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Noob seeking Advice: Post game bullying messages
Hi there
I'm actually a bit nervous to post this, but I'll try anyways.
I just bought this game for PS4. A friend showed it to me and it seemed like something I'd really like so I thought I'd give it a go. I'm trying to play Spirit, but of course I'm not that good at it yet. Some maps are easier for me than others. Sometimes I struggle a bit with the first person view, but I was having fun trying.
I find the matchmaking system very confusing. When I'm matched with people at my low rank, I fare ok because we're all new and figuring things out. But for some reason, every second game when I look at the post-match ranks, I've been playing with people in green or purple ranks which are far above me (lvl 19). Thing is, I don't really care if I don't get kills at this point b/c I'm just derping around trying to learn.
But whenever I face these higher ranks, I've started getting really unpleasant messages afterwards. Basically making fun of how bad I am at the game. It's shocking to me, because you'd think they could see from my rank that I'm new. As well, it's a pain in the ass to type out messages on the PS4. Why would anyone even go to such trouble to do this? The first message or two I just blocked them. A third one I actually asked this person what possesses them to send nasty messages to new players, and he replied; "lmao I only send them to people on PS4" (what? Why? Am I missing something?).
I've had a difficult year, and I just wanted a game I could immerse myself in to distract me from real life crap. The messages are starting to turn me off the game entirely and I've only tried playing this Killer for 2 days. I find I'm hesitating even trying today because I don't want to deal it.
I guess I wanted some advice from DBD veterans. Is it the culture of this game to bully new players or something? Or else, is there a reason I'm being matched with people in much higher ranks? Maybe most importantly, is there anyway I can learn faster, maybe watching streams or something? I don't have enough friends playing the game to practice in a chill environment either.
I think I just want to decide whether it's worth it to continue or if it's just going to cause me a headache or put me in a bad mood lol.
Thanks for any help in advance. I'm halfway wondering if I'll get toxic messages here too though lol.Guess I'll find out :D
Comments
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The best thing thing you could do is just say "gg" and move on, you dont have to even look at the messages
Dbd can be very frustrating even for new players, but the good thing is nothing bad will truely happen.
Just move on
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You have three options:
#1. Turn off messaging.
#2. Ignore them
#3. Troll them. "You suck in chase!" "Thanks! I ran the killer for like 5 minutes." "No u didnt'." "Haha. You're right. I'm a god at this game. I should go pro."
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I know that in theory, just on PS4 the messages pop up in your face.
Maybe I can disable them entirely. Thanks
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Judging by this I'm concluding this type of behaviour is normal for DBD.
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Tbh you're probably gonna get a lot of heck for your killer choice, too, as bad as that sounds.
Turning messages off is the best option to not see them.. but you don't see the good ones either.
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Hey there. PS4 Killer main here! I can confirm that this is happening to every new Killer (at least on our console.) Survivors used to grief me all the time post game when I did bad. It happened to my brother, heck, it happened to my friend across the pond in Britain too. DbD was absolutely my largest source of hate mail (which is saying something, because I used to play For Honor).
I promise you that if you keep at it and ignore those messages, learn to play well and start ranking up, those messages will surely taper off and die. Im only rank 9 as it stands, but im consistently 3-4k-ing red ranks on a good day and I'm pretty much hate-mail free at this point.
You couldnt have chosen a better Killer for it, btw. Spirit is crazy strong. You can do this!
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When I first played this game in 2018 I just disabled messages and friend requests during dbd sessions.
Now I leave it open because I don't care and if they say vulgar or rude stuff you can report them to sony and they could get banned eventually. Just enter the chat and you can do that and block them afterwards if they are persistant and annoying.
And one more thing that people here won't agree with. I suggest trying to disable crossplay while you are still learning the game. I am not new to this game but even I find it more fair playing against other ps people and my q times are similar.
And yeah, fanbase is kinda toxic tbh but many other games are similar. Humans are just horrible, it is in their nature. Good luck.
