Killer anxiety let's talk about it

I used to get more anxious while playing killer, and i still do sometimes. While queuing for a match i see pink shirted Ace with flashy yeah..my heart does get a bit faster, but ive tried to stop caring that i need to be the host of the game and keep everyone happy.

( This event has aged me 20 years while playing killer though )

Its not the killers job to make everyone happy. I tunnel now if i need to tunnel. I slug now if i need to slug. It doesn't matter how i play this game there will always be salty survivors in this game.
I always try to play "fair", but quite often i have to tunnel/slug due to unhooked person bodyblocking me with their 15 seconds of immunity + DS+ DH.

Same goes while you play survivor. No matter how well you play there will be salty teammates and salty killers.
As a survivor i always try to be on gens, unhook, heal and i love the chase so i dont mind taking the chase, sadly soloQ is what soloQ is so don't expect everyone to play to your standards

Try doing your best as a survivor, and play the best you can as a killer, even if it requires tunneling. Lets forget the rulebook and try to enjoy the game we all paid for.

I think it ultimately boils down to which side of the game you most enjoy (or at least would most like to enjoy) as to whether you feel "anxiety" when playing or not. I hesitate to use the word anxiety because I've struggled with that for most of my adult life and feeling angry about something that happened in a video game for half a day doesn't compare to my worst bouts of IRL anxiety (if that makes sense?). But I can't think of a better word so I'll go with it anyway.

For myself, that's the Survivor side of the game. More often than not, I'm expecting something to happen in a majority of my trials to ruin my experience and it makes me hesitant to queue up. As a SoloQ player, you don't just have the Killer's behaviour and tactics to contend with but also the behaviour of your teammates as well. Survivor on DBD can feel like 1V4 just as much as playing Killer, except a worse experience because you have much less say or agency over how your games will go. For some players, that takes the pressure away but for me it only adds to my frustrations. Ironically, play while you wait has helped me enjoy Survivor again because an early exit or bad Survivor experience just means I get to play the role I'm currently enjoying more at the moment a bit sooner.

I don't really suffer from Killer anxiety for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I don't really play the role as BHVR intended. I hardly ever camp, only slug if provoked and only really tunnel accidentally (because I forgot who I last hooked) or opportunistically (because I chase who I see). If you refuse to take advantage of the Killer tactics that the game is balanced around, then you can't complain too much if you end up losing a few games you otherwise should be winning. That's on me. I also don't like how free these tactics can sometime feel and I would like to believe I've earned my wins and not to have been gifted them by tactics I consider to be a bit cheesy / overkill against some teams.

I also have a grindy, attritional play style based around territorial defense that may not be much fun for my opponents but I nevertheless enjoy. (as a Legion main, I need to find a way to push my opponents closer together to be able to apply pressure with my power). So I'm not usually worried about losing gens. When only a couple gens remain is when the game really gets started for me because I've (hopefully) been left with an advantageous cluster of easier to defend gens. It helps to know my Killer of choice is hated by much of the player base anyway, so I never have to worry about being liked by my opponents. It doesn't matter how I play, I'll still get occasional abuse in the end game chat simply because I play Legion.

On Killers that I'm weak with, I often run my anti-bully squad build (Starstruck + Lightborn + Agitation or Iron Grasp) to shut down any Survivor shenanigans. Or I know going in I'm likely to lose with some Killers and I just accept the risk that Survivors might decide to clown on me (I love ranged Killers but oh boy am I terrible with them). There's also the exposure therapy of having played many, many Killer games by this point. In my experience, the more you play the less you eventually let these things get to you. I'm also, generally speaking, just a lot less invested in my Killer games because it's not my preferred role. All these things together combine to lessen my Killer anxiety. The only recent Killer anxiety I experienced was as a Legion in 2V8. I couldn't get any Frenzy chains going and that felt pretty bad because I was letting my partner down badly by not spreading injuries (the only thing Legion were good for). But I guess I don't have to worry about having that experience again…

What does put me off playing Killer some days is the sustained focus that you need to play the role. Sometimes I just can't be bothered with that.

If your game is actively giving one side a real form of anxiety there needs to be some form of change. I think that more attention should be brought to this subject.

