Bad Chapter Idea: Target Sighted

RareFantom47
RareFantom47 Member Posts: 71
edited June 12 in Creations

New Killer: The Marksman(4.2 m/s|16 Meter Terror Radius|60 Meter Lullaby Radius)

Killer Story:

Simon grew up without his father, and his mother had been committed to a psychiatric ward after attacking a CEO named Gregory Vincent. Due to this, he grew up in a nearby orphanage, but he was never allowed to see his mother. Simon usually spent his time either playing chess, he hardly lost and was invigorated whenever he did. To him, the loss was a moment to learn.

Soon, Simon had been enrolled in middle school, he made a few friends and yet kept to himself. One day while in class, another student had begun to shoot the other students, Simon among them. He was hospitalized and when he awoke, he was shocked. So many people had lost, and yet he was only among the few who would learn from the experience. About the shooter, Simon didn't hate him, in fact, Simon was inspired.

After he had graduated high school, Simon purchased his first firearm, a small handgun, with a short barrel and a hard grip. For the time being, it felt uncomfortable, but he would make it work. He began small, only shooting random citizens across big cities, the feeling wasn't what he wanted, it felt too easy, too simple. He needed something more complex.

Before he could make a new purchase, the psychiatrist tending to his mother asked him to go see her. Simon didn't want to stop his plans, they were just beginning, but something told him he should. He agrees and makes an appointment to go see her.

On the day of the appointment, Simon brings a small bag of rat poison, hoping to get rid of the biggest nuisance of his life. He asks to take his mother her dinner, hoping to poison her drink to keep it from being too suspicious. He brings in the dinner tray and sets it on his mother's lap with a fake grin on his face. But he wasn't ready to hear what she had to say to him.

She had told him that the CEO she attacked had manipulated her. He had used her, and once he was done with her, he threw her aside. She tries to convince Simon that she was sorry, that his father was a monster. But he left the room, more angered towards his mother than he could have imagined. She had lost and used it as an excuse for special treatment.

The best part is, the employees at the psychiatric ward believed that the rat poison was her doing. A way to end her life due to the misery, good riddance. It even gave him more time to plan, but he knew his next target. His mother had lost, but he will gladly earn his place.

For his next purchase, Simon didn't just buy a weapon on the wall, he needed something of his own making. Something of his design. He began to go around the country, buying weapon parts, sometimes even stealing them if necessary. And after months of work, he was finished, his own sniper rifle to his liking. The weapon is large, but not difficult to carry, the grip is smooth yet effective. And most importantly, this takes skill and timing, it isn't just some quick money scheme so many lowlifes are prone to using.

And then, it became the night of his ascent. Simon had learned of his father's personal cell phone, and the corresponding number to contact him. He had taken to sitting on the rooftop of an abandoned apartment building, a clear viewing into his father's office. No window, no protective glass, Simon had made sure he couldn't miss his target. Looking through the scope, he sees Gregory walking into his office, the top of the building made of glass, making sightlines a constant commodity.

The CEO had just taken a seat and opened his computer. Simon looks over to his left and presses the call button on the replacement phone he had bought a few days earlier for the occasion. The phone rings next to him, and he looks back through the scope. Gregory had reached into his pocket and looked down... then put it back, ending the ringing.

Simon tries again, knowing eventually that he will answer. But he didn't need to wait too long, Gregory had already picked out the phone begrudgingly and hit accept. Do you know who this is? I am a very busy man- I cut him off, ignoring what he's saying. I know who you are. But the question is, do you know who I am? Of course not, why the hell should I? Because unlike anyone else in this city, I have a crosshair over your eyes.

Gregory looks around, unsure whether to believe me or not. Is this some sort of prank? Do you remember a woman, her name was Janet Martinez. Yeah, I know her, she attacked me- I'm her son, and in turn, that makes me yours as well. Gregory looks around again, this time he stands up from his desk and begins to leave. Go back to the desk where I can see you. I want something that belongs to me.