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I'm still not sure why DBD is such a toxic game, I think it's something to do with the fact that games are usually either a decisive victory for the killer, or a decisive victory for the survivors, so someone is always feeling a bit annoyed after a loss. Also when they finally get a win they will not take that win gracefully either.
If you still enjoy the game, just try and look past it I guess. Maybe just take comfort in the fact that people who go to the extent of messaging you clearly have their own issues in life they are taking out on a video game.
Also, just a warning, if you decide to stay, and do get better, just be prepared for more hate mail. Currently you're experiencing the noob bashing, but once you get good, people will start to message you just to criticise your tactics, or make excuses for them losing. Sadly it seems a part of the game.
There are a few wholesome players in the community who are gracious in victory and defeat, and will call out your good plays. Just enjoy those rare messages when you do get them.
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The matchmaking is really bad. So its normal to get survivors which are better. I started like you. After a while i disabled messages, but they send me friend requests to insult me. I have played many games, but 90% of the messages are from DbD. Now im over it and i have messages enabled again.
Tips:
1. Dont try to argue, most of the time its useless.
2. Report their message, Sony is quick and some get really scared when they get a warning from Sony.
3. Replying with only "Everything okay?" works good, too.
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Hi!
Why is the killer I chose a problem? I'm curious now lol.
I chose her because everyone says she looks like me haha. That's it.
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I wasn't accusing you of anything or offended by you. I meant it that you seem so used to the messages that they don't register with you anymore. So basically my goal would be to become more like that :)
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If they are messaging you on the ps4 messaging system I like doing this, report them if they use any sort of vulgar, racist, homophobic, etc. language, I have been suspended in the past for saying things such as "you are ######### at the game". So just be nice back while they are being rude, then report them. You don't know for sure if they get banned or suspended or not, but I would say 7 times out of 10 it happens.
I now play on PC so it sucks how you can't report them and they just get away with it, the reason for this is because the report system sucks for dbd
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You should play whoever you want however you want.
People will never be happy even if you let them win they will either be pissed about something or just insult you.
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Spirit is considered a 'top tier' killer - her power is extremely strong once you get the hang of her, since you can mind-game Survivors and fake them out with your movement. I'm guessing part of the abuse is from people who see a 'strong killer' and feel like they can talk #########.
I don't know much about the game on PS4 but sadly the best thing is to either report them if you can and then move on. Given how big the player base is, you're unlikely to be paired against the same people, especially if you give it a couple of moments before searching for a match again.
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Spirit gets a lot of hate in general because she's very strong. A low risk, high reward killer. You'll find lots of threads around here complaining about her and her lack of counterplay.
If you like her you should play her, she gets a lot of hate though. I think it's more towards the killer than the player.
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I play on ps4 too and trust me.... Turn messages and friend requests off! The survivor community is something else.... I invaded à long time in dark souls but never had to block messages, but survivors? Holy #########.... You're in for a ride. No matter your rank, your killer, your perks, your add ons, how many times you farted during the match... Something is always wrong! You play too nice and they escape and you're filth, you play efficient and you're filth, you play a week killer and you're filth, you play a strong killer you're filth.
My experience improved so much after i blocked myself from all forms of contact....
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I play on the PS5, previously on the PS4. The best advice I can give you is to turn off messages to all but people you're friends with. I did so almost immediately after I started playing, and I've never regretted it. I have still been able to talk with people I send friend requests to after particularly good games and have made some good friends that way. If there's salt from killers or survivors after my matches with them, I'm blissfully oblivious -- and I'm happy to keep it that way, lol.
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They are on the opposite side of the coin, don't care for what they say they don't know what you go through
the vice versa is also applicable don't insult them or belittle them you don't know what they go through, just give them a gg and hope that overtime they learn to do the same
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I play solo survivor, and I always assume the other 3 survivors I'm playing with are SWF. Last thing I need is one of them messaging me afterwards to complain about how I didn't do this or that.
