I uninstalled for mental health (rant post)
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As a killer main i've been trying to enjoy this game and not letting other people ruin it for me, but after tonight i just cannot tolerate the toxicity anymore.
I went against a swf with 2 live twitch streamers and they were all disrespectful as any player could be. That's whatever, but in endgame chat they were just spamming hurtful comments and that really triggered me today. I reacted back in a bad way, and im probably going to get banned for what i said anyways because im outnumbered. I just cannot believe live twitch streamers were doing this and people were watching them. It just feels humiliating.
This stuff just makes me so depressed. I bought this game as an escape but all it has done is just make me look at humanity from an even worse point of view. I play killer instead but when people in this game constantly tell you that you are an unlovable horrible person for just trying to have fun and enjoy the experience, it will affect my self-esteem eventually, you can't just shrug these things off forever. I wish people would get that, it's not as simple as just ignore them or close endgame chat. When players act like that you want to know what they are actually trying to say...
And it makes me sad that Behaviour seriously does not care, about toxic people and hackers that ruin the experience. I've asked so many players why they don't report and it's because they say they do make reports and nothing happens, they see the same players again months or years down the line.
I really wish i could enjoy this game, especially considering how much money i've spent on it, and seeing what a dedicated community it has, but i just can't handle playing with this player base anymore.
I'm not really sure why im making this discussion. But i guess i just wanted to know if other people feel the same way. And what insight they may have.
Comments
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Well, at the end of your dreadful experiences, I hope your sun will rise.
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Agreed. The players of this game are really nasty, and its really hard to block them out compared to other games. You're better off without this game mate, i hope you find another game that suits your fancy and brings you a new kind of joy you can rely on.
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It's mentally draining sometimes, I've went through pretty rough patches of depression the last year and I completely understand how you're feeling man.
For me, I just took regular breaks and I just don't even pay attention to people anymore. I am on console though but when I play on my pc account I just don't don't look at end game chat when I'm having a bad day mentally.
Listen to me, you continue to be who you are cause I know you're a great person and a good killer main. You got this, do not let others ######### actions and mannerisms get the better of you. At the end of the day you're clearly a good human being unlike them.
Them kinda people thrive off of putting others down, I no longer let them do it to me and I hope you get to that place too.
You got this, trust me. It's not easy I know but I know you can do it.
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The best thing I recommend doing is publicly out these folks. If they are going to be dipshits, let the public see them for what they are. And also report them.
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Sounds like you've had enough. Toxicity isn't going to stop and unless you can shut that out, then it will always be there to bring you down. I'd say to just turn off chat altogether but if you can't do that, then uninstalling is probably best for you.
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I'm sorry that you were treated like that. A break might be good for you. We'll still be here on the forums if you plan to stay and post.
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thanks for your understanding:)
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Thank you for sharing man, keep your head up :)
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I was thinking about that, but they weren't really hiding anything. They only stream on twitch and have their steam private. They just like being that way. And somehow people like watching it.
It's against the rules on the forums to name and shame people though so i can't share their twitch account.
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I feel you. My emotional stability can crumble if I don't monitor it carefully. It's so easy to get triggered in this game and it's not the game usually that does it, it's the players and what they say behind the game.
I once played with a ttv as a teammate and they eventually died because Clown was hard camping and they made an unwilling trade I guess and time ran out so we had to leave. I go into their chat to say ggs and they immediately start bashing me because I'm console like it was 100% my fault and my fault alone he died and called me a toxic POS just for saying ggs in his chat and I essentially was not welcomed with their chat laughing along making fun of me. This did hurt my feelings. It really did. And that's what I mean by my emotional stability can crumble if I'm caught off guard like that because I got triggered. I don't want to go into the origins of what triggers me but basically being told I was a useless piece of garbage shattered my self esteem and it was a bad week from there. My skin is usually really thick but as I said, I got caught off guard. I took a small break from dbd, played some other games that made me feel warm again and laughed at some YouTube videos and then I slowly came back to dbd but I told myself to not be caught off guard like that again, I'm not going to go into anymore twitch chats to tell them ggs even if the team won. It's not worth getting upset or triggered over. They're just people on the internet and while it's hard to forget that in the moment, it still holds up.
So yeah I guess that's some advice or insight I have. People can be so nasty, it's unbelievable. My friend who does some streaming, he's a super funny guy and we played against another streamer who was our killer and he got so pissed off at all the pallet saves, protection hits and my friend's 360's he was nasty enough to call my friend racial slurs, being a racist and calling him names - reported him immediately. It's just awful. Like I said, it's definitely not worth it to go into Twitch chats anymore. If you still want to, you can get a feel for the streamer before saying anything but this won't guarantee there won't be any hidden salt if you did anything in particular.
