Anxiety of playing my desired role
Do any of you know that feeling, a certain kind of fear, anxiety and nervousness when you think about playing Killer?
I have a problem with that and would like to know your feelings.
I play both sides. I play solo survivor. When I play solo survivor I always have a big desire to play killer because solo survivor sucks.
The difference is: when I start the game to play survivor I'm calm. While I know I'll be upset and frustrated playing solo survivor, I'm still calm when I start the game and I'm also not scared or nervous when the match starts.
But when I really want to play Killer, most of the time I can't even launch the game, because I feel so uncomfortable with the thought of playing killer, that I rather play another game. Or when I DO launch the game, I sit in front of the main menu, stare at the screen for minutes.... and switch back to survivor.
I have new killers that I haven't played once since I bought them because I just can't bring myself to play them.
And even with killers I've owned longer, and even had success with, I can't bring myself to play them again. I haven't played Killer in weeks and it bothers me so much because I really want to play Killer instead of solo survivor.
Why do I feel this way? Why can't I even play killers that I'm actually good with? Why am I suddenly so scared and uncomfortable?
I feel like the longer I own DBD the worse this fear of playing killer gets. It wasn't like that at the beginning and I don't understand what's going on with me.
I know there probably aren't any psychologists in this forum, but maybe there are other players who know this strange feeling and can tell me what they did to overcome it.
I would also like to say that it's not about winning for me. For me it´s all about having fun and earn BP. I would be totally fine with not killing anyone if I had some good chases, hooks and a decent amount of BP at the end.
So it's definitely not the fear of losing.
It is something different. And I have no idea what it is.
Probably have to wait for bots , so I can play killer again without anxiety, lol
Comments
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Certainly, I think we all had/have it to an extent until you get confident enough to jump in the battle no matter the odds.
Performance anxiety is real and the way I got over it was to just tell myself take the match chase by chase and don't get too hung up on winning or losing, play each chase to your best. If you get bested at a loop, drop chase and find someone else but keep trying.
It gets easier and I totally feel you, unfortunately this happens to all athletes, performers, etc,... you gotta play through it until it no longer effects you.
good luck in your next match
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Yes, maybe it actually has something to do with this. Fear of giving a bad performance, fear of 4 people making fun of me. You don't even need the PGC for this, you can already feel it in the match if the 4 survivors don't take you seriously.
I'm a grown person, I live alone and I have my own household and I almost feel stupid to feel anxiety about a video game. I often try to tell myself that the survivors who make fun of you or even try to bully you are probably teenagers and not grown people who have both feet on the ground. But somehow that doesn't help either. Like I said ... I feel almost stupid
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i have the same feeling.
i think part of this is due to the fact that you are alone against four as a killer. the survivors even as a solo survivor have 3 others to save them or blame for losing. when you play killer you are the only one on your side and you can blame only yourself (and perks, maps, and other things, but survivors can blame the same too so it's not an exclusive thing). this can put a lot of pressure.
you also remember the bad matches more than the good matches in dead by daylight. you wouldn't want to play killer because of a horrible swf experience even if you like the killer. it's very discouraging to even think about. the reward for playing killer is tiny compared to the pain you have to go through in my opinion.on the contrary, if every match in solo survivor is expected to be a death with the blame put on your teammates, that isn't a bad match anymore. it's the ordinary, and therefore the rare good matches are savored much more playing solo survivor.
then there's the fear of playing badly, especially on something you're good at, and that's not exclusive to dead by daylight. you're not gaining anything of value by pushing yourself in dead by daylight so why bother. that's just the competitive spirit in a person. everyone wants to show off their skills, but if you're putting in so much just to show off to four randoms, it doesn't feel worth it.
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Whenever I start a match as killer I get a slight cold rush.
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Yes I know what you mean. I played survivor yesterday and we were up against a one yellow perk nurse. She didn't stand a chance, she didn't hit a single blink and gens flew. 3 of us alreday left but one of my teammates ran back to her on purpose after the gates were open to loop her to the last second to show her their dominance. They didn't even give her a little hit for BP. I found it disgusting.
I then wrote to the person in the PGC that really I respect them for playing Nurse because she´s so difficult to learn. I just felt sorry for the player and wanted to leave them a few kind words.
You seem to be just like me, waiting for bots to escape from real people if you want to play killer.
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It’s what pushed me to give up killer. I only play killer when there is a cosmetic in the rift I want and need to do some challenges, so I just farm and not worry about winning.
Playing a role in a video game should never elicit these feelings.
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The game is very unbalanced towards survivors. There's a lot of toxicity in the game. Its not unusual for anyone to feel anxiety when you play killer. Unless you're a god tier Nurse or Blight then you're probably in for a tough time.