He stops in his tracks, his body visibly shaking from the threat. Alright, I'll go back, just don't shoot me. The CEO returns to his desk, his face had begun to go white. Open your computer and look through the files. Simon watches as Gregory's hands slowly began to open up the computer. He types something in and then begins to click around. Okay, what now. Now, I need to make it look like a hit. Simon pulls the trigger and watches as his father gains an undead expression. Victory.

Killer Perks:

Hex: Against The Odds: Push against the odds, luck is never an excuse to lose.

  • This perk starts with 0 tokens up to a maximum of 6 tokens. Being stunned in any manner grants 1 token.
  • 1 - 3 tokens: survivor vault speeds are decreased by 2% | 3% | 4% for each token(This effect still applies for more tokens, 3 = 12% and 4 = 16%)
  • 4 - 5 tokens: Survivors suffer from a 4% hindered status effect for each token(This will be from this point on. Ex: 3 = 0%, while 4 = 4%)
  • 6 tokens: Survivors can now only perform slow vaults

Learning Opportunity: It's idiocy to simply give up, find your mistake, and learn from it.

  • This perk starts out with 0 tokens up to a maximum of 20 tokens. Each time you lose a survivor, this perk gains 1 token.
  • For each token, any time the entity blocks a location, it is blocked for 0.5 | 0.75 | 1 second longer for each token gained.

Victor: Look down upon them, they will understand your glory.

  • Each time you place a survivor onto the hook, you gain a token up to a maximum of 5 tokens. For each token, you break pallets/breakable walls and damage generators 6% | 7% | 8% faster. Being stunned by any means loses all tokens.

Killer Power: Personal Rifle

Press and hold the secondary ability button to take out the Personal Rifle. (Doing so will slow you down to 3 m/s for 3 seconds or so) Press the secondary ability button while the Personal Rifle is out to crouch(Slowing you down by 10%). Press and hold the active ability button to put away the Personal Rifle.

While the rifle is ready, press and hold the primary ability button to aim down the scope of the rifle. (You will be stuck in this position until you let go of the button) Pressing the attack button will fire the rifle. (No range limit) Survivors hit by the rifle will immediately be put into the dying state and the killer will have to reload the rifle before firing again(12-second reload[No idea what the entire animation would be, I just know I don't want it to be really quick], no slowdown). (When the rifle is aimed within 2 meters of any survivor, they will see a laser)

Killer Add-ons:

Common

Broken Scope: The scope had broken due to Simon's hastefulness to leave his position after taking out a target.

  • The scope of the rifle will be removed. 400% bonus blood points in the deviousness category.

Company Inheritance: The estates Gregory Vincent once owned, now belong to his only son, Simon Martinez.

  • Increases movement speed while taking the Personal Rifle out by 20%

Counterfeit: Even with all of the money he could ask for, Simon still used these bills to pay for small purchases.

  • Survivors hit by the Rifle are afflicted with the blindness status effect for 25 seconds

Arm's Dealer's Permit: A permit Simon stole off of an arm's dealer who wasn't willing to comply.

  • Shooting downed pallets and breakable walls break them instantly.
Uncommon

Bloodied Knife: A knife stained with Simon's blood, he offered respect to his opponent and left them alive.

  • Survivors who recover from the dying state after being hit by the Rifle will be exhausted for 45 seconds

Stocks Graph: A graph of the company's stock shown during a meeting with Simon. The graph shows an increase in productivity and work effort from the employees.

  • Hitting a survivor with the Rifle will reveal the auras of all survivors within 20 meters of the survivor

Newspaper Article: An article on the new CEO of HyperLink and how many of the lower-class citizens adored him.

  • Increases the switching speed of the Rifle by 35%

Employee List: A list of employees Simon had asked for, their wages were high, and yet their product was far below optimal.

  • Survivors hit by the Rifle from further than 32 meters have their auras hidden from all survivors for 30 seconds.