I hope you feel better, I'm so sorry you're going through this.
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Thank you for sharing your experience, it really does help :)
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There are a lot of idiots out there, amongst the players who play just for the enjoyment factor. It's a shame that many empty minds like to get their kicks out of the suffering of others.
Not that this will be of much comfort to you, but those who act like that are hurting badly from other things, so they lash out at others to share - or at the very least unburden - their pain. Most normal people deal with it in less moronic and more constructive ways, but those who choose not to are not well-adjusted. They put up the pretence that they "do not care about others", yet actually they want nothing more than that.
This psychology won't probably be of much use to you, but sometimes understanding why people are as they are is useful. Still, there is no excuse for them being as pathetic as they were. I hope you are able to get past this and find a place of comfort and happiness. They don't know you, and you're stronger than them.
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for the record not all of us are like that, its truly unfortunate the way people treat others in this game sometimes. even compared to other games, in other games even like dota ive never had someone say something as toxic as "i hope you get to watch your children die of cancer because you cant afford to treat them." sadly this game attracts those kinds of people.
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I feel this....overtime I feel this game has gotten less and less fun for me :/ Hellrasier is my favorite horror franchise ever but the way the playerbase is, I feel like it wont help make this game feel fun for me. Will see I suppose.
Post edited by Gay Myers (Luzi) on3 -
Just respond with, "smh... Survivor mains." You get to be passive aggressive without saying anything offensive and maintain the moral high ground. Ez, as they would say.
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You can simply turn off chat.
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One of them was drunk, so i got the impression they were dealing with other stuff but i still cannot understand how those people don't have empathy. Assuming they feel badly treated by other people. I don't get why they would want to do that to someone else, knowing it would just contribute to a vicious cycle. Maybe they are in too much pain to realise that, i guess i won't know.
Yeah, they don't know me, but right now i don't feel like a lot people actually do. Because of the pandemic and things i haven't really been socialising much so i've been kinda lonely. So when i judged in this game, or online in general, it's feels much more true than it should, because there isn't much else to go off of.
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Yeah, but it's just as easy to turn it back on.
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Twitch streamers were saying bad things and people were watching them? I know it's fiction but have you seen a movie called Untraceable? It's about a serial killer who puts people in elaborate death traps and streams it over the internet. The traps are setup in a way that the more viewers watching, the faster they die. The FBI went online and a national broadcast on tv saying "The site is real. It is not a hoax. Do not visit it. Anyone watching these streams is an accomplice to murder" Yet every time the killer streams they are getting millions of views. The killer's message was "I'm not the bad guy. If no one was watching you'd be perfectly safe right now".
Again, work of fiction but I can actually picture this happening in real life. A lot of ######### on the internet.
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That's your choice tho. If chat is so toxic for anyone, you can turn it off and keep it off. Can't blame anyone for mental health but yourself if you turn it back on.
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Wow, that is really interesting, i'd like to watch that at some point. Thanks for sharing:)
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That is true, it's just a matter of restraint. It's tempting.
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Fair.
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Make a youtube video if you have recorded stuff, or if you didn't just record their video since they are live and probably have it as a vod. Disgusting behavior in general but if they stream they should be ousted
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I just wish you could disable end game chat (on pc) in the settings. That way you can't be persuaded to take a quick look. That would make the game a bit more better on pc.
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Me too. It makes me wish i played on console xD
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I'm sorry this happened to you. BHVR doesn't do anything to moderate this game, it's pathetic. I laugh at the people who put in their quotes that it's their job to stop cheaters or check reports, because they literally don't do anything, ever.
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I'm really starting to think that nobody is actually getting banned from this game. The number of daily active players is closer to being a constant than a variable. How does that happen with this kind of community?
Dead by Daylight is by far top 2 most toxic games I've ever played, definitely not top 1, but also not top >_3. Point is, this community is full of disgusting, frustrated people, with the largest majority of it being people who say "This is fine".
Too many players act like if there are 200 wholesome streamers or partners that pardons the thousands who might very well be psychopaths.
Nothing significant is being done.
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Haha, on console people still can message you though, but it's more of a hassle to do that.
I hope you calmed down a bit after this awfull experience you got. People can be trash towards others. From what I see on here, you're NOT a bad person. Please try to not let you get down because some lowlife on twitch was being a trash human being. They're not worth the time.
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They gave an option to disable chat.
The enacted a wonky filter system.
I know for a fact reporting players results in bans.
So - no your post is not factual.
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I guess it's not that they don't have empathy, but moreover they don't care about the other since they're drowning in their own troubles, so choose to be blind to it. Their fears take over others. It's wrong and there is no excuse, but understanding why people do it at least reveals them to be human (if somewhat flawed and ugly).
