Why are some people surprised that noone wants to play miserable matches?

Why don't survivors take killer fun into consideration? (actually the edited OP is even more fitting, if I'm honest.)

Its almost like this community lacks empathy, and yet expects it in return.

Ok

well, i'd argue that it's a classic case of 'the consequences of subjectivity'.

it's very difficult to account for all preferences for game-play traits when there's so much openness to the game, even if someone wanted to play in a way that's comfortable to all parties. it's impossible to make sure everyone is having fun at all times.

there are different types of players and different visions for how they see the game, what they deem as sportsmanlike, what they value, etc. the only way you'd ever make it so nobody feels miserable going against anything is if there's an agreement formed by all players in a lobby (which in that case it makes more sense for players to go into a custom game than play publicly).

with the randomness that comes with playing in public games, you're bound to run into someone who is accounting for their experience more than the next person and settling for their own objectives. that is just the nature of games and how they are played. some experiences will not be as pleasant to face, others may find their own joy in someone else's game.

sadly, there's really no way to address this other than having open communication, really. in this case, dead by daylight does lack that with the way that killers and survivors cannot communicate with each other until post-game. nobody knows what anyone is going for or why something is being done or what to expect. dead by daylight, as a game, thrives off of this.

for better, or for worse, is up for the player to interpret.

to me, misery in this game is self-inflicted because it's something you choose to feel most of the time; anybody can choose to make a match miserable if you allow yourself to feel and experience it. that could be where the surprise comes from honestly.

The problem is this game can be miserable on both sides. It feels bad to lose as Survivor because you're usually fighting four people just to survive and get anything done unless you SWF. And it feels bad to lose as Killer because as Killer, you're supposed to be the power role, so when you get destroyed by four people it feels like you got ganged up on like you're the school nerd in the high school locker room against four sweaty bullies.

But you are never actually helpless in this game. At all. You have perks. You have SWF. You have stronger Killers. You have map offerings. You have tools. You also have simply realizing the game isn't that serious and winning means nothing as does losing, and then playing the game unseriously as the casual versus horror experience it was intended to be. That's what helps me. And if that doesn't work? There's always turning the game off and playing something else for a while.

It's also important to remember, the game is RNG. A map that screws you over may also have screwed the other side over, for example Swamp is just a really bad map and bad time for almost everyone. For every rough time you're having as Survivor, I promise if you went over to play Killer, you'd eventually find just as many rough times. That Ghostface tunnelling you maybe just got off a string of really bad rounds and now you are who he can handle. That Artist may still be learning and just happened to have it click against your team. That Pinhead may not realize that combining Iri Box and Impaling Wire looks sweaty. That Dracula might be just running a chill build and happen to be really good, and just happened to end up at your MMR. The player of all of these Killers may feel like they HAVE to be sweaty or tunnel or slug not because they're not good enough, but because the game just will not give them a break and they want just one win tonight, just like you and your team may feel the game is not giving you a break.

I would love to play Myers and be chill and have the luxury to go for a 2k and vibe. But he's not strong enough to, because I don't know if my Survivor opponents will let me have the opportunity to breathe and just be chill. I would similarly like to be a silly Survivor with goofy perks on my Aestri, but I can't do that… because I don't know if the Blight I am facing is cool, or if he's going for another winstreak in his 5000+ winstreak using four slowdown perks. I just don't know either way both sides. So I have no choice, I put the second chance perks on Aestri even though I hate using these overkill perks, and I put the heavy slowdown on Myers even though I'd rather do M1 games and run all-seeing stealthy stalker Myers, because I just don't know how hard you guys are playing… so I need to prepare for the chance you might be another person telling me to get cancer and uninstall the game because I suck, while they stomp all the gens in five minutes with their strong toolboxes or hump me on the ground for four minutes at 5 gens.

And that is so, so frustrating.

There's humans on the other side of the screen, basically, and you never know what they are thinking - it's much more than "Survivors wanna bully me" and "Killer wants to powertrip" no matter how it might seem. And, remember. You have to consider your teammates too, especially in soloq. Sometimes the sweaty player or bad actor is actually on your side as Survivor, which is even more frustrating.

PreorderBonus above me put it better than I can - just nerfing one side so the other side has more fun isn't helpful, doesn't work, and isn't enough. And it's really unrealistic to ask your opponent to simply throw more just so you can have a better game, because nobody likes doing that and nobody should be expected to do that. The game has to work for both sides, or you have no game. You have to consider both. This game is frustrating, because everyone needs to win but there is nothing that says what a win can mean, thus nothing encouraging anyone to actually play chill and still get results, because you simply can't progress much or feel good about yourself in this game without 3-4king most times or escaping a lot - and that's on BHVR.

Frankly, I feel like the game is balanced, but for many newer players, they think BHVR isn't considering both.

I absolutely understand that some people don't want to play some of these brutally unfun matches. Totally reasonable.

But the solution is simple - don't play the game. Like, at all.

If you're going to load DBD and queue up, play the damned game. Picking and choosing which matches you want to play isn't acceptable.

The "go next" meta needs to die, and it's not the devs who are truly keeping it alive. If you want to make your displeasure known to them, abstain from playing the game, stop paying for the rift pass, ignore new DLC, and stop buying cosmetics; as long as their player count is high and the money is flowing, they don't care.

People are just screwing fellow players with this garbage.

And as far as the obnoxious killers go, they don't care if you quit, either. You think a killer player running an S-tier killer with meta perks and tunneling at 5 gens in the event queue cares if they earn their 4K? Clearly they don't. I would care, but I don't play that way. With these basement dwelling dbags, it's just encouragement.

And of course there is a large segment of the surv base who have just decided that everything is obnoxious, and anything is a valid reason to go next.

This whole thing is a cluster.

Because even when playing Oni with meme/non-meta perks, no camping/tunneling/slugging, I got survivor dipping on first hit/exit at first hook?

No one is "surprised" when survivor dip against a hard camper/tunneler.

But even that is often only subjectively experienced, watching some peoples behaviour on their streams, screaming camper/tunneler when nothing of that sort happened.

I can confirm as Killer that if I really am just going for the 4k a suicide on hook does not deter or upset me in any way, all the person did was just make the 4k an easy foregone conclusion. When it DOES upset me is when I just wanna play or do a challenge/daily and have fun not caring about results, and people *still* DC screwing their team over no matter how nice I play. I could go in as the softest Huntress without any gen perks throwing no hatchets and still get a DC. I could go in as a farming Ghostface and still get a DC. I could sweat as Blight, I could play a normal Pinhead round, or I could go in as my main Dredge playing chill and only 2k-10 hook because I know I don't need to sweat that hard to win as my Main, and STILL get a DC. I could never tunnel, always tunnel, never slug anyone, slug everyone at 5 gens, never proxy, proxy every hook, play like a pro, play like a noob, play like I'm average, hit on hook, never hit on hook, Mori people, give hatch, farm, not farm… none of it matters. People still DC.

It literally at this point in the game is so common that it does not matter how silly or nice or sweaty or chill I play, because the entitlement of people who DC is just. That. High. Because there is no punishment for it. And that is a massive, massive problem BHVR has got to address ASAP.

Suiciding on hook does not help anyone's team and it rewards sweaty behavior when people do it. It needs to go. If you want to quit the game, you should not be playing DBD.