Estate Purchase: A document describing the purchase of an abandoned construction site for renovation.

  • When a survivor is hit by the Rifle, all vault locations within 32 meters become blocked for 30 seconds
Rare

Modified Bullet: This caliber has been tampered with, making it far more dangerous to those assaulted by it.

  • Survivors put into the dying state with the Personal Rifle will be afflicted with the broken status effect for 60 seconds.

News Statement: A statement made the FBI stating that they have found the infamous Marksman terrorizing the city. Their suspect was released after Simon continued taking out targets.

  • After hitting a survivor with the Rifle, all other survivors gain their own terror radius for 15 seconds,

Hand-made Explosive: A personally crafted bomb, a method Simon had thought of while taking out targets. The rush was intense getting it in place but ultimately wasn't his favored method.

  • Hitting a survivor who is not the obsession will cause the obsession to scream, revealing their location for 3 seconds. Hitting the obsession will cause all other survivors to scream, revealing their location for 5 seconds

Detective's Wallet: The wallet belonged to a private investigator Simon had shot at point-blank range. They had caught him by surprise, but they weren't enough on their own.

  • Survivors within your terror radius, while you are aiming with the Rifle, are afflicted with the hindered status effect(10%) for 10 seconds.

Magazine Cover: The last public image of some celebrity. Due to an unforeseen complication, they were informed of the assassination and put under witness protection. The only one who got away, they learned.

  • Hitting a survivor other than the obsession will cause them to be exposed for 40 seconds. Has a cooldown of 100 seconds.
Very Rare

Thermal Scope: A rare and useful utility, especially in buildings where sightlines are difficult to maintain.

  • Survivors' auras are revealed to you while aiming the Rifle.

Middle School Yearbook: A yearbook with the photo of the school shooter that had inspired Simon.

  • Increases movement speed while aiming to 0.2 m/s

Handgun: It was pathetic, yet, it was his beginning into a new age.

  • Survivors injured by a basic attack reveal the aura of the survivor who heals them to full health for 45 seconds.

Janet's Belongings: The property of Janet Martinez, much of it contained evidence of Gregory's relationship with her. They were given to Simon after her death.

  • Shots that miss survivors within 3 meters cause them to scream intermittently(every 15 seconds) for 60 seconds
Iridescent

King Piece: A wooden chess piece Simon used to carry with him, a reminder of strength and superiority.

  • Increases maximum movement speed to 4.6 m/s
  • Survivors hit by the Rifle are afflicted with the broken status effect for 80 seconds.

Broken Phone: A phony cellular device used to contact Simon's father from afar. A key asset used in the biggest opportunity in his lifetime.

  • When shooting the Rifle, all survivors within the lullaby range become afflicted with the incapacitated status effect for 10 seconds. Has a cooldown of 80 seconds.

Killer Attire:

Weapon: Personalized Rifle - A large rifle that has been made from various parts of other firearms.

Head: The Marksman - The face of a beloved CEO who was raised in poor circumstances, and adored by the public.

Body: Stealth Suit - A suit covering the legs and torso, all of it either black or grey to blend in with the night.

Killer Blighted Form:

Weapon: Seething Calibers - The weapon had been improved by the Blight, to inflict more misery and suffering upon its victims.

Head: Tunnel Vision - The head of Simon, the cheeks and neck bloated with an eye hanging out from the left socket.

Body: Enhanced Methods - A more controlled reaction from the Blight, the bones and muscles were strengthened and became cancerous, breaking out through the skin.


New Survivor: Hank Johnson

Hank understood his life wasn't going anywhere from where he was, and he kind of enjoyed it. The days of tutorials on survival and camping rarely paid off, but he loved it when it happened. The camping trips he and his family were supposed to go on were getting further and further as time went by. He thought of talking with his coworkers but threw it aside. He works better alone.

