How to play with my Fiance?
This is the first time i have ever made a forum post, but i couldn't not do this because my situation is very unique (i think).
I am a competitive gamer at heart, i played pro PUBG, college OW, college HOTS, and played in a lot of League of Legend tournaments. I love teamwork and winning, or sometimes small victories in each of those games.
As a huge gamer a few years ago my gf and I found DbD and my gf, not a gamer, (fiance now) fell in love with it, I also kind of enjoyed the game it was something new, cool mechanics, ez game play, and winning felt very rewarding. As time went on though i grew to hate this game, it goes against everything i believe in as a comp player. There is no in game team work and the seasons are so short that climbing to get to a point where there is, is just not worth it for me. Before you flame me, I have a decent amount of hours and my peak was rank 10 survivor, and I could have gotten higher but BO4 came out at that point so I stopped playing. I love playing killer but I cant kill with my fiance (lol), and q times are way to long at low ranks.
But this isn't a "why i hate the game rant". The issue i'm having is that i cant play 1 game without getting so frustrated that i quit, and while yes some of that falls on me to bluntly, Chill the ######### out. I want to be able to enjoy this game with my fiance as its the only game she plays, and shes pretty good at it.
The question is how can i find small victories in each game? How can i find a way to really enjoy this game so that we can play together? Or simply put how do you keep yourself from getting angry if you are a person who tilts easily like me?
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You have to stop looking at it like other survivors are your teammates, because they're not. I too like teamwork and actually helping people, but it's rare in this game. I still do everything I can to be a good teammate, but I know that others just see me as a distraction and tool they can use to escape. I cannot tell you how many games I've run the killer for 4-5 gens, only for me teammates who haven't been hit even once the whole game leave me to die without trying. I've had many games where I do literally all five gens and am left to die on my first hook without trying. There are people who purposely try to get you killed just for fun. People will farm you for their dailies. Etc etc.
There are perks that can help you be less team dependent, like Unbreakable or Deliverance (especially with Decisive Strike). I started using Adrenaline because of the heal bug and don't know if I'll ever go back. Play more selfishly the later the game gets. Your teammates are much more likely to rescue you if you get hooked early, so know that if you put yourself at risk to help someone late game, you're probably not going to get saved. Cleanse totems so there's no NOED to keep them from yeeting immediately. Or just try to make a couple other friends so you can have actual reliable teammates for a change.
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Don’t play it in a competitive way if you hate it and if it makes you angry. Have more fun with it. As for small victories, maybe try and always make sure your fiancé survives in a match, even if it means sacrificing yourself (like you probably would in real life).
If you want to stay competitive and keep your cool, I suggest (non directly or directly) complimenting the killer if they had made a good play. I personally have found this to be quite nice while playing, whether it’s a killer or a survivor. Or taking fault for a bad play you made can also bring closure and help be calm and collective. (Just don’t go so hard on yourself like I have lol.)
if they’re being toxic? Well, that’s tough lol. I just try and clear my thoughts personally while in game. You focus a lot more and don’t overthink, while not having the toxicity weighing you down. Talking to your fiancé with different topics other than the game (for the most part) may also help as you’re probably not focusing on the killer being toxic.
And of course there are things like yoga, taking deep breaths, and other home activities, but I’ve personally haven’t needed or felt like I’ve been even close to having to do that.
Thats really all I can think of from my personal experiences from this game. Hope it helps.
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Playing Survivor with someone else I can rely on honestly makes the game much more calm for me. I like competition a bit myself. As long as I make sure that one of us gets out, I'm happy. I also disagree with @meatisadelicacy because I find a lot of players will try to help you out. That said, there are situations where there's nothing you can do, or your "teammates" aren't actually being helpful. The killer controls the flow of the match. If he decides to camp his first hook, the only thing you can do is do gens as fast as possible while the person on the hook fights for as long as possible so you guys can get out. If not, then you can play as normal. If he's tunneling that one survivor, you can try to take the hit so that he wants you just as much(though sometimes a killer will not care if they get a hit on you and only want one person dead asap).
Small victories, I would say would be things like losing the killer, or making him give up on you for the moment. Or getting that Borrowed Time save where he's camping at the end of the game and getting both you and that person out safely, making plays that surprise the killer, or yourself.
