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Broken Smiles (Chapter concept!)
Here we go for round two! If you didn't check out my first concept (Twisted Chambers) you should go check it out. Anyways like before please leave helpful feedback in the comments below. Some notes: this time I included appearance and The killers Mori. Also Survivors are always seen as the victim or good so I wanted to twist that a bit and create a killer who wasn't right in what she did but she was hurt by a survivor who was trash. Anyways, I give you Broken Smiles
New Killer: The Harlequinn
Name: Harley Monroe
Realm: The Great Circus Expo
Power: A Laughing Matter
Weapon: Giant Squeaky Mallet
Movement Speed: 115%/4.6 m/s
Terror Radius: 25 meters
Height: Average
Appearance: Average height, large blonde pigtails. Chesnaut colored eyes and a white face. Her make-up is a bit chipped away. She wears a black skinny jeans with a leather jacket. Black boots.
Backstory: Harley grew up in the circus. It was her favorite place. All she ever wanted was to make people smile. People laughed at her dreams, sneering here and there "A circus is no place for a Harlequinn. A circus is for clowns you idiot!" They all laughed. Even her mother and father made fun of her dreams. Eventually she earned the nickname of "The Harlequinn". It didn't bother her much though, she liked the name.
When the chance came she joined the circus. Many of the oldcomers didn't like the idea of her role. She basically stood next to the headmaster and made witty, and funny remarks. However, her first night was a hit. Everyone loved her! She even met someone. He was an acrobat, Cameron Albetriz. That night they went out, enjoying the midnight air and the empty circus expo. He tried to crack jokes but she knew them all. She played along but it didn't matter. She was in love and he was the one.
They traveled the world with the circus and soon they went public with their relationship. The headmaster was on his deathbed and all he asked was Harley take center stage. So she took the role as headmaster but still kept her fun-filled attitude everywhere. Everyone loved her and said great things about her. One day, everything changed. She opened the door to Cameron's trailer and there he was naked, in bed with the Lion Tamer, Gazelle. He saw the horror in her eyes and quickly shoved the other girl away. He tried to explain but Harley wouldn't listen. She was filled with rage and ran from the trailer in tears. She didn't know what to do. Her pain... Her sorrow... He needed to understand.
The next night the show went to plan until it was Cameron's turn. She introuduced him like usual and he performed his show swinging from above. As he reached the finale Harley called out two long planks of wood, each one had a woman on it. The first, Gazelle, the second, his sister Abeline. The tigers stepped out of the cage and this quickly went from a circus act to a horror show. Forcing him to choose he swung down grabbing the plank with Abeline. The lions pounced tearing Gazelle to shreds. Sadly Cameron had no time to chalk his hands, and without his grip, he dropped Abeline. There was a loud audible snap. Harley looked out towards the crowd and threw her hat. The lights went out and Harley and Cameron were never seen again.
Power: A Laughing Matter
The Harlequinn loves the sound of laughter. She has 3 Jack-in-the-boxes. The Jack-in-the-boxes will replenish every 120 seconds. Placing a Jack-in-the-box will start it up. The music is emitted and has a range of 15 meters. Whenever a survivor enters the music's range their aura will be revealed to the Harlequinn for 3 seconds and recieve the Oblivious status effect
(This only occurs inside the music's range)
The music will play for 60 seconds and starts as soon as it is placed. Once the music ends the entity will consume the Jack-in-the-box
Smashing: Survivors can smash the Jack-in-the-boxes. Jack-in-the-boxes will sparkle every now and than which can help the survivor locate it. Smashing Jack-in-the-boxes will cause a quick audio cue, revealing the survivors location to the Harlequinn. While being smashed the Jack-in-the-boxes will not work (meaning the oblivious status effect is not in play). This takes 5 seconds to do so and will have to complete one extremely difficult skill check. Failing it will cause the Jack-in-the-box to explode revealing their aura to the Harlequinn for 3 seconds.
Secondary power: Hammer Smash
The Harlequinn will charge her hammer and smash the ground. Any survivor within a 10 meter range will recieve the exposed status effect. Smashing Hammer has a cooldown of 100 seconds.
