IMPROVED fan chapter: Shadow In Chains

Huntedfailure

CHAPTER: THE SHADOW IN CHAINS

KILLER: THE SHADOW IS A KILLER BASED AROUND STAYING IN A CHASE AND DOWNING SURVIVOR’S FASTER

KILLER BIO: THOMAS MILLER WAS BORN IN TO A FAMILY OBSESSED WITH NATURE AND WANTED TO SEPARATE THE SELVES FROM TECHNOLOGY BUT THOMAS WAS FASCINATED BY THE MODERN WORLD AND WISHED TO EXPLORE IT BUT THAT GOT HIM EMOTIONALLY OR PHYSICALLY ABUSED BUT THAT DIDN’T STOP HIM AS HE WOULD WEAR MORE MODERN CLOTHES AND SNEAK THINGS INTO HIS FAMILY CABIN TO TINKER WITH AND UNDERSTAND. EVENTUALLY ON ONE OF HIS ROUTINE SECRET TRIPS TO THE NEAREST TOWN HE MEET TO KIDS HENRY AND DIANNA AND THEY SPARKED A CONVERSATION WITH THE SOCIALLY INEPT THOMAS AND DESPITE HIS BAD CONVERSATION SKILLS THEY EVENTUALLY BEFRIENDED AND THIS FRIEND SHIP GREW TO THE POINT WHERE HE REVEALED HIS HOME LIFE AND SOON AFTER HE LEFT FOR THE NIGHT HIS FRIENDS TOLD THE POLICE AND A FEW DAYS LATER THOMAS OPENED THE DOOR TO TWO POLICE OFFICERS WANTING TO QUESTION HIS PARENTS AND THEY DID WHICH REVEALED NOTHING INCRIMINATING AND WHEN THE OFFICERS LEFT THE ABUSE GOT WORSE. ONE-DAY TOMMY SEEMED DIFFERENT HE HAD AN AURA FOLLOW HIM AND HIS FRIENDS PICKED UP ON THIS CAUSING THEM TO ASK IF HE WAS OK THIS CAUSED TEARS TO SWELL UP IN HIS EYES AS HE REVEALED THE BRUISES AND SCARS FROM HIS DAD THIS CAUSED HIS FRIENDS TO PLAN ANOTHER POLICE MEETING THE NEXT DAY. WHEN HE GOT HOME HIS FATHER IMMEDIATELY GRABBED HIM AND THREW HIM AGAINST THE WALL THIS CAUSED HIS FATHER’S COMBAT KNIFE TO FALL FROM THE SHELF AND IN A MOMENT OF INSTINCT HE GRABBED THE KNIFE AND STABBED HIM IN THE CHEST AND THIS CAUSED THOMAS TO LUNGE FORWARD IN A MOMENT OF POWER AND GUT HIS FATHER HIS MOTHER SAW THIS AND RUSHED HIM WITH A BAT BUT SHE NEVER GOT TO USE IT. NOW COVERED IN HIS FAMILY’S BLOOD HE FELT TERROR RUSH THROUGH HIM AS HE REALIZED WHAT HE HAD DONE HE BURNT THE CABIN DOWN AND FLED THE SCENE TO TOWN AND HID TRACKING DOWN HIS FRIENDS AND PULLING THEM ASIDE HE EXPLAINED WHAT HAPPENED AND EVEN IN TERROR THEY COMFORTED HIM AND CALLED THE POLICE IN HOPE THAT THEY’D SORT IT OUT. THOMAS SAT IN THE BACK OF A POLICE CRUISER WEEPING AS HIS FRIENDS TAILED BEHIND AND WHEN THEY GOT TO THE STATION HE WAS NOTHING BUT COOPERATIVE BUT THAT CHANGED WHEN HE FELT SOMETHING WHISPER TO HIM TELLING HIM THAT HE ENJOYED HIS HORRIFIC ACTS AND AFTER DAYS OF BEING IN TRAPPED IN THE SMALL ENCLOSED AND DULL SPACES OF THE STATION HE BEGAN TALKING TO IT DIRECTLY BUT ONLY IN HIS HEAD AND AS THE CHAOS OF EVERYTHING GOT TO HIM HE DIDN’T REALIZE WHAT THE POOL OF UNDER HIS FOOT WAS UNTIL HE SAW HENRY'S FACE AND HEARD DIANNA’S SCREAM AND BEFORE HE COULD REACT HE FELT A FEAR RUSH OVER HIM AS HE RAN OUT OF THE STATION AND INTO THE WOODS BEFORE PASSING OUT DUE TO EXHAUSTION NEAR HIS NOW BLACKENED HOME BUT WHEN HE AWOKE IT WAS NOW SOMEWHAT INTACT AND SEVERAL PEOPLE WERE NOW RUMMAGING AROUND IN ITS FOG COVERED ASHES.