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Set small goals, examples:
1. Do 1-3 gens
2. Run killer for 15 seconds or more each chase.
3. Cleanse 1-3 totems
4. Don't get spotted by killer more then X amount of times.
Just small simple goals will help immensely, and could further your like for the game. Just remember it's the small victories that matter (saving your fiance etc.)
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Honestly I don’t entirely agree with some of the things suggested.
I have about 3k (2.8k to be exact) and currently sitting at rank 4. Having a good team MATTERS and it should go without saying that their actions and overall participation will determine the overall result of the match.
While you shouldn’t entirely depend on your teammates, there is a good feeling I find when I know that I did the best I could. I have literally sacrificed myself at times only for that person to go cleanse a totem get downed and die instead of getting out... but I find satisfaction in knowing that I played the best that I could and also tried to protect my team. I find the risk and heroism fun and try to improve myself with each match.
My advice would be that you need to find what you find fun about this game and stick to it. Everyone likes to win because it feels good... but understand that sometimes your losses can also be wins if you know you did your part.
Another thing I would say is make every match a learning experience, even if you win there are things that you will start to notice you could have done differently. I personally love this about DBD because the analytical part of me appreciates it.
So yeah, have fun is #1, but there is also a fun side in being competitive. IMO anyway.
Good luck. 😄
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Play 4-men-SWF. No random teammates, so you'll have real teamwork.
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Well I also want to give you my opinion.
You are a competitive player so why force yourself to play just for fun like others recommend? Just try to find the competitive aspects in DbD and work with that. You can try perkless or go for special challenges to spice it up. As survivor you can try to get more BP than your mates or as killer you can try to dominate with no gens done. make your own rules so you can enjoy playing it competitive.
Also if you get frustrated easily you just need to play more. At least that was the case for me. I also like competitive games and for a long time i got really upset about survs and killers. But you grow accustomed to it the longer you play. And also let your fiance take care of you. she knows you and calm you down for sure. nevertheless I think its good to get tilted sometimes. you are just human and there are things that gets you angry and upset. So just dont go too hard on yourself.
In general dont worry about the game too much. Enjoy the time with your fiance and have fun with her. if you get facecamped you still can have fun together. just make a joke out of it :)
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Find weird builds and set goals like pipping or getting better at looping/luring the killer to help your team. And most importantly dont think you "lost" just beacuse you are sacrificed. For example if you are sacrificed but you been in a chase half the match and done 2/3 gens and your team escapes thats a big win.
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There's one thing that I always recall: No matter what happens, no matter how fast you die ingame, you never really "loose".
Same goes for killer, they genrush you and everyone got out? Frusrating? For sure! Do you loose? Not really.
The thing is, there's no reward in higher ranks or anything. You won't get anything from ranking up, so rank doesn't matter at all.
But for each game, no matter how good or bad it went, you'll always get you bloodpoints. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but doesn't matter. You always get them.
The other thing you'll get is experience. A Killer mingamed you and downed you easily? Try to recall what he did. Try to learn from it or maybe you can even learn for your own killer gameplay. And there's almost always something to learn while playing, even if you're a good player there might be something to learn.
Don't trust your random teammates. This is actually part of the game. Some people are altruistic and will always help, some will stab your back, bring the killer to you, farm you from the hook, not unhooking at all,...
In my opinion there is no "loosing" in this game. You'll always get something from it. Try to stop caring about if you survived or not, because surviving is not winning. You can basically hide all game, doing nothing, and escape through the hatch. Congrats. You escaped. But would you really consider it as a win? I really don't.
What also can be fun is to try new things out. Take new perks with you and try to use them at their best. Complete dailies. Set your own goals, you can archive, regardless if you escaped or not.
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While it's a competitive game in the sense it's pvp and there's winners and losers, it's not a competitive game in the sense that it has esports-influenced balancing philosophies behind it. Going into DBD with that sort of mindset is honestly straight up incompitable with the design of the game in the long run unless you play 4man SWF where everyone's on the same page. People will cry if you do that, but their opinion is irrelevant if that's what you want to do as long as you don't go out of your way to be obnoxious.
Try to focus on other things than the end result of the match. Did you have a good chase? Cool, you accomplished something and hopefully had fun. Did you die but you did 3 gens and everyone else got out? Pat yourself on the back, you did your part. Try builds that force you into a different mindset like chest looting builds, super-specialized builds like ninja builds or anti-slug builds, when they do actually work it's great fun! Don't focus too hard on escaping or even pipping.
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