Why is it so hard to just be nice?

Hi I'm a stay at home mom to two special needs children. I play games as an escape from my every day life. I love to play survivor and killer but I've noticed some major hostility towards killers. It's so bad some nights I can't bring myself to play killer. You survivors know there is no game without a killer right? So why do you feel the need to be so mean? I'm not a camper and do everything I can to play fare but I still get t-bagged and swarmed. I just want to enjoy the game as intended and not stuck only playing survivor πŸ˜”


Basically what I'm trying to say is it takes nothing to be kind and please remember there is a person behind the screen.

Comments

  • Dolls
    Dolls Member Posts: 395

    I have a hard time believing the toxic people are grown adults...I mean, I'm sure there are some but my mind keeps telling me that these are a bunch of 9 year olds...

    Do adults go to work...come home and then be a bunch of jerks on the internet?? It just seems so sad if that's the case...


    I was really interested in playing Killer but gave up after a few matches cause it was too stressful. I only play Killer now if it's something simple in dailies. Like chases people or level up Meyers....or something simple in the rift....

  • Virusmain
    Virusmain Member Posts: 53

    i would ignore post game chat, but this community can be really toxic.

    But for all the toxic people, i find a lot of good survivores and especially more killers that are nice.

    Im new to this game, and i like the killrrs who help me and give me advice, and although its few and far between, it helps that there are positve voices in the community. Although survivors are usually more toxic. My main trouble is im rank 13 killer, and get hardcore bullied in the start as hillbilly. Its hard to get a foothold in this community because of gatekeeping I agree. I literally have 80 hours in between killer and survivor from the past month.

  • LordRegal
    LordRegal Member Posts: 1,549

    Killer is absolutely the more stressful role, but I can't encourage you to keep trying it enough. I remember feeling completely destroyed my first game as Wraith on one of the Macmillan maps wayyyy back in 2017. I was so bad, it shattered the illusion of being the strong killer immediately. Swapped to Trapper as he was supposedly an easier killer, and slowly but surely got better. Playing survivor helped me think like they did when killing, and I could see progress. Then I tried Nurse and it just clicked.

    I may have dropped Nurse in the years since, but I'm able to hold my own against non-SWF 4 stacks as Wraith in red ranks. Not every game goes well, and I do still feel useless some games, but it's extremely satisfying to do well. With Pyramid Head on the horizon, my drive to play killer is higher than it's been in a while, and it really has been a lot of fun, even if some nights I swap to survivor fairly quickly due to frustration.

  • Dolls
    Dolls Member Posts: 395

    Maybe I will give it another go Lord Regal, I have fun when they work on generators..but stress out when they don't and just want to harass me. 😒

  • Waterfall
    Waterfall Member Posts: 202

    I notice at night this game gets extra toxic. I would suggest to stick with survivor for some reason this community thinks the killer is some kind of stress pillow they can abuse.

  • Warr0ck512
    Warr0ck512 Member Posts: 59

    Thankfully I'm on PS4 so no post game chat but the actions during the game really are bad πŸ˜” I just want to enjoy the game and don't even care about getting kills. I'm not good at being killer and that's ok I really enjoy just giving some good jump scares 😊 No idea how many hours but I know it's a lot lol πŸ˜‚

  • LALYTHIA
    LALYTHIA Member Posts: 1,656

    I wish everyone would just 'be the change'. This game has gotten hard to play - not because the of game, because of the people and their behavior towards others.

  • Warr0ck512
    Warr0ck512 Member Posts: 59

    Do keep playing killer and if it's to many rounds of butt face survivors just take a break and try again another time. That's what I'm having to do tonight. I'm not going to let them stop me from enjoying killer all together 😊

  • Rydog
    Rydog Member Posts: 3,275

    I try not to let stuff like teabagging get to me -- some people are just trying to get a rise out of you, so it's best to just do everything you can to ignore it and focus on your play. And in endgame chat, I always try to stay respectful and say gg. If survivors start being jerks, I just head out without saying anything else.

  • Snowstruck
    Snowstruck Member Posts: 564

    This post.

    Keep it up man! You're a great person with a great mindset. Thanks for the positivity. :D

  • Warr0ck512
    Warr0ck512 Member Posts: 59

    I know I shouldn't and most of the time I can but when I have really rough days with my kids I can't help being extra sensitive πŸ˜” Tonight in all matches it was just really bad and I had to walk away. I honestly play just for fun. I'm not looking to win so that part doesn't upset me.

  • MadLordJack
    MadLordJack Member Posts: 8,814
    edited June 2020

    A lot of the toxicity is pure, simple entitlement. Many people, regardless of what they say in balancing discussions, genuinely play survivor like it's the role that should win, because of favourable mechanics, teamwork and ease of gameplay. When they lose, since it's so easy to play survivor, it cannot possible have been their fault. So either a teammate screwed them over or the killer broke their precious rulebook. Either way, it wasn't their fault and now they are angry because they are cheated about what should have been THEIR victory.