Hank, are you there? His boss says. She's fairly friendly, but very work-oriented, something he admired in her. Congratulations, the CEO wants to meet with you. Hank froze, the CEO? Simon Vincent himself? His boss leaves the paper on his desk and leaves. At first, Hank was thrilled, but a moment later he was terrified. What if he was an example of a bad work ethic? He never outpaced his coworkers. Why does Mr. Vincent want him?

Hank grabs the paper and reads through it. Blah blah blah, workers, more blah, prize money, blaby blah, construction site? This is really strange. But prize money? Hank couldn't really reject it, maybe he could impress Mr. Vincent, then he could move up in his life! That thought alone convinced him to go.

The construction site was far off outside the city, and inside there are safes of some sort and many other stronger things. Could he be a part of a new reality TV show? Unlikely, looking at the others, they were just like him, wearing casual clothes to a CEO meeting of some sort. Bah, he should've at least worn a collared shirt, perhaps he could best them by looks alone?

Welcome gentlemen. Mr. Vincent walks up behind Hank and the small group. I must say, I apologize for this, but I can't let you keep going about your lives like you're some sheep in a wolf's den. Sheep? What does he mean by sheep? One of the people in the group takes high offense to the remark and walks up to him shouting. Mr. Vincent punches her and stomps her skull into the dirt.

Now, what have you learned? Mr. Vincent looks at us expectingly. You have learned self-control. Now you will go into that site and whoever gets out, learns self-preservation. And if you don't, let's be honest, you should've died in this world before you got to where you are now. You have ten seconds to run. Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six.

Hank doesn't take any more chances, this is the moment he's been preparing for. He jumps down into the construction site and runs towards a safe. He tries opening it, but it's locked. He hears a scream of one of his fellow survivors, they must be dead already he tells himself. Hank hides behind a metal crate and takes a moment to breathe. He must remember to play it safe rather than quick, so far he knew there isn't a timer.

As Hank goes around, he finds the others and calms them down, telling them exactly what he told himself. Eventually, two of the remaining six die, and the other four find the keys to a locked sewer tunnel and run. The next area was full of long rooms and sewage. But thankfully, the survivors found that Mr. Vincent had not followed them, and they panicked when they realized Hank was gone too.

Survivor Perks:

Lone Wolf: Some people work better in teams. Me? I'm not that type of guy.

  • When you stun the Killer by any means, you become the obsession.
  • While you are the obsession, all debuffs go away 10% faster, and working on generators alone gives a 10% repair speed increase.
  • Working on a generator with another survivor increases the debuff speed by 20% | 15% | 10%.

Stay Calm: Take a moment and breathe, and do not panic.

  • Staying in the same position for 11 | 9 | 7 seconds, you become completely silent, and having your aura revealed to the killer gives a sound notification.

Stay Informed: I don't have a lot of experience, but taking control from someone really throws them off.

  • You start the trial with 0 up to a maximum of 1 | 2 | 3 tokens. Healing or being healed by a survivor grants one token for each survivor.
  • While you are in chase, your aura is revealed to all survivors you have gained a token from.

Survivor Attire:

Head: Hank Johnson - The face of a low-effort employee looking to get by and go camping.

Torso: Windbreaker Jacket - The night of the meeting was cold, so Hank brought a windbreaker to keep him warm.

Legs: Worn Jeans - Hank's favorite pair of jeans that he wears almost everywhere.

New Maps: HyperLink Property

Map 1: This will be a construction site, filled with metal containers that shipyards use and small pieces of actual construction. This will be two floors, one half of the map covered by a ceiling that players can run on and drop down from. This map is very open with the typical tiles. The ground should be a mix of sand and grass in order to look overgrown and abandoned. It should be nighttime.

Basement locations will include a connection to a stairway leading up to the second floor and a spot in a corner, not under the second floor. This map should spawn 8 - 11 pallets on the map with a total area of 7500 m^2. The walls of the trial will be made of concrete and the exit gate will be forced into the wall. The escape area should have the concrete tearing itself apart.

