Creations
Creations
Just came back with my newest Idea, an Egypt Inspired Chapter created my yours truly last night
Chapter Name: Sands of Dread
Killer: The Jackal
Survivor: Audrey Magna
Map: Great Pyramid of A'Sirr
Killer Description: The Jackal, once a prideful and powerful Pharaoh has now returned as a servant of Anubis, this undead killer dawns a Jackal Headdress, hiding their rotting face, their body is wrapped in bandages like those of a mummy, they dawn a long regal gown fit for a king, with bright golden accents, and royal Blue trimmings, they wield a beautifully crafted yet deadly Was-Scepter as their weapon, their power, Entombment allows this killer to stop generator progress and slow down survivors who dare go near its territory
Killer Power: Entombment.
Killer Power Description: while looking at any generator within a 32-meter radius (Your Terror Radius Size) choose one of the generators (Highlighted in Yellow) to become Entombed, that generator becomes wrapped in bandages and begins regressing at 10% of the normal Regression speed, this effect lasts for 120 seconds (2 minutes) or until another generator is Entombed, if a survivor interacts with an Entombed generator for at least 30 seconds they gain a 5% Hindered status effect for 60 seconds, and become Mummified.
Special Status Effect: Mummified, any survivor with this status effect has their aura revealed to the Jackal for 10 seconds when they gain it, before being forced to continuously scream every 30 seconds, revealing their location to the sharp hearing Jackal
Special Item: Sarcophagus, Sarcophagi begin spawning around the map when in a match with a Jackal, only a total of 4 can be active at once, if a survivor interacts with a Sarcophagus, they begin a special interaction where they enter the sarcophagus for 10 seconds to remove their Mummified status effect.
Survivor: Audrey Magna
Survivor Description: Audrey Magna is a renowned archeologist all around the world, originating from the city of Cairo, Audrey always had a love for her country's ancient history, from time spent digging through the sand as a child, all the way up to visiting dig sites to view artifacts as an adult, Audrey's love for history has never wavered even the her direst moments, not even when in the Realm.
Killer Perks:
Name: Sett's Blessing
Description: You've returned from the dead and learned something new from the spirits
Effect: Every time a generator is repaired all survivors in the trial gain the Hindered status effect for 10/20/30 seconds
Flavor Text: "He Who Walks among the dead, fears not the future" -Ancient Manuscript
Name: Desert Grave
Description: In the Sandy desert most go without a burial, and rot below the sands
Effect: once per trial after every survivor has been hooked you gain a 5%/10%/15% Haste Boost for the next 60 seconds, and every injured survivor gains the Oblivious status effect for the next 20/40/60 seconds
Flavor Text: "Those who die below the scorching sun, are rejected by the Gods" -Book of Death Volume 5
Name: Follower of Anubis
Description: Those who follow the God of Judgement, Anubis, shall give Judgement to others
Effect: every time a survivor is sacrificed this perk activates for the next 30 seconds, whenever you use your power, every survivor becomes Exposed for the next 10/20/30 seconds
Flavor Text: "O Mighty Judge of the Dead, accept this sacrifice of a Heretic" -Cult of Anubis Volume 2
Survivor Perks:
Name: Ancient Eyes
Description: You have an Eye for ancient details hidden in plain sight
Effect: Whenever a generator is done you along with your teammates gain a 5%/10%/15% Haste effect for the next 20 seconds
Flavor Text: "I've Seen this before, many things go unnoticed by others, but not me" -Audrey Magna
Name: Blessing of Sekhmet
Description: You've gained the favor of an ancient being from your hometown through toil
Effect: Whenever you safely unhook someone gain a 50%/60%/70% healing speed boost for the next 60 seconds
Flavor Text: "Alright, hold still, they taught me this back home" -Audrey Magna
Name: History's Friend
Description: You've always enjoyed learning about the past, and you use that knowledge to your advantage in perilous situations
Effect: Whenever you or a teammate are hooked by the killer, the entire team gets to see the Killer's Aura for the next 5/10/15 seconds
Flavor Text: "Okay, we've got this, just like on the Dig Sites" -Audrey Magna
New Map: Great Pyramid of A'Sirr
Map Description: Once the home of a powerful pharaoh now the tomb that holds his remains, this grand pyramid has been turned into a trap filled death course for any willing enough to attempt to rob this sacred gravesite
Comments
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Hmmm… While the concept is extremely cool, the killer's power is underwhelming. It really doesn't do much to slow down a gen if you are forced to be an M1 killer after that. But the opposite is also true in a 3-gen situation. Combined with the right perks, it could be atrocious to face this killer.
But we definitely could use an Egypt-themed killer. You could work a bit more on improving the concept and correcting some mistakes (like stating the power lasts for 120 seconds only to say that it is a minute and a half, which are actually 90 seconds).
Killer perks are cool (they would need to be tweaked in numbers imo) except for Follower of Anubis which I think needs a little more thought. Surivor perks are a little more 'meh' to me, but overall good work!
I would love to see more of it if you decide to give it a little more thought.2 -
Of course, i posted it here for people to give their input too, also i was hoping his power would be a fix for the Gen Rushing problem most killers have, but maybe if i changed it so the power only lasts 60 seconds but can block up to 3 generators at a time? I am happy to accept inputs from anybody here, that's why i post here in the first place, to try and work together towards Something the community can enjoy together
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as for Follower of Anubis, i was thinking of a smaller version of NOED, to try and encourage more violent playstyles by giving you a reward for sacrificing survivors, since for me at least, chases are the best part of playing killer, so i was trying to make the Jackal not be a repeat of 3-Gen Merchant or 3 Gen Hag heh :3
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I'm also a Killer Main so idk how i got Mediocre Killer perks, but Good yet Niche Survivor Perks heh, i guess me playing the opposite side gives me the knowledge to know what helps the opposing side and what doesn't :p
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Overall it's good, I would have given more details but I was (still am) in a bit of a hurry. I will be going over all of it again for the next couple hours (I have things to attend to inbetween so it might take time for me to edit this post fully).