“A NEW MONSTER HAUNTS THIS PLACE, A YOUNG MAN WITH HEAD HUNG LOW IN DESPAIR NOW I DON’T KNOW WHAT THIS MONSTER DID BUT I FEEL HE REGRETS IT” - UNKNOWN

Stats: 112% speed other than that normal.

WEAPON: COMBAT KNIFE

ABILITY, THOMAS SHADOW: YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO THROW YOUR COMBAT KNIFE IN A SIMILAR WAY TO HUNTRESS HATCHETS BUT WITH A 10% LONGER DISTANCE AND UPON CONTACT WITH A SURVIVOR YOU HAVE 2 SECONDS TO EITHER CALL IT BACK OR WARP TO THE SURVIVOR. MISSING THE SHOT WILL HAVE THE KNIFE COME BACK TO YOU WITH A 2% SPEED DEBUFF. THROWING THE KNIFE REMOVES YOUR ABILITY TO ATTACK UNTIL YOU EITHER TAKE ACTION OR WAIT FOR IT RETURN. CALLING T BACK WILL CAUSE YOU TO SLOW DOWN AND DO YOUR CLEANING ANIMATION AS IT WAS A NORMAL HIT.

ADD-ON’S

COMMON: ROTTED WOOD: YOU REMEMBER THIS EVEN IF ITS HAZY, YOU HAVE 3 SECONDS INSTEAD OF 2 TO CALL BACK OR TELEPORT TO YOUR KNIFE.

UNCOMMON: BURNED WOOD: YOU CAN’T ESCAPE THIS NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY, YOU HAVE 4 SECOND INSTEAD OF 2 TO CALL BACK OR TELEPORT TO YOUR KNIFE,

RARE: OAK WOOD: YOU USED THIS TO START EVERYTHING, YOU HAVE 5 SECONDS INSTEAD OF 2 TO CALL BACK OR TELEPORT TO YOUR KNIFE.

Very rare: Bloody hoodie: You miss him so much, warping to survivors slows them down by 5%.

ULTRA RARE: ASHES OF MEMORY: YOU HOLD THIS EVEN THOUGH IT HURTS, CALLING A KNIFE BACK GIVES YOU A 5% SPEED BOOST.

KILLER PERKS

PERK 1, UNSEEN POTENTIAL: THE ENTITY SAW POTENTIAL WITH YOU AND YOU’LL USE IT, HITTING A SURVIVOR CAUSES YOU TO GAIN A TOKEN AFTER 4 TOKENS ARE GAINED YOUR NEXT HIT WILL CAUSE ALL SURVIVORS TO SUFFER FROM THE EXPOSED STATUS EFFECT FOR 7/10/12 SECONDS – YOU HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO BE HERE WITH US” – HENRY

PERK 2, ARSONIST: THEY’LL BURN FOR YOU, AFTER BEING STUNNED BY A PALLET YOUR SPEED ACTION AND MOVEMENT SPEED WILL BE INCREASED BY 2/3/4% FOR 7/9/10 SECONDS. – “YOU LISTEN TO ME I AM THE KING HERE NOT YOU!” – THOMAS FATHER

