling you it is bad, but you are refusing to listen and telling us to put it on here if we really think it's bad.


    The whole crux of this is that she is some suicidal ######### that killed herself. You haven't used this as a plot device or for any real reason, you used this because you are either lazy or looking for attention. If you are dealing with depression don't spam our discord or boards about it. Go see a doctor or call a helpline (116 123).

  • EvSummAlice
    EvSummAlice Member Posts: 9


    srry m8, my english isn't perfect

    i explained the way of infection... she hit survivor with her nails (m2 ability)... that how it's happening...

    no motivation? m8 pls... i've mentioned in her story that she want to die and ready for everything to get it so she agreed to help entity... about whole story... srry m8, but for now can't make more...

    k... i'll fix this... suicide silence is an easter egg to band with the same name... what 2 horrific about young blood? NOED not 2 spooky for ya?

    if that perk 2 spooky for ya mayb then i should add a 60 sec's cooldown on it?

    just as i said... nails are infecting survivors with hopelessness... bleeding... what sloppy butcher do? well... it's the same but w/out trauma effect...

    i were listen to them... i just asked to repeat it there...

    i used it because it first idea which came to my head... i don't spam bout it 2 much... also for my opinion there's no need to visit or call some1 for me personally..

    hope i make it clear for u now m8...

  • TheNamedStranger
    TheNamedStranger Member Posts: 17

    For what it's worth, not everyone's an A-1 writer, and don't worry about your English, I understood the perk well enough. The only thing I wasn't too clear on, appearances (not insanely important perhaps), and, how does she hit with the nails? Are they thrown? Does she have to switch from her knife to the nails? Just a little unsure is all. Overall, like I said not everyone's the best writer, the story did come off a little cliche and plain, but alas that could be fixed. Thank you for putting your ideas out here for us all to see!

  • rylee
    rylee Member Posts: 2

    No offense but a killer that makes players kill them selves and is op would be too controversial

  • EvSummAlice
    EvSummAlice Member Posts: 9

    appearance... shoulder length dark red hair and sad face mask with tears on it... wearing t-shirt with logo of metal band (Suicide Silence for example)

    she hit with nails like the holden basic attack... she just use her left hand while that when right hand with knife just hide...

    i also think that this music i made few years ago in one of VK apps can be suitable for her as the theme


  • projecteulogy
    projecteulogy Member Posts: 671

    The game would then officially be banned in Russia and other countries because of the subject content.