Blocking all messages and friend requests also means any hot take or insult they had ready for me is wasted.
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The best thing I ever did for my mental health with my PSN account, was change my account privacy settings to “messaging from friends only”. It’s sad because I could be missing out on a lot of positive interactions from other gamers, but the high volume of toxic vitriol, particularly from other DBD players just gets way too much.
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Best thing is to just ignore them. Most of the time the ones sending these messages are quite bad at the game themselves, often requiring their better, more experienced, friends to carry them. You will find them at all ranks and will be toxic no matter what you do or how you play. So....just ignore their attempts at attention.
I don't know if you can do it on PS4, but on Xbox's messaging system I just send a Thumbs Up Emoji as a response and leave it at that. Alternatively, If they start with the toxic messaging I will sometimes mess with them and have an entirely different/off the wall conversation instead. Throws them for a loop and often have no idea how to respond. Most give up immediately after the first line or two and never message you again.
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I suggest watching this video
I also suggest watching more of his videos since it helped me when i was starting out :)
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Also a ps4 player- Unfortunately some people will go out of their way to be rude. I will say when I was new I had a few people message me and give me tips on what killers to play based on my play style and be genuinely helpful- so there are some pretty cool people in the community too.
The matchmaking in general can be pretty off, which is why sometimes you get people way out of your rank.
OhTofu on youtube has good tutorials and does gameplay reviews that you can learn a lot from. I also second not Otzdarva. Also, playing survivor every now and then can teach you how to be a better killer because then you can learn from other killers.
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Unfortunately, there's not really any blanket solution to dealing with Toxicity as killer.
The best solution I've found is just improving at the game naturally, playing both sides, and playing what you find fun to go against on the other side. Personally I ended up maining Demogorgon because I found it to be a lot of fun whenever I got to go against one, and the killer was just as much fun to play for me.
Unfortunately, you'll find Spirit is-- well-
The most hated killer in the game. No matter how well or bad you play Spirit, more than any other killer you'll encounter toxicity and hate.
That doesn't mean that you have to stop playing the killer, or even should. It's just something to consider that you'll have to be more in the mood to handle toxicity when you're playing her.
It's going to be a difficult road, and if you're not in a good mood that day you're going to have to seriously consider whether or not you're willing to play. It's okay to not want to play every day and it's okay to want to do something else. Toxicity can be a major deciding factor in whether or not you even stay with a game and it's okay if you decide to leave based on it.
Also, to answer your question-- There is a reason you're being matched with players of higher ranks: A shortage of killer players, likely due to the same issue you're dealing with.
Matchmaking times are very long for survivor frequently during certain times of day. As explained by the Devs it could be that there's 400 survivors in queue, and absolutely no killers in the queue.
The matchmaking system currently tries to pair you with players of similar rank, but some people have to wait so long for that one killer that the system eventually just decides it's been too long and gives a new player to a group of veterans.
As for improving, when I was learning killer a couple months back when I started the game my go-to's were Not Otzdarva and Scott Jund.
There's several guides on their YouTube channels that help, both of them have tutorials on specific killers, overall killer tips, maps, perks, and even gameplay analysis of other players or themselves so you can understand WHY certain things are done and see them in action. It's really valuable information that once you start figuring out how to incorporate into play you'll be able to fly through the ranks.
Toxicity will decrease over time as you get better, once you've improved enough you have direct control over the amount of toxicity in your matches. Killers/Perks/Strategies that are unfun to go against will be the main things that cause toxicity at that point.
If it keeps being really bad though, you CAN turn crossplay off by going to the main menu (Not killer or survivor menus), going to options and scrolling down. Console players are much less likely to talk and you can presumably just disable people messaging you on PS4 as well. There's also a button to hide the endgame chat in the post-game lobby (I believe it stays off until you restart the game or turn it back on).
Take everything at your own pace and don't be afraid to take breaks or just not play when you don't want to deal with it. You'll be okay.
