This Is Becoming Exhausting
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I've never got messages like that (well, maybe called a camper or something) and I've played since 2017. You can play however you want, but maybe it's how you play if you get so many hate messages? Idk. Those messages are unacceptable, though.
Edit: I was actually told to kill myself once a couple of years ago, I think? Completely forgot about that when posting. 🤦♂️
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I've gotten messages like this while in a bad place mentally and it made things worse for me.
I honestly don't get why some people feel the need to attack others and say hurtful things over something as dumb as a video game. I really hope they get banned.
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I don't hope they get banned, a ban is temporary.
I really hope they realize the potential consequences of their hurtful words and change.
I was a dumb kid once too. I said things that I desperately wish I could take back, that I could never say today. I hope they grow in the same way, hopefully with fewer regrets than me.
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The very first message was "Unalive yourself" and they hadn't engaged at all at that point.
These accounts need reporting and banning.
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Being honest, in the first picture I had said gg to them prior to their messages or invites.
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What's worse about that is that a few years ago I was one of these kids sending hate messages over videogames. I actually have no clue if there is even a solution to that. The easy thing to say is "grow a spine" but that's obviously very hard for some people and it can get through most people when it becomes the norm. Sad.
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hello
one time not super long ago i got map offering'd to midwich as bubba
'o dam, a ton of long corridors and i'm trying out double speed addons, maybe can make something out of this' i thought
did you know midwich is a [eep]ing nightmare for bubba given there's a tight door that has a high chance of tantruming you everywhere you look containing a room with a very chainsaw-resistant loop, and some room entrances are 100% tantrum triggerers like the concrete wall hole?
i didn't, and despite all of this i ran into someone super early and caught them in the hallway with chainsaw
guess what? in a corner of the map without stairs, there was no hook accessible whatsoever, not even with agitation
no hook offerings, the map just decided to create a hook deadzone and i was dead center of it (and believe me i looked next time)
had to drop him, it was a byers, didn't proxy him and he was picked up extremely fast, but at least managed to get someone else not super long after that but that completely crushed my early momentum
the rest of the game was just an impossible to hold 'watch gens fly on a floor you're not on and never finding anyone because there's a million places to hide and you broadcast your approach quite massively' (in retrospect there was probably some voip swf involved)
so lategame comes around and i catch some people out and try to make something out of nothing, i fail and one slug crawls out and just take the one feng i whapped towards the end
now these survivors had quite a few things to say to me about running noed on bubba and having the audacity of m1ing two injured people with it
i don't remember much of what was said and it doesn't really matter what was said, but two of them, i think including byers said most of it
do you think they give a [sheesh] that those were the only perks i had on bubba? no, according to them i can just magically have a meta set
do you think byers who i think map offering'd me gave a [sheesh] that i got completely and utterly [eep]ed by rng at the start? of course not, he probably thought it just reinforces the fact i was a [sheesh]er in that i had to drop him and didn't proxy him out
do you think they'd have even the remotest sympathy for how double scratches [eep]ing destroys your power and makes you useless? they'd probably find it god damn hilarious in fact and berate you for it
my larger point is people say a lot of things and make huge donkeys out of themselves trying so hard to make up for their utterly crippling lack of self-worth and desperate need for validation, even in something as meaningless as being decent and able to abuse a game that loads the dice heavily in their favour, in reality it's them you should feel pity for, they ostracize themselves out of most social circles because nobody decent wants to bother with 'that person'
i hope sharing this bit helps in some way question mark, neru out
but also [eep] midwich on bubba jesus [eep]ing christ you actual [oop]clowns where the [eep] was a [eep]ing hook holy [sheesh]1 -
I think a lot of us were at some point.
Or if we weren't, we've done and said a lot of things we regret.
But yeah, it's wearing me down. I also feel guilty that I don't want to take that anymore, because then they'll find someone else. Maybe me responding and engaging is preventing someone else from being a target and by not doing that, I'm damning someone else.
I dunno, I think too much I guess.
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I don't want to target anyone, so I won't quote answers. But... For the ones who think it's fine because we can ignore such messages:
Seriously. Stop saying it's the victim's fault. Pulsar shouldn't receive such messages to start with. It happens to me too, to be mad because I've been tunneled, camped, a Survivor clicked their flashlight to me to show me how strong they were... And, does it justify me to send a deat threat in return?