So others have already addressed the idea that this is 'one sided' quite well. I personally find the survivor side far more stressful.

But on the note on anxiety and stress: those are elements that the game goes for. Its meant to be a heart pounding experience that mimics the intensity of a horror movie.

Is that bad for some people? Sure. But I don't know how you make a game be stressful and anxious for the people who want that but avoid it for those who might have a problem with it.

They did it to help survivors combat tunneling and camping they need to do a little for the killer as well. 

Except these were elements that were boring, not anxious. I remember the games of face camping killers where the three other survivors just did gens and left. They were (and some still are) just bad design game elements.

Boring elements have been removed from the killer side. DH when killers had to do the dumb head nod for every player. Gen tapping. Even things like 80 second OTR for body blocking and FTP+BU have been removed because of killer complaints about how these things felt.

However, this is very different than a lot of complaints in the thread about balance issues. If the anxiety is that you might lose, even that you might lose badly, that's just a part of competitive games and neither side is unique on that front.

The way anxiety triggers differs for people and with reasons in this post shows that. This makes it hard for the devs to do something about it.

I for example only have anxiety playing killer as the entire outcome is dependend on me. If i have a bad game i just basically wasted my life on that match because i didnt get to do anything or have fun.

There are 2 reasons why i dont have anxiety at soloq surv.

1. The responsibility of the match outcome is spread over 4 people.

2. Because soloq is considered pain to begin with i dont have high expectations when i enter a match. I litterly go in a match with the expactions that i get sacrifices.

You're being downvoted by the people who are addicted to the game.

He got a downvote from me because the statement "I don't have killeranxiety because I'm not nacissistic" is straight up an insult to people that have it, and it's rather sad that you seem to agree to that.

I could also say something to the 4k part, to the part with work and live (I worked 9 hours yesterday btw and the day before 10, in both cases I had time to play still), calling it "boring entainment" and still doing it is also wild.

Also coming to a post with people that are scared to play one side or another and telling them that you're disappointed in them (which he essencially did with the sentence "I'm disappointed in the quality of players") is straight up diabolic.

You don't have anxiety, you have an ego. And worse people like you weaponize actual anxiety is actually offensive.

everyone has a life its hard to not have one

No… I do not agree with this statement. The fact that this is even a conversation.

The idea that turning off the video game is not an option proves that.

You don't have to agree when its just the reality how the whole existence works. Also don't know what "The idea that turning off the video game is not an option proves that." has anything to do with my statement or even proves anything?

It would have been nice yes, but I honestly expected it a bit.

Well in general after hearing a bit about it now I can understand what people mean by having anxiety to play killer. While I don't have it really for killer, I think I might have something similar for survivor - some people are scared because as killer they have to manage their mistake fully on themselfs, I'm scared to play survivor because I generally hate if people have to deal with my mistakes.

Well I hope this discussion gets less insulting now :D

I finally found what caused me so much killer anxiety. While I still have some mostly due to pallet density and playing mainly m1 killers what really got effected by it hard my biggest anxiety trigger is hooks. Hooks for killer shoukd be a reward for winning a chase but it feels more ike a punishment with the 70 second hook timers base kit bt ant camp making 2 floor maps so annoying because I cant use my power below or above them and the 31 perks survivor have that turn on from being hooked or carried to a hook that are all very strong liek deliverance shoulder the burden deadhard ds babysitter self preservation off the record resilience and sabo builds. I just with hooks didnt feel like a punishment for killer

For me, killer anxiety comes from a few places. By far the largest one is the abuses you receive, win or lose, as a killer. In a surprisingly large percentage of my games, survivors will end up being toxic, whether in game, or in the post game chat, or even going to my steam profile. Doesn't matter if you win or lose, if you play "nice" or sweat, it happens, whereas I almost never get any abuse when playing survivor.

