Thoughts of a Survivor player who would like to play Killer but I'm standing in my own way

From my experiences, 2v8 feels less stressful as killer no matter the actual match outcome just because of the idea of someone else sharing the mental burden. I dont NORMALLY use the DBD discord, but I used it for finding partners for 2v8. They set it up so its fairly easy to get paired with people. So far the experience has been mostly positive and if you DO get someone who's a creep, you can just ditch em and try again.

The community for this game can be demoralizing especially to Killer players, and the stronger the Killer you choose unfortunately the nastier they are if you struggle. I say screw them. You have to play for you, not for anyone else. Keep that endgame chat closed and just try, you never know if you don't try. Start on Wraith, he teaches fundamentals very well.

I enjoy Killer and first got into it because I found a Killer I really connected with, liked, and have tons of fun with. I have always liked stealth games and Scream, so eventually gravitated to Ghostface. Two years later and many other Killers learned under my belt, I still keep coming back to Ghostface because he's just the most fun to me and the one I can do the most damage with. He taught me to love Killer side, and I love him for that. Maybe that's all you need - finding someone you truly enjoy, regardless of strength, and learning them inside and out.

It can be hard. It's really hard if you're like me and enjoy M1s, especially ones not traditionally thought of as strong. I find great joy in figuring out what little things I can do to make such weak kits stronger, I see it as a challenge to best. But then, I like hardcore games, and I admit my mindset isn't for everyone. Just keep practicing and learning from really good players of the Killers you like. That helped me. :)

for 2v8 you could look on the forums for someone to q with you, that way you'll be more familiar with who you're playing with, it is a long shot but could be worth while.

• Play a weak killer so you don’t feel as pressured to win or be good
• Play a simple one that’s not very complex Trapper is the least complex in 2v8
• Do something else while you are waiting for a match, I like to animate in blender

Realistically the more you play the less you’ll be anxious. 2v8 can actually be more stressful because of the comeback mechanic which punishes you for being good at the game. And 8 survivors means gens can fly like crazy. I know plenty of people who can’t or never will play killer because how stressful it is but I don’t know a single person who won’t play survivor for the same reason.

Being outnumbered is always stressful. 2v8 is slightly better since it’s 2 killers but survivors are FAR more toxic in 2v8 and it’s not even close. I played 15 matches the other day and every time all of the survivors would just be sitting at gates tbagging like crazy. I was the only survivor that wasn’t toxic in almost all of my games. Just force yourself to play as many matches as you can and try not to care how they turn out.

In my 20 years of gaming this is easily the most toxic community I have ever been apart of so you should practice getting used to it if you want to play killer lol. Avoid DBD Twitter and Reddit because those places are somehow worse than the actual game. I get regularly attacked and called names for trivial things. For example I made a video saying Houndmaster was bad and needs buffs and I got called all sorts of names because other content creators say she is good.

If you want to warm up killer with no stress, you can queue into a custom game and play against 4 bots to get comfortable. The better you are at a killer, the harder it is to bully you by any conventional means. You can also toss on lightborn, it is an easy counter to half of the stuff people complain about being bullied with.

I think I saw someone else above suggest doing some other simple things you enjoy while waiting for your match. Maybe that can help to distract your mind while you're in the queue :)

I had some bad experiences when I first started playing Killer because I very quickly found myself going up against bully squads without the experience or knowledge to deal with them.

I still have a little bit of locker PTSD from a game on Lery's and a head on bunny Feng duo on Dead Dog that kept jumping out of those two lockers near the gen in the Saloon. In truth, the only way for the frustration and stress to fully fall away is to keep playing Killer.

I'm so unflappable now, it's gotten to the point where Killer is the role I play whenever I want to chill. In any case, here are a few of the things that have helped me to keep my cool:

• Lightborn and Iron Grasp never leave my build. Are there "better" perks to run in most trials? Sure. But these two perks will shutdown almost all of the typical bully squad tactics. There is no body blocking the hook, sabotaging, boil over plays or flashlight saves when you have these perks equipped. Most of the time, I find bully squads / duos to be allergic to doing the gens and will start throwing as soon as they realise they won't be able to torture you indefinitely.
• Never go to the exit gates after a frustrating trial. If they want to do their little victory dance, it doesn't mean you have to come along to watch them.
• Play Killers that you know you'll enjoy, regardless of the outcome of the match. For me, that's the simple joys of vaulting pallets and windows as a speedy Legion, getting curve downs and drifting around the map as Billy, seeing a well placed Trapper trap get value or pulling Survivors off gens as a sneaky Michael. I think it's better to focus more on the little wins and the fun you're having with your Killer powers and less on whether or not you're winning or losing (this is easier said than done if you're a more competitive player, but always worth bearing in mind).
• I keep my chat window permanently closed. I've had some nice interactions with other players in the past, but not enough to fully outweigh the not so nice ones.
• I like to vary my time between Killer and Survivor if I ever find myself becoming frustrated with either role. Playing lots of different Killers in a session helps with this as well.
• Anon mode is your friend.

The main thing is to remember that it will take time to feel comfortable with playing the Killer role. Maybe more time for you than it might do for others and that's OK. So take small steps if you have to. Everyone feels the stress (and maybe some nerves) when they first play Killer.

Anyway, I hope some of this advice will be helpful to you.

P.S. I've also struggled with anxiety for pretty much my whole life, so a lot of what you've experienced is very familiar to me. But over the years I've learned these feelings can be overcome (or at least managed) and at the end of the day, DBD is just a silly video game. It's not so important in the grand scheme of things.

I every so often go back into training mode and let myself lose more by "throwing games" to sharpen my skills. Basically, that would mean I try to win with my power only, not just my perks and addons. I give them a game but I'm not trying very hard, so if they win, cool - free win for them, no pressure while I practice and some extra BP for me. For extra vibes I'll throw on music, so I can't hear much, so there's no real pressure to perform and I KNOW I am handicapped anyway. I actually have playlists for each of my most played Killers, and I use that to kinda just… vibe and practice.

So, if I need to derust as Ghostface, let's say, I would "throw" by trying to go for Stalking and Marking, rather than too many chases. If i lose, I lose. If I win, cool, and then I keep doing this getting better until the games start to improve or I can pretty easily 8hook and chill without feeling stressed. I do this for any Killer I need to get better at or feel like the game is too hard with. It seems to work.

When you play nonsweaty and force yourself to do so, then you not only get better, you get better less sweaty games. Turns out, nice guys DO finish first… eventually.