No, and never. Also, stop acting people aren't sensitive. Some of us are VERY sensitive. But I know the answer: don't play online game/grow a thicker skin.
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Comparing tunneling to telling another person to commit suicide, wow. How old are you? 12?
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"Kid" doesn't cut it anymore tbh. I was a kid too and I was never like these people.
I don't even know how to call them people at this point since they just act on their impulses whenever their ego gets bruised. They don't care about anyone else.
I lost hope in humanity long time ago so it kinda helps tbh lol.
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I have my messages private for randoms from 2018. Problem solved.
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I'm ashamed to say that I was.
But I changed and realized the consequences of my actions and how much I was hurting people I had called friends.
I don't believe they are evil, but maybe you are right.
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I wasn't speaking about you. I don't believe you did the same thing at all.
You seem like a nice person so I refuse to believe you are kind of a person who told someone to off themselves etc.
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I know, but I speak from experience.
Everyone can change. Even me, and I was a huge #########.
I try to make up for it these days though.
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remember that this is the dbd community, they not only consider this stuff as perfectly acceptable but endorse it.
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[clicks 50 times a second] wants to know your location
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that's an ignorant reply. He got death threats sent to him...
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Isn't there like a setting so only friends can message you? I just found it on the website, seems like an easy fix, but given this post i think you enjoy engaging with these people so you can 'woe is me' on the forums.
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These people are already completelly disturbed and mentally ill, trying to reasoning with this kind is the same to talk to a wall. Or you make clear that they are just a bunch of virgin dumping they frustation on other or just simply block and dont answer.
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First off thanks for assuming the worst of me. I appreciate that.
Secondly, DBD is not the only game I play. I have to type in my password to change those settings, which is a big inconvenience to have to change my settings everytime I decide to play DBD.
Finally, even if I were to change my settings to that, as of about a year ago, you could add someone as a friend and message them to get around that.
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I don't know how you grew thick skin after seeing these horrible messages over and over again..
I just started playing as Killer and i came into the match with that in mind, that there is a big chance to get hate message like this. after reading this post fully, i don't know if i want to keep on playing and take a risk to get a message like this, even on PC.
At this point, this game is not worth it. our mental health and self love and care are more important.
I think it would be wise to leave the game altogether or at least find a way not to see messages.
It's not worth that pain at all.
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at least find a way not to see messages.
Turn messages off besides messages from friends.
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Just do it if someone is legit spamming you for 6+ hours. Or, sit there and laugh as they waste their own time.
You have options
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1) Disengage: Do not respond to them and distance yourself from whom act this way.
2) Disconnect: Adjust available settings and disable connection access from these persons to you.
3) Desensitize: Do not allow them to affect you emotionally and personally.
All of the above can be surprisingly difficult to remember to implement in that moment, as we are somewhat hardwired to react/respond intuitively, and forget that we dont have to, and have options not to.
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One thing thats helped me both not to be toxic myself as well not to lower myself to toxicity from others, is the "10 Breath" technique.
Close your eyes, perform ten slow relaxed breaths whilst thinking of your priorities and options.
You may be surprised how your conscience responds, how much easier it gets to see the situation clearly, gain perspective on it, reminder rise of your options, and ways out from an emotional/reactive trap that falsely "feels" compelling at the time, but actually isnt.
Another way to express this, is you re-gain control and power of yourself and the situation, from your baser nature and what they are trying to force you into.
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Oddly enough, its similar to being chased as a Survivor by a Killer in DBD, which forces a sort of artificial crisis. Ingame ofc you dont have 10 breaths time to try to think clearly, but there also you make bad decisions and forget your available options if you let the Killer take control.
Likewise, as Killer, if you allow tea-bagging, clicking and other assorted bullying get into your head, they have taken control of the situation to your detriment, and you arent thinking clearly and performance suffers.
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This is one of the reasons why I think BHVR needs to assign everyone a DBD ID for players to see in game. More often than not I see that players are getting messages like this. If BHVR assigns DBD IDs it would make it so people can't go to someone else's account/send messages and make it easier for reporting.