Add-Ons:
Common:
Rose Petals: (A bag of white rose petals tainted with tears and blood): Hammer Smash's charge time is reduced
Jester's Hat: (An old garment with bells on the end of each tip): Music's range is now 20 meters
Diamond Earing: (A lost earring that was probably given as a gift from a loved one): The Jack-in-the-boxes now have no glimmer effect.
Uncommon:
Old Cuckoo Clock: (A broken wood clock. A small bird is sticking out, with it's paint chipping away.): The Jack-in-the-boxes Will now let out an ear-piercing sound deafening survivors for 5 seconds when smashed
Hair Bands: (Old black hair bands used to hold her large pigtails in place): The Jack-in-the-boxes are more secure. Smashing the boxes now takes 8 seconds
Rare:
Hair-dye: (An old box of black and blonde hair dye, mostly used up): Start the match with 1 extra Jack-in-the-box
Lollipops: (A small delicate sweet, wrapped in beautiful wrapping. They all are cherry flavored for an odd reason): Survivors inside the music's range will now experience a 10% action speed debuff
Very Rare:
Harley's Diary: (An old diary kept by the harlequinn herself. Reading it fills her wirh rage of how naive she was): Hammer Smash now has a 15 meter range
Expresso: (A small white cup of expresso. It is topped with some very nice latte art): Jack-in-the-boxes last an extra 10 seconds
Ultra Rare:
A "Happy" Photograph: (An old photograph of a couple madly in love. The man's face is scratched out): Harley remembers when she was happy and it's painful. Hammer Smash is now filled with rage, a single survivor within range will be instantly downed. This can only occur once, as soon as it happens this add-on is absorbed.
Charm: (A small heart shape pendant, inside a happy Harley. It was a promise... But promises never last): Jack-in-the-boxes music is now inaudible to survivors
Perks:
Circus Bonanza: When a generator reaches 50% skill check success zones will be reduced by 10%/15%/20% and cause a 10% increase in regression if failed
"What is fun without risk!" -The Harlequinn
SMILE!: Whenever a survivor completes a Great skill check on a generator they will instantly recieve another tremedously difficult skillcheck without warning. If failed their aura will be revealed for 5 seconds
"Never take joy for granted... As soon as you have it, it'll be ripped away from you." -The Harlequinn
Hex: The Jokes On You: The hex persists as long as there are dull totems on the map. Each dull totem will grant a token. Whenever a survivor cleanses a Hex totem, including this one, the survivor will laugh revealing their aura to the killer for the amount of tokens. Each token is equal to one second. The hex will than transfer to a dull totem making it a hex totem removing a token. (This can only happen once per hex)
"The worst part is when you know what's going on... You know its gonna hurt you... yet you still get played by your own goddamn heart." -The Harlequinn
Mori: Harley crouches in front of the survivor giving them a kiss on the forehead. She than pretends to walk away and quickly smash their head in with her mallet. When she leaves she rolls the body over with her feet and spits on it.
New Survivor: Cameron Albetriz
Role: Acrobat
Appearance: 5'10" Muscular, well built. Black, pointed hair with blue eyes. Pointed jawline and dashing smile with perfect teeth. His uniform was a mix of red and orange giving a fiery vibe.
Backstory: Cameron grew up in a family of acrobats. It was his duty to uphold the family name. Him, his mother, father and sister were known as the Flying Spirals. They would train hard, 6 hours a day. Cameron soon became a man, an attractive one. He was buff and was well groomed and almost everynight had a 'special guest' over. Soon his father and mother passed away and it was just the two of them.
They joined a new circus under the name of "The Falling Devils". There act was good but it stayed as a lower level act. Many people came for the clowns or the elephants. He stuggled with the headmaster, begging for them to be hyped up more but it was no use. Soon a new girl by the name Harley joined. She was a big hit her first night and she seemed so desperate it was the perfect oppurtunity. So, Cameron got in and made a relationship with her.
