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Been kind of sad lately
Hope this isn't against forum rules or something cuz I don't really have anyone to talk to.
I just feel like everything in my life is getting worse and everyone's turning their backs on me. My school, my friends, and even my family are kind of just pushing me away or losing interest in me and it hurts.
I've really been failing school and missing classes and now they want me to go to a special ed school, even though I'm certain I don't have any learning disabilities. I just can't find the motivation to wake up on time and go to school everyday. Whenever I do end up trying I run into some technical difficulty and give up on the spot. I really used to do good in school but no one really cares because they see me failing now.
My friends and I used to be a lot closer but they've kinda just stopped talking to me. They still hang out with each other but I'm always left out because I don't share many of the same interests as them. I feel like they just see me as annoying whenever I try to talk to them. I just want to delete all my accounts and completely disappear from their lives but I don't know if I should. I have one friend who I can talk to every once in a while but I feel like he wouldn't care if I disappeared either.
My family only cares about me on a "you're family so I have to" level, and they probably see me as easily replaceable because my little brother has everything I don't. Whenever my parents are scolding him I can literally hear them saying "you don't want to be like your brother." My grandparents don't care about me either because they think I'm a disappointment too.
This probably isn't worded too well but I just really need to vent. Hopefully someone can point me in the right direction because I don't know what to do anymore.
Comments
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I'm sorry you are feeling this way.
I don't know what your life situation is like beyond what you described here, but I have seen people who I am close to endure hardships in this wheelhouse. Have you ever considered exploring therapy? Cuz life shouldn't be this hard all the time, and you'd be astounded at how much some good treatment can help you cope and figure this stuff out.
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Hey, I just want to say thank you for reaching out and posting this because I know it can be hard.
I cannot give you the best advice as I don't know you personally, but I will say that you definitely need to try and get rid of that negative mindset because nobody can help you until you help yourself first. It will take baby steps, but you will eventually get there little by little.
I know your parents aren't treating you right, and I know your friends aren't including you. But that is not a reason to throw your future away (school) because when you look back many years from now, you'll regret letting other people dictate how your life plays out. The best thing you can do at this point is be blunt with your friends & try and muster a better relationship with your parents. Tell your friends exactly what you posted on here & if they don't respond with an apology or a welcoming, you need to get them out of your life and meet people who will actually care about you. For your parents, even though it's better said than done, just try your hardest to spend more time with them and develop that bond of both friendship and family. If it doesn't work out, then that is your chance to make them regret how they treated you when you move out ASAP and end up never calling/visiting. Family or not, you don't need toxic people in your life.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm in school just like you are & Covid sure isn't giving me any motivation because I feel like a prisoner and never have the energy to do anything. I imagine the feelings you're having just makes that 10x worse and that's why you need to get these things settled soon so you can get back on track.
If you ever need someone to talk to/play with, I'll be here because I know how it feels to be down in the dumps.
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You need to speak to someone. Your school should have a counsellor who is able to help you with how you're feeling and help to try and guide you through. You would be surprised how many people feel the same way you do so you aren't alone.
There are websites to be able to speak to people online that are feeling the same way you are and I know it isn't the same as speaking to someone in person but it is still human interaction and can help build your confidence.
Most importantly though you need to make an appointment with your doctor and see if he can help to assess your situation and see what the best method is to help. Honestly it sounds like this could be a mixture of anxiety and depression because I have been where you are now and I know how awful it feels. Your doctor may prescribe you some medication but it really can be for the best to help level out the way you think and help shift the negative feelings out of your head so you can make room for the positive ones.
A lot of how you feel about how people think about you is in your head and being able to get help to clear out those negative thoughts will help you to see that, otherwise because you feel this way you will continue to push people away and the situation will honestly just get worse.
Like i mentioned I have been where you are before and I've pushed people away because I thought it was for the best and they didn't want to be around me anyway but that honestly wasn't the case. I was the one closing myself off and bringing myself down and also others around me because of it but once I spoke to someone and got help and also went on medication it was like I tore down the rain clouds above me and the sun started shining again.
I hope you get the help you need and feel a lot better <3
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Thank you for responding
I've tried going to therapy in the past but I felt like it wasn't going anywhere, it'd become like a chore to go because it wasn't helping. The therapist was nice but I felt like he didn't understand me at all.
I've contemplated telling my friends how I've felt in the past but I just don't want them to think I'm needy. Even if they do notice me more after that they'll probably just hang out with me out of pity, which is a terrible feeling because then they'll just be dragging me along everywhere. I want to hang out with them as their equal, not some baggage.
Do you know the name of one of those websites? I think talking to someone in more detail could probably help
I've been to doctors in the past but I've never really been diagnosed with anything. I guess I might've left details out when talking to them because my parents try to use mental illness against me. At the same time though I really don't think I have anything and I wouldn't want to self-diagnose. Just not in a great spot I guess
Thank you again for the replies, and I'm really sorry if I seem a bit close-minded, I'm not trying to be
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I understand you don't want a pity friendship, but I still think you should tell them. If you feel like they are only hanging out with you because they feel bad afterwards then you don't have to put up with it anymore & you can cut it off.