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Game is for people above 18+ if you cant handle bullying you need to stop playing the game.
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Omg you all have been so helpful! Thanks so much for all the feedback and advice, I've turned off messaging/put it to friends only on my PS4 already.
Kiatening to all your stories, I can't believe how crazy people can get in this game! I'll certainly take the recommendation to try survivor side too :)
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So... number one, grow a thicker skin.
Number two, if you can’t, then set your messaging options on the PS4 to only allow messages from friends.
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honestly anyone sending unwanted messages and even harassing you in the messaging system are guilty of harassment and cyberbullying. report the messages to sony and let them take the action appropriate. I'm sorry it happens and it shouldn't but we live in a world where people don't give a damn. good luck and keep trying to get better :)
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Just politely say **** off to them
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Hi there lil fellow killer.
Here's something that you (sadly) need to understand with the DbD community : the survivor mains are by far, the most toxic community you'll ever face in ANY games. I think its mostly due to the assymetric nature of the game and their total lack of experience with the other side that make them completely unable to empathize with the killer player.
Sadly you can't really do much about out outside of ignoring it, or embrassing the darkness and use their insult and salt as fuel for your hatred toward them that will make the process of killing them that much more enjoyable.
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Screw what everyone else is saying (didn't read the whole thread) this is something that will truly help you if you want to learn how to deal with toxic people who send hateful messages.
A little background information to show my experience from over the last 4 years of playing this game:
When I first purchased this game, I was going through a very tumultuous period in my life. I had just moved to a new state with my then pregnant girlfriend (now ex-wife) when my little brother succumbed to his disease. I was on my way to a job interview when I got the news. As you can imagine, I was in a very overwhelmed state.
A few months pass and I'm working two jobs to make ends meet. We're a bit more comfortable and I feel like playing games again (me and my brother have always been big gamers). I tried the game out on a free weekend, and instantly fell in love with it. I bought it as soon as the trial ended.
I was playing the game whatever free time I had when I wasn't handling other responsibilities, which frankly was very often, as my ex also loved watching the game. There were even times I barely wanted to play and she would make me because it helped her fall asleep.
I started out playing killer. I tried survivor first, and at first that was the selling point of the game for me, but then when I discovered how killers played, and how many add ons and perks and different ways you could play, I was instantly hooked and started playing survivor less for a bit actually. But playing as much as I did, it didn't take long before I started getting sent messages after each game once I passed the very early ranks...
So now, I've played slot of games where trash talk is common. Yes, I was there in the old MWF2 lobbies lol, but very many games in that era, especially on console, were toxic. Ask someone about old Injustice lobbies, or playing MVC 3, or pretty much any fighting game. Hell, even played my way through overwatch for some time.
But man, I never got soooo many toxic comments in such quick succession. I was actually shocked, and given my temperament, pretty angry, especially when it was accompanied by a loss. I legitimately felt rage like never before... At first. But over time of course I got better, which helped a lot in overall when I was able to overcome the loss factor. Still, even then I was getting very mad at the times I lost and got messaged or taunted in game...
So now we're past that lengthy prologue, I'll tell you what REALLY worked for me in the end.. You must embrace the toxicity.
Here me out, I don't mean.you have to be cruel, or go overboard. What I mean by this is you need to be able take what they give you, and dish it back in a way that makes them feel silly for being so concentrated on being cruel themselves.
Say something stupid back. Make a bad yo mama joke, tell them your dad works for Sony and you'll have their account banned for sexual harassment, say you were busy eating their wife's wig, anything. It will probably piss them off and give you something to laugh at instead of feeling aggravated.
Believe when I say this, you can be made a very angry person if you play this game and take it to heart..I have made many friend in this game who I've seen act irrationally angry and become an overall angrier person from playing. Don't let yourself fall victim to it, it feeds a rage addiction cycle and will be a.toxic load on your life, and I am not the only players to observe this.