Also, the internet is too easily used to hide behind an anonymous profile. Someone online with a gamertag like "Bigdick6969" is most likely going to be someone with not nearly as much confidence as their name suggests. People say things they'd never say face-to-face because they can hide behind it with virtually no repercussions (although if the act is deemed criminal, then cyber teams, white hat hackers and police have ways of cyphoning them out). It's their supposed safe space, where they can be who they want to and puke out their venom.
Covid has been especially destructive to those, like yourself, who have been forced into a more isolated existence. With not much else to go on, it can feel like they are the only points to validate yourself with. There are articles you can read about which relate to this about "conditions of worth". It may help you understand yourself more, how to take action and give you more assurance that you aren't what they say.
To those guys, you're actually just a slate they are imposing the bits about themselves they don't like on, but only in their heads. You don't need those stickers; you can be how you wish. Just give yourself some belief and avoid those who can't deal with their own fears in an adult and practical way.
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Just to share, for anyone who may happen to care:
I myself am a 43 year-old male with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder). In short, it's worrying about the same regular things that anyone else would worry about, but worrying about them with much greater intensity. Someone more "normal" might be concerned that their boy or girlfriend didn't get home when they were supposed to, and take note to keep an eye on the clock. Someone like me would be watching that clock obsessively, looking at it every few minutes, wondering every ten or fifteen minutes whether the person is cheating on me, got into a car accident, racing over all the possibilities as to why they couldn't have gotten a hold of me by now, etc etc etc. It's crippling sometimes. Exhausting at the very, VERY least.
When I was a kid I was shy and sensitive but I was raised well and had a loving family. But as I grew into my teens and in particular my early 20s, when I was with a girl who greatly exacerbated my anxiety problems with her behavior, things got worse. At that time the concept of GAD was a fairly new thing. Much more is known about it now. I take meds and see a therapist for it. It's the best I can do to try to live each day like a somewhat regular person and not get overwhelmed by my worries about something going wrong. I'm not ashamed to share this, it's not something I asked for and it's just a chemical imbalance that I was born with. It's part of who I am and I try to do my best with it.
I say all this because I want to help anyone who feels mentally exhausted or in any way frustrated with this game, or with basically anything in society, not feel as alone. I'm a loner by choice - I try to be friendly and polite (I don't even feel good getting kills in this game) and I never try to be outwardly hostile to people I don't know. But under the surface I still struggle with trusting people, enjoying the company of people, tolerating the society that I currently live in. I do my best but it's hard sometimes. Video games, like movies, have always been my comfortable escape.
When I see people acting like complete jerks in this game, I try to let it roll off my back and to be honest I'm usually successful. These people don't know me. I'm an anonymous rando on the other side of the screen, just like they are to me. They're empowered by their anonymity and many of them are likely just immature. I accept that. But sometimes, especially if I'm having a bad day and just want to unwind, certain behaviors in this game just make me feel negative and angry. It makes me reflect on the world and all the things I dislike about it. The needless selfishness. The dishonesty. The myriad of ways that people take advantage of and hurt each other. The more I allow myself to dwell on the negative the more I feel like I will never truly escape from it because this world certainly isn't going to change, let alone change in a way that makes things more pleasant for people like me.
So I mean, to the OP and anyone else who might have taken the time to read this, and can maybe relate even just a little bit, I understand. We play games to have fun. We play games to smile and laugh and feel good about ourselves, to forget our troubles. This world is harsh and careless enough as it is without throwing ourselves into situations where people we don't know serve as calloused reminders of what it is that makes us want to tune "life" out in the first place. Sometimes it sucks. Sometimes it really sucks.
While my advice will be the same as most others': If a game is making you stressed and you find yourself having a worse time because of it, not a better one, just walk away. Make yourself walk away. Find some emotional peace in grabbing a good book, crunching up on the couch or even in bed to watch a favorite movie, give a phone call to a friend, go to some websites that engross you or make you laugh. Don't allow the behavior of other people to dictate how you feel. You don't need to swear off the game, you don't even need to talk to anybody about it if you don't want to. You can just drop it, do something else for the day, the week, the month, even the year, and funnel your energy into something more positive and productive. No form of entertainment is worth making yourself feel worse about the world or your place within it. Walk away and feel better about you, and the things in your life that you know you can count on, and when you're ready to come back, the game will be waiting.
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Lol yeah hackers aren't on the rise in DbD lately or anything. I've run into players I've reported previously for derogatory terms in chat, so good luck with that. 5000hr veterans of this community openly agree that BHVR doesn't enforce anything. They care so little about it that the report options still state bodyblocking to be bannable, even though it's commonplace
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I disabled EGC a long time ago and my life is way better.