They cannot read your mind, and nothing will ever get fixed without communication.
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There's a website called Sane but there are many more I'm sure if you take a look online.
You should still go to the doctors and explain to him just like you have explained here about how you feel and you must be open and honest with him. How your parents or anyone's feels about the stigma that's attached to mental health is not important and the only thing that matters is getting you the help you need to get yourself in a good place and making sure your life is on the right track.
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Hey there mate.
I just wanted to say that I've been through similar circumstances. 2020 was the absolute worst year of my life, and it put me in a very dark place. I've never been clinically diagnosed, but I'm fairly certain I have depression on a minor level. I know what it feels like to not have the energy to get up.
What helped me get out of this cycle though, was these two things.
- Find something to believe in. I don't really now how to word this, but try to find a goal of some kind. For me, this was Resident Evil 7: Biohazard. Seeing how Jack Baker treated his family (before he was infected) was heartwarming. It made me want to have a family of my own, so that I could be a good dad like him. When I'd start having bad thoughts, I'd think to myself, don't give up, you'll start a family, you'll be a father one day.
- Confront the problem. For me, this was finally confronting my alcoholic mother. I was able to convince her to get treatment. Ever since then, things have been a lot better, and my mother has gone from the brink of being fired, to working hard again.
Since I don't know you personally, I don't know if these two things will help you like they helped me, but I hope from the bottom of my heart that they do. Remember, even if it seems like no one cares about you, there will always be someone who does.
I know it ain't much, but if you ever need to talk, I'm here.
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You know I got to think those thoughts.
@unsafepallet I get it man, 2020 ######### sucked, I personally felt trapped, and a loss of sanity. But I got through it with people I trusted, and sharing good laughs with some forum users. Point is you gotta have high hopes, only then can you achieve your goals. Just remember your not alone, there are good people all around you that you may have not seen, you just need to know where to look.
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I personally am not a fan of my school so if you get the option to go to even a community college or career center go pick something you like if it's the only thing your good at home it master it to perfection then and if someone catches your eye there talk to them they already have a simmlar interest if your in the same area
The only thing you will have to learn out of there is taxes and possibly cooking after that enjoy what you can
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I'm sorry that you're going through a rough time at the moment. I think a lot of us have gone through the same at one stage or another, especially through the last year when the whole world has been turned upside down.
Have you tried to talk to your friends to arrange things with them, instead of waiting for invites? That's a mistake I used to make, not want to bother people (even friends) took me a while to realise that I wasn't actually bothering them and they wanted to chill with me...again it seems to be pretty common.
Family relationships are always tough, you go through ups and downs with them - I have with my own son, try to communicate with them about how you're feeling.
My best advice, fwiw, is always communicate with those you are close to, don't hide your feelings - talking about things, can always help.
Mandy
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Therapy and medication and whatnot can be a bit of a long road -- I've seen how it goes with close family members who initially struggled with it, couldn't find the right therapist or the right treatment, and it scared them off of it for a while. But then eventually they found someone that "got" them, and it improved their life and their outlook a lot. What I'm saying is, don't give up because something isn't the right fit -- I promise that the right fit IS out there.
And, I don't think you are being closed-minded or whatever. It sounds like you are struggling, and that can make things hard. And if your parents are not taking the idea of mental illness seriously like you say, this isn't going to help things at all. Your feelings aren't wrong.
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Control your mind recognize what you think. You can never understand anybody else if you don't even understand yourself. Don't loose yourself in feelings. Turn more out than inside.
And your school is not that important. edward snowden never finished highschool.
Watch the people is it really what they think or is it just your mind and bad feelings playing tricks on you?
What you think about the future?
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Don't take everything so serious, make your own thing.
You don't have friends? Make some online --> Maybe something strange happend and you add and then talk to each other.
Family ######### on you? Just don't care
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If you're feeling isolated, try to remember that you're never alone. Even your one friend who you still feel you can talk to is somebody. His presence in your life means you have someone you can talk to, and I'd highly recommend reaching out to him about how you've been feeling. If you don't feel comfortable with that, as other users have suggested, websites exist with people whose job it is to help you. Don't let anyone trivialize what you're going through just because you're young. Mental health is important, and no matter how old you are, you deserve to be listened to if you're struggling.
In time, you'll be amazed at how small things such as grades and school friends are. The fact is, those people aren't your friends. If they were worth having around, they'd be making more of an effort to stay close to you. If you do end up switching schools, view it as an opportunity to start over and make new friends.
Also, grades don't reflect intelligence. Please remember that. A column of number grades doesn't determine how smart you are. Even if you flunk, there's always an option. Your school counselors should work with you to figure out the best course of action for you. It's what they're being paid to do, so be sure to seek out their help.
The last advice I can give is to recommend finding a distraction, whether it's a video game, new music or a new hobby. Find something that sparks happiness. Music in particular can be cathartic. There's millions of songs out there to discover. Find one that gives you that rush and listen to it on repeat. Whatever it takes to lift your spirits.
I hope in the time since you posted this, your situation has gotten at least a little better. Live each day with all your might.
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