Soon his and his sisters career was soaring and it was all because of Harley. Did he love her, no. He still had women over when Harley wasn't near. Even in between practices he would get it on. Harley was useful so he used her to the greatest he could. One night, he was in bed with Gazelle the lion tamer. He forgot to lock the door, and when he saw Harley he freaked. He tried to explain how it wasn't what it looked like but his hands and attire said otherwise. Harley ran, but he didn't bother to chase after her. All he did was turn to Gazelle and whispered "Now, where were we?"
The next day he couldnt find Gazelle or Abeline anywhere. There was no sign of the two and when he asked Harley all she did was brush him off. The night came and he had to perform his routine himself. Harley seemed to be taking things well for she introduced him like normal, but soon found out he made a terrible mistake.
He saw his sister and Gazelle out on the floor tied up in front of hungry tigers. He could only save one so he swept down and picked his sister up but when he landed on the platform above he dropped her. He watched as both women were torn to shreds. He leaped off the edge hoping to end it all, but the lights went out and his body was never to be found.
Perks:
Daring Leap: His experience as an acrobat has given him great mobility and strength. Vaulting windows and pallets will grant a token up too 5 tokens. Each token increases vaulting speed by 2%. All tokens will be lost if hooked.
"If you hesitate, you'll die in this buisness." -Cameron Albetriz
Daring Duo: You have always been a team man. You gain 50%/100%/150% extra bloodpoints for any rescues or co-op action.
"We're in this together, even though hell." -Cameron Albetriz
Chalked Hands: You always dust your hands for a performance. If the hunter is within a 10/15/20 meter radius and you try to unhook, your unhook is guranteed and you are granted the endurance status effect for 10 seconds
"Rule number one- ALWAYS chalk your hands. It can be the definition between a miraculous stunt... and a tragic death." -Cameron's father
Map:
It definitley wouldn't be this big but it would brobavly include some broken down food/game stands as well as a circus tent and possibly a small haunted house? I don't know but it would be something like this.
Once again if you read it all or even just a certain part please leave your feedback below! Hopefully more to come!
Comments
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The concept of this killer is really nice, however, she is massively overpowered.
5 Jacks-in-a-box with a recharge rate of 60 seconds and an active duration of 120 seconds? That means you have at least 3 active Boxes at any given time. The effect is basically a Hex: The Third Seal + Nemesis + Toxic Explosion. The Insanity effect on top of it is a buffed up Doctor / Plague with Ultra Rare Addon. To disable that you need a teammate and waste 10 seconds.
All that in ONE Ability.
Then she also has the hammer on top of it. The hammer grants the exposed status effect, an effect which other killers have their whole power dedicated to or which you usally need a perk with massive drawback for - She just gets that as her power, on top of the already insanely strong boxes.
Then the Perks:
Circus Bonanza is a map-wide "A nurse's calling" combined with "Discordance" in one perk.
SMILE! seems okay-ish to me although still very strong. Maybe make it restricted to skill checks on generators.
And then Hex: The Joke's on you.. Damn, that perk is the most overpowered thing I have ever heard of. 10% Movement Speed increase PER TOKEN? To remind you: Hex: Noone Escapes Death gives you 4%. Play with your food gives you 5% to a maximum of 15 and you lose them very rapidly while playing.
30 Meter explosion range upon cleansing that totem? That thing is basically a Haunted Grounds with an overpowered effect on top of it.
So yeah. In theory you have some really nice ideas, in practise, everything about this killer is massively overpowered.
Same goes for the Survivor perks, by the way.
Lithe gives you a 150% Movement Speed for 3 seconds. Daring Leap gives you 120% Movement speed for 70!!! seconds. That means 70 seconds of being able to outrun the killer and not ever being able to be caught. At all. (Killer has 115% movement speed, remind you).
High Flyer seems like old Balanced Landing (which was nerfed for a reason) just in even more broken.
Chalked Hands seems like a reverse Borrowed time. The idea is good, but what the f* is that "100 second" Duration? Make it 10 and it is actually an interesting perk.