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Yes. Sometimes I feel anxiety when I'm about to play killer :(
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Yes i can totally relate and i‘m really glad it isn‘t just me. For a while i was able to still get in a few games as killer despite the anxiety being there but nowadays i just can’t. It‘s way too stressful for me and my heart would race before i look for a lobby/when the match starts. I thought it couldn’t be healthy at all because i deal with anxiety irl too, why deal with it in a game when they are supposed to help you relax? Eventually i decided it wasn’t worth the struggle. I exclusively play SWF now.
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I used to get SUPER stressed playing killer, but then I started caring less about gens. I changed the focus of the match from winning to just taking away something positive- be it 4 BBQ stacks, a measurable increase in skill, or just a fun and wholesome experience, and started to put the emphasis only on improving my skill as a player, and I think you’ll have a lot more fun that way too. Special emphasis on that part about focusing on my own skill because you said you didn't really care too much about whether you win or lose. I think that you're feeling anxious because you're not exactly sure what you need to do when you're loading in to the match, or what you're playing to work towards. It's good to have a long term goal that isn't something vague or has a million variables you can't control like "have fun".
Post edited by DoritoHead on1 -
Sometimes I get that anxiety as Killer when I queue for my first match. After I play one though it goes away.
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If I didn't play in a while, yeah.
This only happens when I play killer and never with survivor.
Probably something to do with the roles. As a surv I can allow myself to fail and feel helpless because I should be weak. As a killer there is just too much pressure to perform and you are all alone, no one to take your side. This is probably ingrained in our brains since the "old" days.
I'm not saying this goes for everyone, it is just how I personally feel about it.
When I had a few killer games it gets better, but waiting for the first one makes me uncomfortable a bit, if I had a break.
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I'll play a fun, inefficient build to ease myself into the role for a game or two. Having no expectation to win really makes the subsequent games easier to stomach.
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It's not about win. Did you at least read his/her post?
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Yeah, that's my bad. I didn't word this well enough, i was just sharing my personal experience.
I'll edit my comment for more clarity.
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Guys, thanks for the answers. Really, I am glad that I am not the only one with feelings of anxiety.
There is another thing going on in my head right now.
What do you think would have to happen for your anxiety to go away?
Buff the weaker killers so that they have better chances against swf and not get bullied into the ground?
But then solo queue would have a huge problem, which already sucks. So that can't be the solution.
I've asked myself this question so many times what could be done, but I can't come up with a satisfactory answer.
You can't get solo queue anywhere near swf.
Even if BHVR puts some icons in solo queue to show other players what you are doing, it doesn't bring solos anywhere near swf.
And if you buff killer to not have it so hard against swf, solo survivors suffer even more than they already do.
When I read through the forum and also think about my own feelings, one thing is pretty clear.
Solo survivor and killer have a hard time in the game. I never read such topics about fears and frustrations from swf players.
However, since swf and discord will always be a part of the game, I can only conclude that it is impossible to balance the game so that killers and solo survivors can have a good time as well. SWF is just way too strong and dominant now that it seems impossible for me to ever balance the game at this point again.
That's why I'm so looking forward to the bots (regardless of whether I'm a survivor or killer) to have a relaxed and chill time in the game and not anxiety and stress.
What do you think about that ? Do you think it´s still possible to change the game to make it better for killers and solo survivors?
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My answer is that people should change in better. We should be nicer to each other, but I guess that's impossible.
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Yeah I get this for the first killer match of the day. Just try to empty your mind and queue up, focus on whatever challenge you're working on.
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I'll sometimes get anxious wanting to play killer because of the fear of being humiliated in some way. As killer, the fault of a bad play usually rests solely on you. However, this fear for me usually disappears the moment I enter the match itself cuz I realize Im just trying to have fun. Even if I do poorly in the match, I won't feel bad because I think of the loss as a learning opportunity to determine what bad plays I made and what I can do to improve instead of feeling humiliated. The end game chat people are usually nice too if you simply say gg wp.
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Nah, you are alone. All the killer mains outlining this issue are just bots. Killer is fine. Realistically survivor is the role the game is rigged against. Have you ever played solo survivor?
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Yeah, it's because playing survivor is easy compared to playing killer. It's less stressful when it's easier
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I don't have that as much with playing killer, because I usually take those games way less seriously. And I always have this wicked smile of I'm the bad guy now! So run and hide survivors *insert evil laughter* xD
However, I know how you feel cus I sometimes have that as a survivor, especially when there are TTV's in the lobby. While some of them are small streamers and all-around goofballs, others have hundreds of viewers and it's like oh good lord, I do not wanna be the teammate that can't loop the killer for at least 2 gens or something.