If you get streamers sending these messages I'm going to guess they are saying terrible things on stream too. SpooknJukes has started making videos calling out these players thanks to people sending him videos/chats of them being sore winners/losers. If their videos show the toxicity on stream that they're showing in messages send it over to him.
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Yea, must be really tough for him to just turn notifications off for a day, lol.
So many solutions but they don't want to use any of them
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You know, I genuinely like to send "goodmail" to the people I play with. Although I'm more in a mentally good place now, back then I seriously wasn't. Seeing something like this can really hurt someone, and those people are so blinded by spite and rage they don't care what they're saying. It's the psychology of being behind screens that gives you more confidence in your words, I guess.
Still, that dude needs to be reported ASAP. I can't imagine how unstable they are if a mere game makes them explode like that.
Also nice Palpatine pfp
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I agree, that is true. But some people may not be that strong-minded, and could actually be severely hurt hearing that.
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ehh i just tested this a bunch with the setting to friends and it didn't matter how many times I sent messages or requests to the account that I had friended nothing ever came through, at all.
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I would not encourage/recommend making this kind of behavior a streaming related "circus" or for it to be construed as "content".
There are various legal liabilities (for streamer (especially if earning off it), the streaming platform thus also earning, the game platform itself, and the persons each participant as to their rights), and many ethical issues involved with that.
All of this is in rather murky waters due to how relatively "new "all involved in this in terms of legality across many areas of law, and as an indirect extension/issue in that, also TOS/EULA and other service provider/client contracts are themselves rather murky in their expansiveness.
Live streaming of games in which there are other human players recorded/displayed without their consent is in and of itself on rather shaky legal ground, as are manifold related IP issues, not to mention profiting off them financially (and by whom).
Its best not to push the envelope on these issues too far, nor antagonize against this certain kind of levity in laws that are "allowed" via unspecifity.
IE: In laxer specificity, everyone has more room to arbitrate on their own circumstances. If that is "abused", and the law has to take notice, the results may be signficantly more restrictive in ways that will have far greater impact on everyone, than many might imagine.
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Well, that is why I said a year ago.
I haven't had occasion to do this until recently.
The guy who made all those alt accounts prompted me to set everything to Friends Only, so he friended me and got around it.
I am glad to hear that is no longer the case.
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1) Sending "goodmail" has issues involved also, albeit its counterintuitive to understand why, as though in your view "intentions are good" and its content is nominally positive:
1a) That mail nonetheless is unsolicited. They didnt ask you for your feedback.
1b) You dont know what their situation/condition/perspective is, and they might be in fits of anger/frustration that they dont express over how the match went, to which your "goodmail" is just fuel thrown onto a fire.
1c) A predecent or trend of "goodmail" can lead to an expectation of such, which is onerous and burdensome on both parties. IE: That if you dont send or receive a "goodmail" from all, its negligence to be construed as dissaproval.
2) You are presuming to judge negatively the person that expresses anger/frustration in the game or outside of it, without knowing what their life is like. This is a paradox, because though you on the one hand acknowledge that that behavior is probably psychologically caused by an unhappy life, you add insult to injury on it.
If you accept that a person behaves negatively because they have problems, then you (note: you, not staff) punishing them for it just makes their situation worse, and you are then actively part and complicit of that.
3) Regarding the case above, and points above, reporting is valid when there is cause as them having violated the rules of the 3rd party platform of the terms/conditions all using it have agreed to, but:
3a) One should not oneself instigate an exchange that provokes or exacerbates further the situation.
3b) One should not abuse the report system, and rules of terms/conditions thus.
3c) IE: If there is something to report, do so, and its incumbent on staff (in their contract of employment) to deal with violations of contract by clients, but not YOU to do so, nor are you entitled to that.
4) Technically, its the client themself that are the one that must make a complaint of violations against them, not bystanders that are not the target of it.
5) If you yourself are provoking/antagonising another client to negative actions that would violate rules, arguably you yourself are also violating rules.
6) TLDR: Report to staff if someone violated terms of service against you, but otherwise keep quiet and do not provoke on it, as its not yours to arbitrate or act upon. This also applies in the sense that if the violation is not against you yourself, but another, its the choice of that other whether to report it or not. As a client, you are in a contract with the service provider, not with other clients.