So yeah. In my opinion, you got a nice creative mind with cool ideas but sadly not a good understanding of how to create balanced content.
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Is this Batman related? Cause if so that's cool. Unfortunately, this is as broken as my marriage. All the perks are WAY too powerful.
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Thank you for the comments and looking back I agree. Check by tomorrow and I will have made changes and see what you think. I really need to learn to balance things out lmao π₯ Thanks a lot thought, this is actually exactly what I want! So by tomorrow night I should have this changed. I do agree and literally before posting I was like... Maybe theyre OP... Like I had a nagging feeling but thank you!
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Okay so I tried my best to balance everything out! Tell me what ya think when you get the chance. The names didn't change but I did add some changes that I think are a lot better. Anyways, cant wait to hear back from ya π
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I like it, seems very batman esque.
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Yes! Honestly I drew a lot of inspo from Harley Quinn herself but I also tried to keep her own personal self. Also regarding the brokeness, I fixed it so hopefully its more balanced now... Um... Yeah
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How about this for the hex.
Hex: The Jokes On You:Β This hex persists as long as there are dull hex totems. For every unlit hex totem gain a token. Whenever a hex totem is cleansed the survivor will scream and have their aura revealed for 3/4/5 seconds. The hex totem that was cleansed will then move to a dull hex totem and Hex: The Jokes On You will loose a token.
This new idea laughs at survivers trying to remove a hex totem.
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I really like this! I think I'm gonna tweak it just a teeny bit but yeah its really cool. Thanks for the help! I hope you like the concept and thanks again for the idea π
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So I edited it and hopefully it works! Check it out and tell me what you think. I kept the similar idea just implemented a bit. Hope it's okay and alos balanced... Anyways thanks again and don't forget to let me know your thoughts on it β
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NOED would get real deadly with this.
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the way to counter both of them is to cleanse dull totems
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I do like the concept and thank you for using my perk idea.
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Actually the counter to Jokes On You would be to not do dull totems as you get punished for doing so, nothing happens if no dull totems are cleansed, which is why it would be good with NOED.
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Sorry for the misunderstanding the perk should only activate if a lit hex totem is cleansed so cleansing dull totems would make it lose tokens without the adverse effects.
But speaking on how it interacts with other hex perks, how would it interact with HEX: haunted ground?
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Ahhhh, thanks for the clarification. It would be pretty strong with haunted grounds, a nice combo.
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I appreciate the fact that you have put in such time and energy to conceive of this character. However, I immediately thought of the clown killer when I read this. Don't you feel that in the first glance, the company would feel as if it is too similar to the clown and his world?
You have to focus on sharply distinguishing this character from the clown and his concept. Also, HQ is already a DC character (Licensed) and visually looks similar. You have to sharply distinguish this character from her as well.
Good luck!
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Okay so I can change her appearance up but for the relation between characters I don't really know how I would change that. Personally I thinj another circus themed killer wouldn't be terrible but I do see the issue. Thanks for the feedback!
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Yayyy Im glad you like it and ofc! I really liked the idea and it help me balance out as well as rework it! Thanks for the suggestion π
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This is very similar to my concept Smiles and Tears with a Freakshow killer and a survivor who is ( Well I'll leave that to you)
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Aghhh I'm super sorry. I don't mean to steal ideas or outshine! I'm terribly sorry I started recently, and I haven't seen yours. I'm super super sorry my dudes. I bet you yours is wonderful! Let me take a look at it, I'll leave some comments! Once again super sorry π₯
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No no its fine, I'm totally cool with it I like it that someone else would like a circus themed chapter, your totally cool, maybe we could combine our works together sometime
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Yes!!! I'd be super down too collaborate! If you give me your Instagram or Snapchat we can communicate through there! Even email would work too I guess. But yes! I would love too work together on a circus chapter concept!
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I sadly do not have snap chat or instagram, but I do have email. We can do it through that
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Also Discord if you have it
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Oof... Well I do not havea discord... I should get one it seems a lot of people ask if I have one... But yeah email works! Just drop me your yours and I'll gladly send you an email making sure its you π
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