PERK 3, ADRENALIN RUSH: YOU HAVE THE ENERGY TO GET THIS DONE, BREAKING A GENERATOR OR PALLET CAUSES YOU TO GAIN TOKEN WITH A MAX OF 3 TOKENS AND THE NEXT TIME YOU PERFORM A DESTRUCTIVE ACTION YOU GAIN A 1/2/3% SPEED BOOST FOR 4 SECONDS. THE SPEED BOOST WILL CONSUME ONE TOKEN PER SPEED BOOST AND CAN''T BE ACTIVATED 5 SECONDS AFTER A PREVIOUS SPEED BOOST END.– “LISTEN KID I NEED YOU CALM DOWN AND TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED” – UNKNOWN OFFICER

SURVIVOR: DIANNA GAGE IS A SURVIVOR BASED AROUND STAYING LOW AND KEEPING HER ALLIES IN A GOOD STATE.

SURVIVOR BIO: DIANNA GAGE WAS A NORMAL KID IN A NORMAL SMALL TOWN UNTIL HER AND HER FRIEND HENRY FOUND A KID NAMED THOMAS WHO CAME FROM A RECLUSIVE AND ABUSIVE HOUSE HOLD AND THIS CAUSED HIM TO HAVE TERRIBLE SOCIAL SKILLS BUT THEY STILL WELCOMED HIM AND HE QUICKLY BECAME A PERMANENT MEMBER OF THEIR GROUP BUT THAT CHANGED WHEN THEY FOR THE FIRST TIME SAW THE BRUISES AND CUTS FROM HIS DAD THEY WENT TO THE POLICE STATION AND TOLD THE AUTHORITIES AND THEY REPORTED NOTHING BACK. A FEW DAYS AFTER THAT THEY FOUND THEMSELVES FOLLOWING THOMAS’S VOICE INTO A BACK ALLY AND THEY SAW HIM COVERED IN BLOOD AN ASH AND HE TOLD THEM A WHAT HE DID AND HE SEEMED TERRIFIED SO THEY SCHEDULED A MEETING THE NEXT DAY WITH THE POLICE. THE NEXT FEW DAYS WERE A HAZE OFF TEARS, VISITS AND PAPER WORK UNTIL ONE DAY THOMAS LUNGED AT HENRY DURING A VISIT AND IN A STRUGGLE HENRY DIED THIS WAS FOLLOWED BY THOMAS RUNNING OUT AND DIANNA FOLLOWING UNTIL SHE FOUND HERSELF WONDERING THROUGH A THICK FOG AND EVENTUALLY ENDED IN WHAT SEEMED LIKE A NIGHTMARE.

“I’VE SEEN HER VERY FEW TIMES BUT WHEN I HAVE I’VE SEEN HER RUSH ACROSS DANGEROUS SPACES TO HELP OTHERS AND YET SHE SEEMED TO REMAIN UNDECTCED SHE WAS A STRANGE ONE IN DEED” – UNKNOWN

SURVIVOR PERKS

PERK 1, BLENDING IN: YOU BLEND IN WITH OTHER PEOPLE AND THEY TEND TO STAY LOW WITH YOU, WHEN RUNNING IN 5 METERS OF ANOTHER SURVIVOR WHILE IN A KILLER’S TERROR RADIUS YOU AND YOUR TEAM MATES SCRATCH MARKS HAVE 1/2/3 SECOND DELAY BEFORE APPEARING. - “STAYING LOW IS MY SPECIALTY AND IT SHOULD BE YOURS TO THOMAS.”- DIANA GAGE

PERK 2, EMERGENCY CARE: YOU KNOW YOUR WAY AROUND SOME WOUNDS, EVERY COMPLETED HEALING ACTION WILL GIVE YOU A SKILL CHECK WITH MAXIMUM OF 3 AND COMPLETING A HEALING SKILL CHECK WILL INCREASE THE SPEED OF THE HEALING ACTION THIS ONLY WORKS ONCE PER ACTION AND THE EFFECT IS SHARED WHEN WORKING IN CO-OP. YOU CAN NOT USE IT A MORE THAN ONE SESSION PER SURVIVOR IF THEIR IN THE SAME STATE YOU HEALED THEM IN THE PREVIOUS SESSION. IT DOSE WORK IF THE SURVIVOR WAS HEALED BUT THEN BROUGHT BACK DOWN INTO THAT DAMAGE STATE. – “HONEY I WANT SHOW YOU SOME MY WORK STUFF BUT ONLY THE STUFF YOU WANT TO KNOW.” DIANNA’S MOTHER.

