I Need Opinions -- [RANT] [LONG]
~~~~~~~~~~BEFORE I START I WANT TO ESTABLISH 4 THINGS~~~~~~~~~~
[1] I’m going to use "going out to lunch" for my main reference. I know there are other reasons why friends would meet up together but going out to eat is my example to make things easier.
[2] Showing up 5-10 minutes past a scheduled time is not late to me. Anything could have happened—maybe your dog needed to use the bathroom, maybe traffic was bad, maybe you ran into construction, maybe you had a hard time finding the restaurant.
[3] If a friend is generally on time but shows up late a few times I don’t consider that chronic. Sometimes that just happens.
[4] I won’t stop being friends with someone when they suddenly start showing up late to everything. My first assumption would be that something is wrong—depression, or something.
~~~~~~~~~~INTRODUCTION~~~~~~~~~~
I was scrolling on TikTok like two weeks ago and I came across a video “watch my friend be late to work every day”. In the video the friend would be scheduled to work at like 11am and not even start getting ready UNTIL 11. I made the comment “she can do her, but I could never be late like that, nor could I ever be friends with a chronically late person”. Apparently this is the most controversial thing this side of the 21st century.
~~~~~~~~~~COMMENTS I RECIEVED~~~~~~~~~~
PERSON 1--“why lol”
I replied “because if somebody is late everywhere, every time, without fail then in my opinion they don’t value my time enough to show up on time.
PERSON 2--“if you value punctuality over someone who will always show up, and be there when you need them then your priorities are wack”
I replied these: [1] “I value punctuality AND showing up. I value honesty, respect, kindness. See how I can value multiple things. I also like multiple colors.”
[2] “people who are punctual ARE always there, that’s kind of what that word implies. Except they’re always there on time.”
[3] “If someone can’t show up on time, then they AREN’T there when I need them. A relative died and I needed you THIS MORNING when it happened. Its 6pm now. I’ve started grieving without you. You aren’t there for me when I need you if you’re never there on time.”
PERSON 3--“then you’re missing out on the best people.”
I replied, “if someone can never be bothered to show up on time to anything, then all I’m missing out on is disrespect.”
PERSON 4--“what if it has nothing to do with you [adhd]”
I replied these: [1] “Even people with ADHD can prioritize.”
[2] “Why should I always have to be the one wasting an hour out of my day each time waiting at the restaurant for you? Why can’t you waste an hour out of your day leaving the house early is you know you can’t be there on time.”
[3] “If you know you get most distracted during the afternoon why can’t you suggest breakfast or dinner instead of lunch? That is a reasonable request. Do you know what is not a reasonable request? Expecting me to wait hours on end for you to finally remember that I exist.”
[4] “Why are you assuming people with disabilities are incapable of basic human functions? It seems more ableist and disrespectful to assume that just because someone has a disability that they are unable to put effort into anything. If you know you struggle to arrive on time to thing why can’t you set alarms, leave early, anything? Why are you infantilizing people with disabilities?”
~~~~~~~~~~CONCLUSION~~~~~~~~~~
I got only a couple comments that agreed that they couldn’t be friends with people who are chronically late to everything. In my opinion it’s not funny, or cute to disrespect somebodies time and effort. If you can’t even put in minimal effort into being on time, I won’t even put in minimal effort into even speaking with you.
Am I in the wrong here? Do you agree with me?
Oh I forgot someone commented “I could also never be friends with someone like that…but I am a chronically late friend *sad face*” How hypocritical is that?