This map is to be a part of the Withered Isle realm.

Post edited by RareFantom47 on

Comments

  • YukariTheAlpaca
    YukariTheAlpaca Member Posts: 175

    This is one of the worst chapter ideas I have seen in a while. I am sorry. Everything about this is just... wrong.

  • RareFantom47
    RareFantom47 Member Posts: 71

    Understandable, but can you explain the specific pieces? I plan on doing more and don't want to repeat any mistakes.

  • Critical_Fish
    Critical_Fish Member Posts: 605

    The power is simple and self-explanatory, which is a good trait for a power with only one part. However, the idea of a Killer with a fully functional rifle, who knows how to use it, is a poor one I think. Instant downs from any range isn't fun, ask the devs why they nerfed Huntress' Iridescent Head and why people still rightfully complain about it. Snipers in games aren't generally fun for anyone but the sniper themselves, either, and this is especially true when you can't shoot back at all.

    This is a Killer who auto-wins on a map with a hill, forces Survivors to play a completely different game when all the Killer has to do is point and click with a genuine hitscan weapon.

    The Deathslinger is teetering the line of being like this Killer and being absurdly unfun, but the devs were smart in capping range at around 16 meters and making it so, while the harpoon is ridiculously fast, it isn't hitscan. It's a projectile, it has a movement speed, and you can exploit that as a Survivor. This Killer has no such exploit, no such counterplay. It's just point and click.


    Perks are a little better than the power, though.

    Hex: Against the Odds has something workable but is hard to make work outside of gimmicks, and is both too hard to get online (as in, get to enough Tokens to get value before the Hex is popped) and too annoying once it is online. I'd keep the idea of a Hex gaining Tokens when things aren't looking great for you as the Killer, maybe each time a Survivor is healed or unhooked, and go with a different effect from there.

    Learning Opportunity is practically useless, but the fundamental idea, much like Against the Odds, isn't horrible. The idea of learning from past mistakes with a perk is cool, but this weak of an ability isn't how you capitalize on that good idea. I'd say maybe going about gaining Tokens when losing a chase is good, but when you start a chase you can see the aura of the Survivor for x time, x being the number of Tokens you have. Good for hit and run killers and such. You could add a cooldown of 40/30/20 seconds to it and it'd work great.

    Victor is scuffed Brutal Strength and scuffed Fire Up. Again, the idea of gaining Tokens and losing them when you're humiliated is cool, but the effect itself isn't it.


    Survivor perks now.

    Lone Wolf is a concept I just think shouldn't be made to work. It discourages cooperation, which encourages a lack of altruism, which isn't fun or fair to your teammates or yourself. But then it also gives a 10% increase to repair speeds, which is... no. Gen speeds are fast enough. Imagine a blanket 10% increase to repair speeds on top of the toolbox masturbation that Scavenger or Built to Last can enable.

    Stay Calm is a worse version of Distortion. It helps scout for Killer perks but is useless outside of that. I think the being cool under pressure idea the name gives off can be worked with much better than an even worse version of a Killer's Insidious, one of the worst perks in the entire game.

    Stay Informed is cool, I like it.

  • RareFantom47
    RareFantom47 Member Posts: 71

    You are incredible at picking things apart, and I'm grateful for you to review two of my works. Allow me to say thank you for doing this. It's really clean and very professional, and I can't thank you enough for doing this for the community.

    First thing, I am going to rename this a ''Bad" chapter idea. As you have mentioned, the power is a complete rip-off of Iri Head Huntress, and I'm not sure why I didn't recognize this myself. I've also received numerous questions about the Killer and Survivor perks within the community I'm sharing these Custom Chapters with.

    Again, thank you for reviewing this and making very accurate, fleshed-out points about the power and the perks. I will, however, keep in mind the positives within your review and implement them into another Custom Chapter, hopefully implementing them into a more healthy and fun playstyle for both sides.