7) You yourself admitted you used to behave toxically before. So you are not above this, and if you where granted that levity before and changed your behavior in time, you ought to be the first to recognize that if it worked for you then it ought work for others too.
Its ironic, but its often those that feel guilt for what they themselves have done in the past, but have changed since (but where unpunished), are the ones that most demand hard punishment for that in others, that they themselves never endured. Now THAT is psychological.
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Please see:
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I'm sorry that that keeps on happening to you @Pulsar
I'm that person who trys to send a GG at the end of every match that has Xbox players in it
Also I am that person who used to egg on toxicity... to hopefully get it all out of the other person and myself... LOL
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Equip vigil you'll recover faster
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Most people think having empathy means coming to say therly are sorry as opposed to offering any form of help solving the problem which is seen often as mean for some reason.
This post is in no way a criticism of the dbd devs and should not be taken as such. It is also not intended to point out any forum rules being violated both of which are understood to be against forum rules.
Post edited by wxnickxw on1 -
It's crazy how you say this. I would never be mean to someone I know is in a bad way. I'm not sure you can actually ever know if someone was not doing good. And saying to someone that they should just be nice to everyone is the same as telling everyone to edit behavior toward people who are taking advantage or are mentally hurting you. It's not fair especially in the situation you had because (even though you said you weren't camping and tunneling) someone who sees that message wouldn't understand that. I mean if we're gonna talk about "what ifs" then what if you were camping and tunneling and you put these people in such a horrible mind set that they took their own lives. Would it be your fault? The game creators fault for allowing it? The communities fault for not doing more to prevent it? Honestly you can only truly look after your own mentality. And if the game or the others that play it are making you feel like killing yourself. Then it might be time to walk away from it at least till you are in a better mindset to deal with these things. And it isn't to much to ask someone to seek professional help. You can only give your best guess to how someone is doing in their lives alot of people with depression are the ones that smile the most. But like I said asking them to be nice to others isn't necessarily fair, like you said they think you were tunneling when you weren't but they still think you were and because of that it put them in a bad state of mind. To them you look like a horrible person when in fact you are not. You think they are horrible for saying those things but they are only saying it due to a misunderstanding. You can't really ask someone to be nice when misunderstandings are possible or when they are not mentally well. It sucks but you can only truly be responsible for your own mental health.
I talk about these things because a few people here seems to think that because I said I didn't feel sympathy for you. ( until you said you weren't tunneling ect.) They said I was telling you to commitsuicide. I never said that and I would never want that so I give my opinion on the matter.
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If the game was more fair and easier for the survivor side, you would have a greater population of survivors at the higher MMR. Unfortunately the game is way too hard for survivors to escape.
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God, I feel bad for you, Pulsar. You seem to get dickheads like this far more than any of the rest of us.
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It's probably karma for how I was when I was younger lol
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Did you used to act like this?
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Maybe not quite as bad, but yeah, I was a toxic arrogant ######### until one of my dearest friends gave me the wakeup call of a lifetime.
Since then, I've tried my best to be better.
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When I first started playing DbD, my friend and I would act like your typical annoying survivor mains, until we both started playing killer ourselves and realized how bad it was. If I could, I'd go back in time and punch myself in the face.
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Yeah same.
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No literally though, most Xbox games are just the BS messages left and right.
Xbox really needs to step up their system too because I've had pretty bad messages sent to me that were avoidable by the system smh.
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Yah and I think your going to see more and more of it as time goes on.
for whatever reason it seems people are getting more and more effected by comments online and less and less able to utilize any type of solution. Many solutions, like those being proposed to help by other people in this forum seem to get ignored unfortunately
This post is in no way a criticism of the dbd devs and should not be taken as such. It is also not intended to point out any forum rules being violated both of which are understood to be against forum rules.
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Pulsar you gotta keep in mind this is a video game and these people can't do ######### to you as soon as you block them it's like they never existed. I've been told bad things and i laugh at them because they're so insignificant to me. If they felt the need to act that way obviously they wanted the validation which responding gives them.
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Beautifully put. This is exactly how I feel.
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