The second is the gameplay of killer. You have everything resting entirely on you, with four other people to watch and that adds a lot of stress, on survivor the pressure of it all is spread across those three other people. You also have no downtime. Every second of the match you need to be putting in effort whereas on survivor you are only in chase about 1/4th of the time, if that, so you have a lot more time to "relax" when you are healing, doing gens, ect. You also have a lot less leniency on killer I find. As a survivor I find it a lot easier to come back. One bad chase as survivor? Pretty easy to come back from if everyone is playing well, especially with the current perks and pallet density. One bad chase as killer? You could end up losing 2-3 gens and it can feel impossible to come back from it unless survivors make several big mistakes in a row.

Another thing that causes the anxiety is the uncertainty of what type of team I will go up against. With MMR being so loose, your teams can range from incredibly casual players just messing around to have fun, to players pretending the game is a tournament. Not to mention bully squads, who just go out of their way to make the game miserable with no intention to win. When you aren't sure what to expect going into the game, it makes things more stressful.

All this, and the killers I enjoy being just generally weak, has led me to very rarely playing killer anymore and just switching to survivor. Does survivor suck too sometimes? Sure, soloqueue is awful at times when you get people who don't even want to play the game or are just throwing. But the feelings on survivor is more mild annoyance than anything else, whereas the feeling of anxiety is much stronger and worse for me personally on killer.

I read about 70% of these comments thus far -and here is what I can say -

To start off- I will be perfectly clear, I AM a Killer main because when I like being able to capitalize on mistakes of my opponents + I simply love being able to chase a survivor as they run away (yes I am completely mentally sane, dont judge 🤭).

When I play killer - I notice that I very much have to "sweat" (I made a post about this a few days ago) in order to get a 3k/4k (or sometimes just to get a 1k if I am facing a full sabo/flashlight team). Sometimes after a game I can notice my heart rate actually going down from that match, because I was simply extremely stressed the entire time.

Using the official DBD stats (over the past 30 days) I have a 68.15% kill rate (though admittedly this is somewhat skewed poorly b/c I have let survivors who were nice escape for free). Depending on the killer I can have anywhere from a 64-78% kill rate.

I also have about a 46% escape rate. So in both categories (as killer and survivor) I am exceeding either the 40% escape rate/60% kill rate

Now I say this because I want to demonstrate that I atleast want to believe I know what I am talking about when I say the following: Survivor is overwhelmingly less stressful to play then killer 9 times out of 10.

To prove my point - I personally admit to listening to early 2000's/2010's white girl music when playing as survivor 😅(basically making me unable to hear killer radius) and honestly I can sit there and vibe w/ few cares. When a killer does approach - I just pop a sprint burst or lithe and I am zooming (usually the killer drops chase, if they dont then I just loop them for aprox 30 seconds before I get a slap and go down). I refuse to believe that I am the only survivor that does this (albeit they may have better taste in music than myself). As killer - I don't play music b/c every small sound que is information I need; I need every small tiny advantage I can manage to get to be able to down a survivor and hook them. If I make a mistake - I am immediately punished for it and that feeling of dread just washes over me.

I dont honestly ever feel much of any dread when playing as a survivor, maybe some annoyance here and there but never any genuine dread. But when I play killer - I can feel dread when I get stunned for the millionth time, get blinded while carrying a survivor, get told to **** myself in the EGC, etc.

TLDR: I have experience w/ the game + perform well enough to speak on these topics : playing as survivor has from my experience been a relative breeze w/ very few mental struggles whilst playing killer requires myself to accept that I am going to feel dread eventually at some point most of the time.

I rarely feel anything negative playing survivor if only because killers generally just do their job and might even be nice after the halfway point if it looks like they've already won/lost.

Load up killer and the instant survivors feel like they have an advantage it's flashlight clicks and teabags the entire rest of the game, a 4-out and "ggez" in chat. Literally never seen survivors be like, "Yeah, we'll give you one kill" the way killers will often let people out.

If you feel anxiety then it is time to take a break.