Hopefully you can continue to enjoy this game, and if not, it's ok to put down. That wouldn't be a bad choice before reaching critical mass. But just remember, you don't have to meet rage with more rage.
Coming from someone whose had more messages of hate from this single game than any game I've played for the last 8 years of owning a playstation
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"Screw what everyone else is saying, here's my wall of text void of any real meaningful insights instead that is basically just repeating what everyone else have said already".
You sure know how to make an impression in forums my dude.
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I'm sorry you experienced this and also that is the state of this game. People will tell you to "get a thick skin" or "just ignore it" or some other BS because they are okay with the toxic behavior. I'd say do what feels right to you to still get enjoyment from the game while protecting your own mental well being.
I just had a game where I was doing my daily for Doc and I got called names for trying to get one kill after all the gens were done and the Survivors used all of their 14th chance perks on me to leave me with a 1k. That right there sums up the Killer experience in total.
It's a game where 4 players get the chance to bully, "outplay", and belittle their opponent. To some people that's a great deal of fun. To anyone with some human emotion and empathy that's pretty much a dick move.
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well this game is really toxic, if you play killer you have 4 people to say you're toxic if you play survivor sometimes killer say something toxic too.
but trust me this is all more manageable than finding cheaters
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I'm relatively new to the game as well and I can confirm there's some incredibly toxic survivors out there. I was trying to learn Nurse the other day and it was nothing but "u suck" and the equivalent messages after the game. I wish I could say it gets better, but I honestly don't have the experience to say that it does.
As far as getting better at the game quickly, look up videos from Not Otzdarva on youtube. I've been watching a LOT of his videos and they're incredibly in-depth, and very helpful.
I'm sorry to hear you've been having a bad experience, and I wish it was more rare.
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I understand you don't like what I said, but I won't insult or go back and fourth with you, man. Have a good day.
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That’s terrible, childish advice.
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Options:
1) Turn off messages
2) Ignore them
3) Annoy them
I generally go with #2, but #3 is really fun. Reply with something not only totally unrelated to what the person said to you, but completely non-related to DBD. When I choose to respond to messages I say things like:
- Blue is my favorite color
- Are you hungry?
- Did you hear that?
- When is your birthday?
- I'm having pizza for supper
If they respond to that I continue to respond with nonsense. It really pisses people off and has the benefit if never having to say anything mean to anyone.
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Turn off messages and ignore them. When I first play this game I got put with smurfs.
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Hey man. I'm not a proponent of players being nasty to eachother, but you just have to accept that people are gonna be inconsiderate wherever you go and whatever you do. One thing that will never be taken from you is your ability to ignore people. and that's exactly what i suggest you do my guy.
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I play PS4 and I’ve disabled messages appearing onscreen while I play so that if I want to read or answer them it’s easier to do it on my phone app. And since Ive initiated cross play my troll count is way down because apparently you don’t get messages outside of your platform.
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This is something that i think all decent people on console should do. I don't know how fast Sony works, but i know microsoft works fast on reports. For context i was bullied as a kid so ive developed pretty thick skin.
First off if the messages get to you, i would say just disable them. There is no point in ruining your experience because people are being douchenags.
My favorite approach however is to get right in there and trash talk them back, keeping it clean, until i get them to say something rascist/homophobic or even any swear whatsoever. Once they do that i report them and they get a chat ban at least or sometimes more. If more people were to do this we could silence the douchenags and then chat would be mostly filled with gg's and good messages.
I once did this to a guy who had already had multiple reports and he got a 3 month ban. He messaged me to curse me out when his account got reinstated, confused me cause at first i had no idea who he was until i reviewed the old chats, i laughed reported him again and never heard from bim after that.
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Always report the ones that step over the line and start using slurs, these kind of people don't only say that to you so if they end up with a huge stack of reports action will be taken.
