In Regards to Negativity in the Community
So, I'll start this off by saying I'm 19, and I'm very new to games and, y'know, life. I haven't had it very easy in life and have always looked towards the positives, and I have noticed so much negativity in the world and especially in video games. This community has people getting mad over basic perks, people playing in order to provoke others, and the forums having lots of less than civil debates. I know that every game has people who use homophobic, racist, offensive slurs, but my goodness it doesn't make it okay. I don't care if this post is closed or I get banned for this, because I will always advocate for being a decent human being. There is a person on the other side of the screen. So many people play this game, all with varying identities and backgrounds who play a game to escape reality or just have fun, and I'm disgusted by the negative and offensive comments I see pertaining to said identities. Call me any name you want, tell me all the games that have this happen, etc. but what's your argument? Excusing disgusting behavior or ignoring it? I like bringing joy and fun to the forums, but I have seen an endless stream of 'I hate players who use [character/perk/item]' or 'People who play like this suck' and it just adds fuel to the fire. I think what really tipped me off recently was in regards to Freddy's backstory and a user saying that we should feel bad for OP not liking a horrific fact of life in an 18+ game. Have some sympathy ffs, I usually put a smiley face or exclamation points in my posts but I'm really, truly disgusted by this mentality. Empathy should be a normal response to things like that whether it's in a game or in the real world. I also am not making this post based off of one comment from recent memory, because I've encountered this stuff in every game and I'm probably just screaming into the void, but I'd rather get this off my chest. If you read this far, thank you for coming to my TED Talk on respecting others lol
Comments
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Ok
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I´m sorry to read that you got upset over the community. Seeing how impressively positive you usually came across, I dreaded the toxicity might get to you eventually from the very beginning. It happens to many people that start off with a nice attitude. Contrary to people that just don´t care, they are more susceptible to negative influences. I hope you feel better about all this soon.
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The problem is once the cycle of toxicity begins, it becomes borderline impossible to stop. Most of the time people are toxic because they themselves have been treated that way. It's like a plague that spreads.
It's impossible to help everyone not go down that path. The best thing you can do is stop yourself from going down that road and pray that just like toxicity, your positivity will spread. For some, it's easier just to give in than follow the hard path. For those people we don't react with toxicity. We move on and try to understand that there's a reason they are acting that way. Not excuse them for their behaviour, but just understand there's most likely a reason they're acting like an ass hat. And remember one thing, we've all most likely fallen down that rabbit hole before.
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That's what I think as well. I've had many friends who used such vocabulary and didn't understand how hurtful it is. I don't hate anyone either, it's just very distressing to read such upsetting topics and see negative things like that. Wonderful analogy with the plague, it spreads and seems contagious at times. Thank you for being kind and civil, I really appreciate it <3
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Oh gosh, I adore you and all of the kind people in this community! I've seen toxicity like this in games from every FPS to roblox of all places. It's just unfortunate, but you, buttercake, grimmreaper, madlordjack, and many others have always kept me going. I just feel so anxious, especially when it gets personal (my username on xbox is extremely girly, and I always worry I'll get odd messages over it or plain misogyny) But anyways, thank you for being so kind to people on the forums and for this wonderful message <3
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honestly don't know what to say except p r e a c h
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Thank you so much. This goes both ways, you and some others have a special place among the forum members for me.
I totally agree with you that the select nice forum members are essentially what keeps this place worthy of returning to. I was so happy seeing that many people show their appreciation for one another in "Your favorite Forum Members!"
This kind of anxiety is only natural, especially when you´re so young. Don´t beat yourself up too much over it :)
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It will take a long time for significant changes to take place. It starts with more positive outlooks though. Clearly, this upsets you, and I empathise: I, too, have little understanding how certain ways of presenting yourself as a troll or bully actually benefit those in any way. If anything, it's just a small tick in an otherwise vacant existence they find themselves in currently. They don't have that true comfort in themself, or even belief.
The best way is to just stick to positives. I try to be as positive as possible. When I've been involved with arguments (not debates; arguments) I just make it factual. No name-calling; just facts and precision. Otherwise, I'll only ever aim to put out positive messages. That's where it starts; not by succumbing to it.
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👏🙏
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Negative people deserve a safe space to play games too. Maybe you choose the wrong place for the community you want? You expect everyone here to change to suit you?
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I'm sorry but your comment reeks of bait.
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It’s a bit of an oxymoron to claim negativity needs a safe space when it’s usually negativity that starts making spaces unsafe to begin with.
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I try. But like everyone else even I reach a certain point where I flip. I suppose that's why I both hate and love this game in particular. It's a testament of people's frustrations. A trial of anger and calm. A push of people's spirit. It can be unhealthy though. So for those people that find themselves slandering other players or getting very frustrated with the game. Take a long break and look after yourself.