    It works both ways as well, I have been in plenty of games where none of my teammates use the DS's they had equipped and the killer complains about the perks they no-one even got to use. I get it if someone was in your face with a DS and forces you to eat it, or you got 59 second DS'd, but that clearly wasn't the situation and even despite my disgust at the perk I have to say it was an unwarranted rant. This is just one of many examples of toxicity in killers, but it is rather common. And the mentality that leads to it is reinforced by the fact that survivors can get carried to victory by these perks, so clearly just by having the equipped they got handed their victory.

    In short, people just have this idea of what should happen in a match. Toxic survivors think that killers should obey their rulebook and that if they lost the killer broke it. Toxic killers assume that every lost game was because of unfavourable mechanics and second-chance perks. But the main source of this toxicity is a refusal to play both sides in a relatively equal measure to truly get a feel for what you opponent has to deal with, both in this match, the last one, and the one they are about to go into.

  • Dolls
    Dolls Member Posts: 395

    What killer\s Do you like to play? I was having fun with Billy for a little bit....

  • Warr0ck512
    Warr0ck512 Member Posts: 59

    I get what you're saying but I'm not even a good killer lol πŸ˜‚ I just play for fun and to get a good jump scares occasionally. I don't even care about "winning". No one should be mad at me and yet I guess they're 🀷

  • Warr0ck512
    Warr0ck512 Member Posts: 59

    Oh that's a hard one since I try to play everyone for the most part but my favorite is definitely Spirit. I can get some fun jump scares with her lol πŸ˜‚ Ghost face for the same reason and being able to scare people from a window. This also scares the crap out of me as survivor! Bing bong boy seems to have gotten better when I played him recently. The only killer I can't figure out is Nurse 🀦 I use her for goofing off as the nicest Nurse ever 😊 I am missing some killers from my collection so my experience is still limited.

  • Dreamnomad
    Dreamnomad Member Posts: 3,846

    I just block all communication options for players when playing DBD. The game is infinitely more fun to play.

  • hillbillyclaudmain69
    hillbillyclaudmain69 Member Posts: 1,528

    And no one's messaged you? Wow you must get some really nice survivors. I got blamed for facecamping and tunneling when I got a 4k on billy. I don't camp or tunnel. Once I got reported for speed hacking...I had doom engravings πŸ˜†

  • kaeru
    kaeru Member Posts: 1,568

    For my entire Killer career my steam comment section is an endless chain of -rep's from dissapointed survivors. Bad comments about me, my internet, my playstyle. Even when I play survivor someone could be mad at me as teammate. There is so many rage I've got from survivors that not even bother me anymore. I get used to it. Somehow that people wouldn't say anything nice if you do good, but become toxic if there something they don't like. But when this bad comments chain breaks by +rep from some Dwight who I let to escape is just like a sunbeam from the cloudy sky. Really happy moments.

    For good or for bad, because I get more toxicity and less good feedback I pay less attention to bad things and more to good. If it was opposite like more good comments and less toxicity I would became arrogant to good comments and be really insulted by bad comments.

    Anyway it doesn't work for person who just want to relax. It's a long hardening some people can't afford.

  • metalklok
    metalklok Member Posts: 632

    i feel you. play good/bad/fair/scummy most games you still fave toxicity as a killer. I hope you still play the game and manage to have fun.

  • Warr0ck512
    Warr0ck512 Member Posts: 59

    Oh no but I believe it's blocked or something idk my wife messes with settings not me lol πŸ˜‚ I'm sorry you had to deal with that πŸ˜”

  • Johnny_XMan
    Johnny_XMan Member Posts: 6,428

    It’s a pvp mentality.

    When I played Friday the 13th, I would get it from Jason players and even other counselors... mind you in that game you can talk. So nothing was on text.

  • Warr0ck512
    Warr0ck512 Member Posts: 59

    I love the game to much to stop playing 😊 All try again tomorrow and hopefully have thicker skin if survivors insist on being toxic. It really all depends on the day I have with my kiddos.

  • hillbillyclaudmain69
    hillbillyclaudmain69 Member Posts: 1,528

    Yea it sucks when people hate the killer when they are simply... The killer.

  • 5thPerkSlot
    5thPerkSlot Member Posts: 395

    This game is about being killed savagely or surviving, not chess, if you want nice games try civ 6

    Besides, since around 2014 why live in a sick society getting worse and worse, so do not expect nice human beings around, specially in western countries

  • MadLordJack
    MadLordJack Member Posts: 8,814

    Honestly, being a good/bad killer has nothing to do with it, nor is trying to win. People just want to be toxic, and they want you to follow their rules. One of my favourite pastimes right now it to bind Ghostface's crouch to a macro and act like nothing is out of the ordinary, and I STILL had one team talk about how toxic I was being for spamming crouch. Full disclosure, it was in The Game and I did kill most of them, but they could hear me through walls and clearly see my bright white mask going up and down the edge of the doorway so #########. There's getting angry at t-bagging Ghostfaces and there's getting angry at a Ghostface that literally never stops t-bagging.

  • TunnelVision
    TunnelVision Member Posts: 1,375

    Mob mentality.