I usually call them out on being salty + send a gg with a heart. I have no idea why but this pisses them off enormously. I don't just sit there and take the ridiculous toxicity but also refrain from starting an argument since it's pointless and probably what they want. I also have the habit of listening to music between matches which is really relaxing.
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This game is, unfortunately, incredibly toxic. I main survivor because I enjoy the feeling of accomplished teamwork and I like to meme around and just have fun with the emotes, but I've also played killer, and I can say with certainty I've gotten my fair share of comments on that side of the coin.
Honestly? I know how hard it is to not say anything back, but just be kind, and if not that, be impassive. Don't take them seriously, because they don't deserve your respect. But if they're leaving nasty comments, somehow, saying something as simple as a "ggwp" and nothing else is more scathing than anything else you could have said, because they're looking for a reaction and you're essentially saying "Your words and time are meaningless to me. Have a good day."
I've never understood why some survivors feel the need to belittle the killer after they've already gotten their win. But I also don't believe in "growing a thicker skin", because tolerating the behavior is just the same as promoting it. Being kind sounds like a cliché and broken record, but I promise you, it'll improve the end-game chat. I've experienced it first hand. I was once playing killer and was also very, very new, and as soon as the chat opened a survivor had already sent a message about how terrible I was and if I was mad. Instead of being hurt, I just laughed, mentioned how I was new, and asked a question about noise notification prompts. They immediately changed tone. Now, instead of toxic behavior, they were giving me tips, answering my questions and giving me encouragement.
Just know that the more you engage with toxic players and mirror their behavior, the more they'll rub off on you, and the more you'll find you become one of them yourself.
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Not childish advice, its litarly the age rating for this game + everyones always ultra toxic ingame so its not everyones cup of tea.
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This is a game were you need to turn messages off if they offend you. Otherwise just report the once that is abusive and ignore the rest. If you have messages on and play killer you will get a lot of hate because a big part of survivor players are simply scumbags.
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A ratings advice, and age recommendation has nothing to do with whether people choose to be jerks and bully people.
And others don’t just have to put up with it. The right thing to do is to always speak up, and fight for a change of culture and attitude.
If people throughout history just put up with things because “that’s just the way things are, get over it”, we’d still live in a world of segregation, slavery, no women in the work place, and other awful, archaic things not fitting for modern society.
Bullying does NOT belong in online gaming. It needs to change. It can’t change if everyone’s attitude is “just put up with it”.
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By your logic, harassment, insults and poor behaviour are just a regular part of the game. That adults are naturally accepting of such conditions, and to find it shocking at first means you're child who can't handle it so gtfo.
Questioning the toxicity is literally the opposite of immaturity. I was surprised by an onslaught of asshattery and sought suggestions on how other people handle it and have since taken their advice and made messaging 'Friends Only". Prior to this, I didn't know that was an option. So I found what I was looking for here, and a lot of the replies really helpful so I'm back to enjoying the game.
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Did I say that toxicity is a good thing? No? Did I say that everyones always toxic? Yes, and if you know a game is full of toxic competetive people dont play it. Theres a reason why toxicity only happens in online competetive games, if you cant handle toxicity dont play competetive games, because toxicity wont ever go away. Toxic people will always try to be toxic, you can turn off the chat, but that wont prevent people from being toxic in game.
So yes, poor behaviour will always be a regulart part of this game, especially if BHVR keeps inducing the split of survivors and killers.
Competetiveness is the leading cause of toxicity.
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I used to get messages like that all the time, even from other survivors who are salty for whatever reason. My advice, block messages aside from the ones coming from friends. That is what I ended up doing and it's been great. Not more toxic messages from stupid people. Also, it helps you not send those messages to others, because trust me, there will be a point where you will want to. And replying to the nasty messages might be a bad idea. I have a friend who got one of those killing him this and that and he replied with something like "Shut up you moron".
The next day he got a message from PS telling him he had a warning because he had insulted another player. This, when my friend was the one insulted first. So, be careful if you reply to these messages.
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