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*giving you big hugs thru the ether*
I feel for you, sometimes ppl have valid opinions and have no idea how to convey it in a non-inlammatory way. And some just have no clue how to read a room. All I can suggest is curating YOUR experience within the community. If something hurts you, or upsets you, by all means say something. But you can also be free to ignore and nope out of every convo/post that brings you down. Only you can decide ❤
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I've been gaming since I can remember, I'm 22 now. It's always been a thing when it shouldn't be, I remember in school when the boys would talk about gaming and lil 5 year old me being a girl was excited to make friends, they laughed and told me I probably played Barbie games. Even in single player games like Detroit become human, wolf among us, TWD have negativity in their communities which doesn't even make sense for a game based on its story, but there it is; judged on the choices you make in game. There's a cycle of toxicity in gaming and it's sad, maybe it'll break but I doubt it, for now I hope you have a good day and keep your head up.
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Omg, you're a lady, too? Come here, sweet summer child, Auntie Jyn will protecc you! Some communities are chill with female players, but it's a fact some are very toxic. I hope the female market will be given more of an appeal, because there's so many ladies that have grown up gaming and will happily contribute to a community that recognizes them.
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I've been mistaken for a dude plenty on here which is fine, I'm very masculine. I still get some comments from people I was friends with in high school, in fact I had an argument last week with one of the guys I was friends with for liking story based games. It's so stupid, like sorry for liking other games that aren't just shooters!
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Can I join the gamer girl support group? I had a guy get surprised that I knew who Mitch Murder was and also been told 'jokes' about cooking and cleaning in chats with all guys. I suck at FPS and always laugh at myself when playing, but then get some guys who are salty before seeing my bunny pfp and being like 'omg queen im not like that i swear' and i need a hug from auntie jyn and conehead ;w;
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Omg, I give unlimited hugs to those that deserve them, and you surely do. It's so effing bizarre- we love gaming and want to support our favorite developers and games. I've heard stuff like, "make me a sandwich" when a dude finds out you're a girl gamer.
I can only assume it's due to the prevalent age group playing a particular game, but it's still BS.
For me, and in my mind- gaming is at it's very best when it appeals to what makes us HUMAN, not what divides us as a gender. I really long for a day when we can all just play a game out of love/interest, and unite over that.
Until then, I will give hugs to whoever wants them 🤗
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If someone tells you to make them a sandwich please tell them to "Go back to sleep, and starve." I beg of you.
(also hug me please im ######### desperate).
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You bet I will! @GoodBoyKaru @megswifey @itsaconehead Ya'll get over here for a struggle snuggle, Auntie Jyn will protecc you sweethearts 🤗
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Anonymity means not being held accountable. And based on evidence surrounding us, people don't hold themselves accountable either. Which is wierd for me especially, since I have no conscience, guilt or empathy and yet I still try to be as civil and caring as I can. I don't always get it right, but I'm always trying. And if a psychopath can do that, why can't everyone else?
And if people are being bigoted toward you, I am so sorry. It's the reason I stopped playing shooters - sucking at them while calling out bigotry? Yeah, there's a reason I mostly play single player RPG titles. But if anyone's been making you feel unwelcome, then please know that some of us genuinely don't care about gender, culture, sexuality, or even how feminine/masculine you are.
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@MadLordJack samesies, single player rpgs is what I grew up with. But I still am hopeful that ppl can just come together and enjoy "gaming". I give you hug too, if you wants it.
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What an interesting perspective! I'm glad you try your best, since it makes a major difference. Not everyone will appreciate it or understand it, but kindness is so important-- Even online. I'm always glad to see that I can escape from real life every once in awhile and not have people comment on my identity, it's calming at times :)
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Everybody likes hugs. They make my cold, dead heart do that wierd pulsating thing. I think it's called "beating."
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I had no reason to believe I had a destiny, but this thread affirms it- I, JynMojito, am meant to give struggle snuggles and comfort to all weary travellers. I will not fail you! I shall dispense infinite snuggles to those who ask for them 🤗
Call my name, and I will send my strongest struggle snuggles thru the ether to comfort you and bring hope! 😤😤😤
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may i also give you hug?
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Two heartbeats in one day? Well, I won't say no to that!
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It's not just in games its life kid welcome to it. You just gotta move on when you encounter toxicity and form groups with people you enjoy simple as that. If you get hung up on negativity you'll forget that most people mean well.
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(I'm the one in black, sorry man)
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@GoodBoyKaru Agressive hugs are the best ones, lol. You done good 👍
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I always look on the positive side of things as I stated in the post, but I will never brush off homophobic, racist, and misogynistic things. I mean, you do you boo, but I'm not gonna excuse racism and just bad mindsets in general
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Wait that sounded super sassy lol ;w; I mean that I always expect the best in people and when I see them stoop so low it makes me so angry. I just worry about people excusing it so often, and I know there are wonderful people who understand how to at least be accepting rather than voicing their (usually awful and offensive) opinions.
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I am a very colourful person. I turn red when I'm angry, yellow when I'm sick, blue when I'm cold, and purple when I can't breathe. It's great!
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I certainly didn't mean to offend using that term, since me and my colleagues have been taught to say it that way in college courses and also by black and latino peers. My black family members also use the term, but maybe it's different? I don't know, haha! I'll keep that in mind and revise the post, thank you :) And sure, I can take it with a grain of salt, but I'd rather put it out there and get it off my chest.