As for toxic players - they come in all forms - streamers, non-streamers, etc. I used to actually post on here under my twitch name, but after so many forum people would come in and just spew homophobic and racist comments I had that account deleted and switched to this one. I'm not a HUGE streamer, but I am a Partner and make my living off Twitch and YT - but got tired of every day people form the forums coming in and being disruptive or posting juvenile comments on my YT vids.
BHVR can only do so much to stop idiots - use what tools you have available - especially by disabling EGC - will make your games WAY better.
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It's definitely the right choice to stop playing for a while if it's making your life worse instead of better. If it feels too extreme to give up a game you want to like and spent a lot of money on, it might help to remind yourself that it doesn't have to be a Forever choice unless you want it to be. You can keep checking in with yourself over time to see if your feelings about the game have changed -- you don't have to stick to whatever decision you make today.
If it helps, I started out as a killer main and ended up taking a five month break after about a year (which started off as me deciding to stop playing forever). I was upset about a lot of the same things you are and realized that the game was making my life worse instead of better, just by adding so much stress. Every now and then, I asked myself if I was still happy with the decision not to play and, about five months in, I felt something I thought I would never feel, which was a sudden interest in playing survivor.
When I came back to play survivor, I ended up being a both-sider, and I have a better experience with that, though I'll still take breaks from killer for a few weeks at a time.
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If you ever see Streamer doing that laugh at them for being such losers also can you report streamers for that? I dont know. I'm sorry that happened to you. I cant even tolerate people like that
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I looked on twitch, doesn't seem like any of the default options were applicable, so i guess not.
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Oh well there should be a way to report them because some people dont deserve twitch
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I dunno, Twitch itself is pretty unbelievable nowadays.
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I really dislike seeing bm. It makes me feel bad even if it happens to others.
Yesterday we went against piggy and guy was clicking at her for no reason at the gate. She downed him and picked him up somehow. I nodded she nodded back. But after she hooked him she was looking at me being distracted and other girl saved him. Idc what will people think of me but I tried to block him from escaping but couldn't, she didn't hit him cuz he probably got bt. He escaped.
I felt really bad for her. She played nice...
I understand you man. Pvp games are full of toxicity and world in general is not really a nice place imo. How hard is to be respectful to each other right?
Try some other games. Playing sp games can be fun but also you can play some with friends only. I had fun with nioh 2, borderlands 3 recently etc.
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DBD was never designed with having a "positive experience" in mind unless players are wiling to.
It's all about the constant features that counter or block the possibility of the opposite role to show competence.
If you accept an advice, don't leave the game at once.
It might not work as you probably have the habit by now, find another game and slowly transition to it while you compare the worth of each experience for your mental health.
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I know the feeling. Play killer go up against sweaty SWF groups. Play survivor go up against hook campers and tunnelers and it's a coin toss how useful your team mates will be. Along with dealing with all the general toxicity from people. I often take long breaks from this game cause it just becomes too much.
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I still don't know why we even need an end game chat honestly lol
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Mostly it's so people can go off at each other it seems so probably not really needed.
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For the drama, of course. If only you could link end game collapse with your microwave so you had popcorn ready.
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I did have one funny end game chat I wiped a group and we all started joking around it was a rather friendly group.
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I actually never thought about it until you mentioned it. A simple thumbs up / down or even a basic selection of emojis would work just fine. Even nothing at all wouldn't be a serious detriment to anyone's gameplay. You can communicate "GG" without the need for a whole chat app.
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Why not just disable end game chat? That's what I did. I don't even say GG. Unless I have a question for a survivor that I want to ask, I keep it disabled 99% of the time and it's made the experience so much better.
As someone else who struggles with mental health do what's best for you but DBD's toxicity is mostly censorable. You don't have to read end game chat if you don't want to, you don't have to go into other people's streams if you don't want to. It's not like FPS games where you have to hear people pretty much at all times in voice chat in order to play at a functional level because the game is centred around comms. DBD is not centred around comms in the slightest.
If you cannot handle DBD's optional toxicity then you will not be able to handle the toxicity in other games like Valorant where it's pretty much unavoidable unless you want to play the game poorly. End game chat, looking at people's streams, and comms are unnecessary in DBD and you can play the game pretty perfectly without it.
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If a single game is causing depressive episodes, that's extremely concerning. I'm glad you've taken that initiative. Disregard anybody telling you otherwise mate.
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It goes a lot deeper than that. People BM the hell out of you in a lot of your matches, just because you can't see what they are saying doesn't mean you don't know they are mocking you. And being mocked is not a good feeling.
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