A genuine desire - Reducing Toxicity

I get that, that’s the nature of being human, we deal with conflict. But we shouldn’t just sit back and say “well s**t happens”. There’s voice comms in almost every multiplayer game, and plenty of toxicity to go around, but a day playing dbd vs. a day playing most other online games, even popular ones with higher player bases, still has more hatemail and lack of respect for opponents in dbd. Why is that? There has to be some factor that’s different.

I think that’s a huge component that I couldn’t agree more with. I play both sides, and I have friends who only play one of either side, and talking to them feels like they’re both playing completely different games. I had a game where I 3k’d with no gens completed, and the dude that escaped with a key said I got carried by bbq (get this - he had 40+ days of playtime and no kills). I hear more ridiculous ideas from the survivor side but I think that’s just due to increased exposure. I’ve had killers who tell me (on console) that billy is the only viable killer at purple ranks and above just because they couldn’t play the other killers well enough. So he wanted all of them to be buffed to the heavens. I guess that’s the main component, in most other games everyone is using the same basic mechanics, and has that common ground. Here that isn’t there unless you play both sides (which you should) and no one seems to be able to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. Which then leaves the question how do you fix that, or better, can you even fix that? You can’t force people to play both sides, but you shouldn’t have to be worried about “does this person have basic empathy/investigative skills”. Too many people revolve into shouting at each other (boy is that a trend), even tho I have a friend who is kind to everyone and has like 500 Xbox friends because they treat people with respect and patience. Maybe the best we can do is to encourage each other to be reasonable through our actions and words. It won’t prevent the problems from occurring, but it will help stop them from devolving. This game is dope af, even with its flaws, and I’ve met too many good people/players to think that hatemail should be seen as part of the experience.

I get the frustration, I really do. I’ve had to block people before because they would continually message me for days spouting their arrogance. But we see more of the survivor toxicity because we have more exposure. Nothing that @RakimSockem said was false when it came to “survivor memes”, as evidenced by the fact that almost every statement he made is from a discussion posted on this very forum. They may not represent everyone, in fact I highly doubt it, but they are still seen. I understand why survivors can tick you off but fighting fire with fire here only burns the whole place down. You want survivors to be less toxic? You have to do the same, and be willing to recognize when you do so. Jerks will be jerks and none of us are gonna become these beacons of morality but the other side won’t stop til we stop too. It’s a cycle, and if we want to break it we have to be the change. Otherwise, we’ll all feel annoyed at every other match we play, which just isn’t healthy.

“The best time to plant a tree was yesterday, the second best time is right now”. I appreciate your analogy, it’s honestly pretty fitting. I’m not hoping for us to revolutionize the way the community interacts with itself, there will always be jerks and victim-criers. But there are so many more people than just those who get caught up and go along with that mentality without ever attempting to change it. Taking steps to improve these things will help the game live longer, not just because of longevity, but because of new and old players enjoying themselves more without ending so many matches in frustration. It will take time. And it will take some patience. But progress is progress and every bit counts.

But I can tho. I know someone who mains billy at rank 10 and up because “no other killer is viable above that level”, and wants all killers to be at least as strong as billy or more (I play on console btw, that’s why nurse wasn’t involved in the argument). I’ve been told that nurse should have her add-ons buffed and that we should go to mori’s being used instantaneously without hooking people. Do they represent all killers? No way, they sure don’t represent me. But they exist. That doesn’t mean we should focus on them, but it does mean we need to dismiss a holier than thou opinion of ourselves when it comes to talking with other people, especially when they want to better everyone’s lives legitimately, not through unfair balance “fixes”. I’ve gotten into arguments defending killers before, I know what you mean about these false narratives, but devoting all our time to destroying those without building up better models won’t help us.

I actually don’t like talking about killer toxicity, it happens less than survivor toxicity and is more understandable. That being said, recognizing that it exists is important, but aside from the pure fact that it happens sometimes I don’t like speaking about it because it’s not as big an issue.

Only 60%? I appreciate the skepticism lol. The problem with narrowing down discussion topics on forums like this is that it removes the flexibility of a persons opinions and views. For example, do I think NOED should be nerfed? No. The fact that is has such clear cut counters and can be destroyed before even being used should tell you it’s not OP. Therefore, I main killer because bla bla bla. Conversely, I don’t run NOED, I think it gives me too much of an advantage if I played poorly that match. Therefore I’m a survivor main bla bla bla. When you force narratives on to people, like the 4K killer has been forced on to us, it removes the possibility of them holding other beliefs and changing opinions. So, you admitted that there were a few outliers of killers that are unreasonable, that’s all I’m saying. We’re almost on the same page. The reason why it has to be brought up, even though it’s not as big an issue, is because demanding things of others without at least acknowledging something wrong on your end doesn’t help us improve a situation. Only worsen it.