Whenever I have more than 1 killer game that goes south, I just switch up the killer and their perks or even put a map offering in. If my games still aren't fun I switch back to survivor or go to my comfort game lol. Maybe that might work for you as well? Or trying to play killer vs your friends/in custom lobbies? Also if end-game chat is playing any sort of role in that feeling, you could always turn it off! Because people don't know you personally and it's never anything against you as a person, just a remark on 1 game out of x many.
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I may not understand for killers but I do understand for survivors. I get anxiety and a feeling of dread loading up the game and playing survivor. I'm not sure why and it's been happening for a while
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Killer is best played in short bursts. I take a break after every match. One thing you will notice is once you are in the match, many times it is not as bad as your imagination assumed it would be.
I also take deep breaths as I load in and have a terrible aspect to my eyes in my focus and eventually frenzy
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PVP isn't for everyone. The reason why you do fine playing survivor is because pressure is put on the whole team, as opposed to just you when playing killer. It could be that that role isn't suited for you because you're not used to that type of stress.
How you build that up may seem as simple as saying "just play through it".. but I think it goes beyond that. You need the desire to be very good in a competitive game and I know a lot of people struggle with that, and not only with this game. It's like how FPS games like Quake Champions or CPMA. Those games on release were able to draw in all kinds of players for free for all/casual modes, but when it came to a pure duel, maybe 1/50th of the playerbase had any fun because it was stressful. *This game isn't nearly as demanding and it is asymmetrical, but I think you know what I mean.
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And as far as SWF is concerned. I feel that the way this game is balanced and how it's targeted to a more casual audience, the BEST SWF teams SHOULD beat the best killer on average. I say that because more people (than now) will get destroyed by a killer that's buffed to handle the best SWF.. and that wouldn't be smart business. They definitely should buff killers and solo queue, but with all the perks and RNG elements, I'm not all that confident in their ability to make it less stressful any time soon, short of forcing a 2k/2e every game.
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I really don't think your feelings are invalid, let alone silly! Playing killer is such a stressful role because you constantly have to think about your macro and your micro game at the same time. You're the prime decision maker of the game as you have a lot influence on who to chase where and when, how to use your power and which gens to protect or even sacrifice (almost like in a game of chess).
One thing that helps me is to come up with "mini games" or specific challenges, such as getting to 5 stacks of pentimento or "snipes-only" huntress, where I'd find some high ground and just snipe from there. The latter has landed me some hilarious interactions with survivors as well, once they realise what you're doing, most of them are more than happy to play that minigame with you. 😂
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I don't really have that anxiety but if I get a match where I get a match or a few where the Survivors are absolutely invincible, then I'll stop playing Killer not because I feel anxious, but because I am pissed off by the fact that 6 years later and Survivors are still moslty invincible when playing efficient.
I'll play Survivor or another game instead of Killer, not because of fear or anxiety but out of anger.
And yeah, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate and hate leads to suffering. That sentence somehow works irl too, so I stop as soon as I feel anger, and usually it starts with anger in my case.
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I feel the same. Even with the Killers im good with i get this anxiety.
For me its the fear of being humiliated by the other Side. When i play Survivor and the Killer is toxic i can just kill myself and go onto the next Game.
But as Killer you have to push through it. No matter how many Pallets are smacked on your head. Or how many Flashlights are clicked. How many Deadhards take your hit and how many Butt dances you have to endure.
Even going afk isnt the solution as Survivors can just not do the gens and keep bm'ing you.
I just wanna have fun. Not get bullied by someone else.
I hope Bot Matches give BP aswell. So i can just play that instead of having to face bullying for trying to have fun as Killer.
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It’s SWF fault. They are the reason you guys are full of anxiety & the game is imbalanced for solo Que players. Are y’all ready to get rid of them yet??
The game will NOT die if they’re gone. Buffing solo Que is NOT the answer. They need to go from public matches. They can play with each other and suck each other off in Kill With Friends mode.
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Stop thinking that you need to win every game. I had simmilar feelings lately, but recently I started playing trapper with no slowdown or info perks. For example I play with thrill, retribution, haunted and devour, and I do everything to protect totems, or agitation, mad grit, iron grasp and something else and I'm trying to bait protection hits. If I lose - who cares - I am literally playing trapper with no slowdown or info. And if you win - it feels 3x better than winning with your main with meta perks. At the same time, playing without super strong perks will help you improve.
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Don't forget the teams that wait until the last fraction of a second during endgame. Both doors are open and they refuse to leave as a final middle finger to the killer.
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It's not even about fear as many don't respect you as a player and a person sometimes.
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I've had the exact feeling a while back. I still get anxious when I try and adept or don't have a build I'm comfortable with.