The biggest incetive for me to play survivor is long killer queue tbh. I play about 50/50 and am not ashamed to say that I mostly play better killers - First, Twins, Krasue, Springtrap… however I do agree that killer shouldn't be mocked for just having fun either. I don't sweat and got some random hate messages from survivor players about uninstalling and my mom, well I just type "ok :)" and leave, but it's not very nice tbh. If I play "fair" and don bring the classis sweaty meta shouldn't be survivors happy to have a short room to breath? If they are toxic and I tunnel someone out to give them the attention they so desperately ak for they complain. They are easily never satisfied. I hate tunneling killers, true. I'm getting sometimes tunneled 6 games in a row and because I don't run DS I mostly die for other to escape but it doesn't feel rewarding. Something that people have to understand is that losing is normal and if you want to win 100 % of time then one of the side has to be blatantly overpowered to the point where there is no reason to play the other side. I do believe and i think that everyone who has some sense has to agree is that this game isn't fairly balanced across the killer roaster neither around survivor perks. You won't win on Badham with Skull Mechant and some chill build if you don't sweat while playing killers like Jason or Ghoul itself gives you massive advantage over most other killers. Pure example is map Forgotten ruin, Jason just ignores the map levels entirely and as Nurse or Dracula can both do it too they are very resitricted in doing so. Killer like Huntress who has to go all the way down or to the portal will never be evenly competitive there. The same with trickster's delusion. That map is horrible and it's very hard to play it as survivor unless the killers are First, Huntress, Nurse or Trickster. I will make a thread about this map shortly. I believe map and it's rng shouldn't have massive impact on the game outcome. It's like when you spawn on Fallen Refuge and you know that you will most likely lose.

The game has made killer less stressful than it used to be. Old DS and DH were very frustrating. Before EGC, end games could take forever if you refused to quit. Hatch standoffs were dumb.

If you want to "win", then this game will devastate you. If you go into every match with an open mind and try to have fun no matter the outcome, the game can be enjoyable.

I have played 2700 hours and took many breaks from DBD. Somehow the game keeps going, so I am back again. I play 1 killer match and take a break win or lose. Stand up, drink water, use the john. It helps.

My hot take is EGC should be shorter, or the killer should have a way to end it after a door is open.

you cant nessecarily control what makes you feel anxious even if your not taking it seriously. You really shouldnt dismiss peoples anxiety but "just dont do x if you feel that way" as it doesnt actually solve anything other than saying dont do something you like doing.

I'm going to agree with @Aven_Fallen with a little more explanation:

If the game is not just stressful or unpleasant, but actively harming someone's mental health, they should talk to a professional and stop playing.

If the issue is just general stress or the prospect of losing, trying a change in mindset is pretty normal advice.

If the issue is just general burnout, then its time to take a break.

All of the above would not just apply to this game but any type of activity.

Sometimes I have anxiety in lobby but then I remind myself it's game and it's not end of the world whatever happens in the match. Important is to not take the game too seriously. Accepting you lose sometimes is okay.

The biggest weakness for me playing killer is it being solo role so even I have good success I don't enjoy playing it alone. And that really can't be fixed so there is always going to be some anxiety.

being stressed by itself is not a mental health issue nor is anxiety. anxiety is a normal thing to feel. when it comes to any activity that someone is invested into or cares about whether it be regarding job performance or your next up to bat at your softball game.

To say that you just shouldnt do something if you feel anxious about doing such thing isnt a real solution. and i dont think a solution of preventing people from doing various activities of life due to a feeling they can not control is a good idea at all unless it is something actually medically serious and your having panic attacks and stuff like that but thats not whats happening (presumably) with anyone in dbd.

associating anxiety with "playing like your life depends on it" is not understanding why people feel anxious and you are thus misrepresenting it.

I also never stated anything about the devs or that anyone should do anything at all so no idea the purpose of that part of your comment.

Sorry but anxiety does not mean the person hates the thing or would not want to do it. Like reading some points here just makes me see how clueless some people are. Also to state to someone who has anxiety of something to not do it then is not a fix. These people want to get over the anxiety and do the thing they feel anxiety of. Otherwise they would be doing what quite many peoples "fix" here is that they would not do it. Like is it so hard to understand that people with anxiety want to overcome it not live under it? Those who proclaim the so called "fix" are not helping anyone.

People should try to give advice to how to deal with it not tell them "Don't bother as you clearly have no fun doing it as you have anxiety". Like if they are here asking help and talking about it clearly indicates they want to do the thing they feel anxiety towards and want people to assure them or help them to overcome it. Telling them off is not helping.