PERK 3, PEACE AND QUIET: WHEN THINGS ARE QUIET THINGS ARE GOOD, WHEN NOT IN A KILLER’S TERROR RADIUS FOR MORE THAN 25/20/15 SECONDS YOU GAIN A TOKEN AND ONLY ONE AND WHEN YOU ENTER A CHASE YOU GAIN A 2/3/4% SPEED BOOST FOR 3/4/5 SECONDS. – “A QUIET PLACE IS A GOOD PLACE BECAUSE YOU CAN THINK” – HENRY

MAP: MILLER WOODS IS A FORESTED AREA WITH THE BURNED MILLER HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE.

(im really proud of this chapter so i hope you enjoy!)

CashelP14

I'm not sure how strong the ability is. How far would it go and how quick would you throw it? I'm asking because I'm trying to compare it to huntress with her hatchets.

Unseen Potential sounds cool but I can't be sure till you say how long the exposed effect will last for. Also you need to say what happens at tiers 1,2 and 3. Maybe it lasts 10/20/30 seconds.

Arsonist isn't strong by itself but could be very strong with Enduring and Spirit Fury. Pretty cool idea

Adrenaline Rush I don't personally like and I feel it's too similar to the Arsonist perk. Also putting them together for an 7% increase would be too strong in my opinion. Might need to rework this one.

Blending In is very interesting. You need to confirm how close a survivor needs to be for it to work. Think about would you want them to be the same range as Bond or less? Otherwise I think the idea would be alright.

Emergency care seems too similar to autodidact. By the time the 3 health states have been completed you would also have done a few skills checks wirh autodidact. The only difference is Emergency care doesn't start off slow and also will lose tokens after a skill check.

Peace and Quiet doesn't sound strong personally. You haven't said how long the time lasts for and that makes a big difference. Does it cause exhaustion?

Hope I was a help, tried to give the best feedback I could. When it comes to the perks you need to think "would I use this in my perk build". Also please add to all token perks when you lose the tokens, like the way you lose Save The Best For Last. Really cool idea with the teleporting weapon and I could see some good mind game moments but you might want to change the thing you throw for teleporting. It doesn't make much sense how you can teleport to a combat knife.

Huntedfailure

@CashelP14 said:
I'm not sure how strong the ability is. How far would it go and how quick would you throw it? I'm asking because I'm trying to compare it to huntress with her hatchets.

Unseen Potential sounds cool but I can't be sure till you say how long the exposed effect will last for. Also you need to say what happens at tiers 1,2 and 3. Maybe it lasts 10/20/30 seconds.

Arsonist isn't strong by itself but could be very strong with Enduring and Spirit Fury. Pretty cool idea

Adrenaline Rush I don't personally like and I feel it's too similar to the Arsonist perk. Also putting them together for an 7% increase would be too strong in my opinion. Might need to rework this one.

Blending In is very interesting. You need to confirm how close a survivor needs to be for it to work. Think about would you want them to be the same range as Bond or less? Otherwise I think the idea would be alright.

Emergency care seems too similar to autodidact. By the time the 3 health states have been completed you would also have done a few skills checks wirh autodidact. The only difference is Emergency care doesn't start off slow and also will lose tokens after a skill check.

Peace and Quiet doesn't sound strong personally. You haven't said how long the time lasts for and that makes a big difference. Does it cause exhaustion?

Hope I was a help, tried to give the best feedback I could. When it comes to the perks you need to think "would I use this in my perk build". Also please add to all token perks when you lose the tokens, like the way you lose Save The Best For Last. Really cool idea with the teleporting weapon and I could see some good mind game moments but you might want to change the thing you throw for teleporting. It doesn't make much sense how you can teleport to a combat knife.

Thanks for your feed back!i just updated it hopefully its better as i tried to take your criticism into effect and as for teleporting to the knife just say its the entity.