I don't remember what changed, but I'm pretty sure in the beginning I just made myself power through the first few games, and then it's smooth sailing from there (since you get in the rythym and mindset of playing killer).
The other thing I can recommend is to always try and have some exhaustion (let's be honest, mainly dead hard) perk counter. Fearmonger is great on stealth killers and oke on some high mobility ones. Blood Echo us a god send on Legion. Or maybe even (I know, I know) unrelenting on m1 killers.
To sum up, idk which part of playing killer makes you anxious, but for me I'm sure it was/is the worry of facing tryhards (which are in most games), and I'm going to screw the whole structure of this sentence, but I just realised somethin. Playing killer is just stresful in general. It's a 1v4. And having no information perks in a build is really stresful as well, because you don't know where people are (thinking barbeque and chilli / discordance / spies from the shadows) and you have to make decisions based on your instinct or some little information that you got (or just guess that survivors may be in A spot).
But yeah... um. Thx for coming to my Ted talk :p. Idk, playing killer is fine, specially if you are bound to solo q as survivor. Easier to get BP too as killer. I hope my experience helps you understand yours and yeah. Atleast there will be a way to warm up before playing when bots get added, ey ?
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No, because it's a video game? Why in the hell would you play a video game if it gives you anxiety before you even start a match?
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Performance anxiety is a common problem for many people, you are not alone. @IWantCandys You have to realize that it does not matter what the outcome of the match is, it is a videogame. Nobody is demanding anything, All you can do as Killer is try to kill Survivors.
Survivor toxicity is bad, they will goat you if you are bad, and they used to tell you to do horrible things to yourself too.
However its not so bad anymore actually. 👍️ BHVR.
But you got to ignore the hecklers in Post Game Chat. They are wasting their own time.
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You're not alone in your feelings. I took a very long break from killer. The reason I started back though was because I saw how much I was missing out. The grind was even slower, I had done all the survivor challenges in the tomes and I loved the skins for killers that I wasn't playing from the rifts.
When I restarted killer I used Trapper and Wraith first and legion (before his most recent buff). Trapper helped me remember how to plan things and think ahead, wraith helped me sneak up and figure out where survivors could go and legion to help track through match and case better.
I stank for at least 2 weeks and would only play a max of 4 games a night as killers with a survivor game in between. I limited myself until I felt comfortable enough to try other killers like plauge or clown or ghostface.
Ease yourself and tell yourself you don't care don't go to the exit gates at the end of a match when they are open, look for a good song to listen too or reward yourself with a drink or snack or pet your pet. Focus on what you did right in the match and ask yourself what did I learn from this?
How much value did I get from my perks? Was the map the map my weakness or survivors? It's okay you'll get better just baby steps to calm yourself.
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""Do any of you know that feeling, a certain kind of fear, anxiety and nervousness when you think about playing Killer?""
I understand this feeling, when im in good mood i try just to "go, play and ######### it" but sometimes the bully dont help tbh. So yes, i understand that feeling, may be just not at same level.
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Sometimes I have that kind of feeling but it's usually when I try killer which im not that good at using. I always get bit nervous playing nurse but once I get first down it goes away. But sometimes I bit stress even I play my mains and even im pretty good killer I 3-4K most my games and do well.
What I would say just go out there and play if you don't care about kills you should be fine as killer you still usually get more bp than survivors even if they all escape.
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Bully squads are annoying but it's always funny to destroy them. I don't really care if I get pallet stunned it happens and lot of times I manage get hit throught them. Agains't full flashlight squad I usually equip lightborn or franklin demise. Well survivors usually realise im not that kind of killer they can bully but it's usually too late at that point and it can end in slugfest for them.
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I started out as a killer main, but I became more and more stressed about it, and now only really play killer to do rift challenges. Every time, before I switch over to killer, I brace myself like it's going to be an ordeal -- I don't look forward to it at all.
For me, the social aspect was definitely the main part of it. It really bothered me to feel like people were ganging up to bully me or like I was being ostracized or shamed for no reason except trying to play a video game. My experience has been a lot better since the new MMR but I still have this feeling like, "Oh, man. Is this match going to be normal, or is it going to be horrible?" every time I load into a killer game.
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That is how us versus them works, I suppose. My sister was harassed by killer mains for making fun of a toxic killer for generalizing all survivors as those weird rulebook thumping types and they took that to mean that she was a survivor player. And they act just the same as those generic bully survivors do. It is just you only ever see one of them in the game.
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Because the game is unfair. You start the game and the first chase IS THE GAME. You find a survivor that can run you in the beginning and the game is now lopsided beyond recovery. 1 minute and the survivors can complete 60-70% percent of there easy objective. You down someone quickly in the beginning and you have a chance.
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