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All the hugs! I got hate from guys in school because I didn't like Halo, still do! But since I started filming on YouTube I feel better about being bad at games because I can laugh and hopefully make others laugh too.
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people call the community toxic i call it passionate
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I'm extremely sorry about this, I was greeted this way before when I joined the community. So hopefully you do get better. I agree with you 100%, this ######### has to stop. However I hate to admit it but I'm not entirely innocent, I've said things while playing that I deeply regret, not gonna what though but I am not like that anymore. It is just one of those days where I question my life at times, whether I'm worth it or not. I've grown past that but some days it does comeback, thankfully not as bad as before. I hope you get better and I hope that remember there are amazing people in this community like @TheClownIsKing @GoodBoyKaru, @naughtyboyjames and @SCP_FOR_DBD. Everyone else are good people, just don't let the bad represent them.
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Sorry man, its unfortunate how much people can ruin a good thing. Sometimes people just suck, but if it makes you feel better. There are some really, really good people here. Stick it out, and you will meet some of these people, I promise you. Hang in there man, regardless of whether your still part of this community.
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You are too good for this ######### community. And I mean this. I can't even stress how isolated I feel from the community because of the really bad racism, which hurts cause I do enjoy playing with people and interacting with the other members. You have posts of people leaving because they feel the community is too toxic and yet people mock them, that's a kind of irony only DBD fanbase could deliver.
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its dbd what do you expect more survivs are toxic then killers
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Thank you, hon <3 I'm sorry it started that way for you, I play on xbox in baby mode (messaging off) from bad experiences and I will never forget when I was in a match with Piggy, I died last and they played super well, saw they were a ttv and went to check them out and my teammate said they should... off themselves and then called them a homophobic slur. I was disgusted by it, and I reached out to them and said that if I had had access to the chat I would have reported them and said something, but that's neither here nor there. The people who are leaving are usually wonderful players that have been harassed and such, and I can't blame them for abandoning such a horrid thing. I have met so many wonderful players and streamers through this game, and many forum members are absolutely lovely people--everyone on this thread, really :)-- And that's what keeps me from leaving. I am also horribly addicted to this game, lol! I hope you have a better time in the community, and have a wonderful day <3!!
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I have met so many amazing people on the forums and in game, I just wanted to address this issue and let it be known that I won't stand for it. No matter where it happens, racism, homophobia, and any disregard for empathy is just icky to me. I sound like a baby, but it really does just leave a pit in my stomach when I see people's identities are being used as ammo, especially over a video game. Thank you for being so kind, I hope you have a great day <3!
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I'm glad you are owning up to it and not denying it. We have all fallen into rage, and I have said things I don't like saying (Not with identity, just like calling a friend a [cuss] nugget or... "female dog" lmao) but we can only move on and learn from it! And yes, they are all such wonderful people!! One person who has kept me coming back is @Slashstreetboy and literally everyone else in this thread (Shout out to auntie jyn and coney for adopting me :)!!) And everyone you listed is f'ing phenomenal, truly lovely people-- You yourself included, don't fight me on that! So, have a great day and stay safe <3!
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I've been getting better at it. I totally forgot about @Slashstreetboy, I'm sorry, you are still cool man. Anyway thank you and I hope you as well stay safe
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💙
It was so cute seeing @Jyn_Mojito dish out these lovely hugs! This kind of sweet empathy warms my heart. @megswifey, @MadLordJack , @GoodBoyKaru ,@SCP_FOR_DBD , @GrimmReaper , @itsaconehead, @Dabihwow, @LuffyBlack. I hope you´re all safe and you´re doing good. Much love from someone that feels far too wholesome for his own liking right now 😅
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Thanks dude @Dabihwow , I really appreciate that. @megswifey Of course I'm no angel, I've also said things out of anger and spite just to get a rise but in the past years ,I feel like I've become a better person from this community .One thing I've always questioned and said is how can God or anyone be mad at what someones sexual preferences are which predates Christianity beliefs by a millennium probably futher,also racism is also very intolerable if you're going to hate someone just hate the actions of that person not the color of their skin because know one is superior or inferior maybe in intelligence but thats all superiority can fall upon and strength but a skinny guy can knock out a big guy depends on the characters tho. I certainly will try to be better at not letting my anger get the best of me to hurt someone's feelings or to attack thier character.
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Another wonderful person admitting an learning! We are all here to have fun, and again, rage can overtake us at times and as long as we realize our actions and learn from it, the better we will become :)! I totally agree with your reasoning, love is natural, skin color is natural, just embrace the beauty of life <3 You can do it! I have friends who sometimes say things without realizing how hurtful they are, and pointing it out always helps them get the perspective necessary, especially if they do it out of habit.
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Yes, YES, let the wholesomeness flow thru you- EMBRACE IT! 🙃
Thank you for being a voice of support to so many others. It sounds like so many of us are struggling with something, so at least know you guys aren't alone! And Auntie Jyn is always ready with the hugs. Stay hydrated! ❤
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Don't get me wrong I'm not questioning God only the words the people who say such things because, I am only mortal and have know business in the affairs of God's.
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