Edited: Ok, so… The Power.
·While thematically it looks good and certainly is a good anti-genrush tool, I don't think it would work quite well as a power, since it's very passive and there would be no much skill involved. It also seems a bit underwhelming somehow.
·Since it only works on gens in your terror radius, people would learn to always go outside the TR, and it would be kind of predictable, turning most likely into a boring gen regression game. In this sense, it would be more interesting imo if you could just use it on whichever gen, giving more mind-game-ability to the power (as in, blocking a faraway gen in hopes of luring survivors closer to you)
·The whole 'regressing but not blocked gens' doesn't convince me. If a gen is not blocked, it can be repaired, ignoring the power, and the 30 seconds timer until a survivor suffers from any of the effects is way too much. Not taking into account that maybe the gen will only be affected for 20 seconds if the killer decides to change the affected gen. Even if the survivors were affected (which could be prevented by just disengaging with the generator 29 seconds into the effect and then have another survivor go to the gen so it won't regress) the afflictions itself are either way too little or extremely annoying (imagine a Stegull crying for 30 seconds non stop).
·If we changed the regression only to block and regress: a gen for 120 seconds seems a lot to me, but if you can spam the power and keep alternating between let's say 2 gens and activate it 10 seconds each it's also quite powerful (preventing gen completion, not in chase). However, if let's say, we reduced the active effect to 30 seconds but also prevent the power from being spammed, then it seems way too little, since A) doesn't help in chase, B) only afects one gen and C) the gen would regress little and the duration of the blocking, while powerful on itself, would be a bit wasted given there are more gens (unless 3 gen situation, which would be way too powerful). This doesn't even take into account the possible sinergy with other gen blocking perks. Could be a nightmare.
·The fact that survivors need to spend 10 seconds in a sarcophagus while having given up their location to the killer is suicidal if the killer can just grab them from the sacrophagus, or renders the effect useless if the killer cannot interact with them.
What would I propose in exchange? Some random ideas.
·Have the power be a bit similar to the Plague. Have the Jackal place a curse on a gen (or several gens) that makes anyone who interacts with it suffer from the 'Curse' status effect. Then you can have either A) a secondary power in which you can send, say, a bunch of homing flying insects from across the map in search of the survivor, hurting them after a while (think of a mix of both the Knight's guards and the Artist's crows) or B) have a timer on them (similar to, again, Plague's vomit) and make them suffer from additional ailments when full (be creative and make them hindered and noisy while uncleansed or just go with the injure basics).
·Have it so that affected gens explode, insects crawling out of them. Then the insects come to you and give you their scent. Have them (kind of like Onryo's condemn) or you (kind of like Oni's Blood Fury) get charges so that when the charges are full you can unleash a more powerful, devastating attack.
·Definitely, if you want its power to be focused on gens, you need to give the killer a secondary ability than can hurt survivors or help them in chase. My examples were a bit poor and at least to me, facing The Onryo or the Plague is a bit of a pain, so maybe try another thing entirely.
·As for interactions, though the idea is cool, I think you would need to make it something more engaging while not making it necessary for the survivors something to do immediately after being affected. I don't know, maybe have them retrieve a treasure from a random location and deliver it to one of the sarcophagus (both taking the item and delivering it being done instantly) to lift the curse. Or have it just be Mummified, but I'd change the effects and the interaction with the sarcophagus.
That's as far as I go with the power. I know it's kind of poor, but tbh I can't think of anything better without investing more time on it, and that's something I am not inclined to do as of now (not lack of interest, but I don't have that much free time and I'd rather do other stuff). I know that it's late too, sorry, I was busy with chores and playing some DbD games in between. Maybe tomorrow I'll drop by and comment some more on the perks.Edit 2: Also, don't take my post as something pro at all. I'm sure there are people more knowledgeable about balance and such, so maybe they would say 'don't listen to this guy, he doesn't know what he's talking about'. I'm no stranger to the game (around 2500 h) but definitely not the best.
Post edited by Z0mbiv0r on0 -
On to Perks:
Sett's Blessing: Hindered is a relative status effect, the default value being (apparently) 3%. On itself it might not be much, but if you apply it to all survivors for 30 seconds, it may be too much. Consider reducing the timer to 12/15/18 or maybe apply a heavier debuff (15% maybe) to all survivors who finished repairs on the gen.
Desert Grave: Looks cool in concept, and I take it you wish to disincentivize tunneling, but it's a one time only perk and very situational (all survivors hooked once). You could argue that there other perks already existing which are situational too, like NOED and such, and you'd be right, but I never liked NOED and never use it. You could also argue that the compensation for getting to that one-time only use is good, and you'd be right too. It's way too much, I think, specially with how good it would sinergize with other haste perks and Sett's Blessing. It would be a perk that, if used by a good killer, would completely destroy balance. Maybe have it be something like 'gain one token for each survivor hooked' kind of perk. Something has a smaller effect but can be used more often.
Follower of Anubis: Not gonna lie, I don't really dig this one. Not only you need to sacrifice a survivor to get something out of it (which would encourage more tunnelling, despite Desert Grave), but the effect is so good that it would basically allow a decent killer to stomp survivors on the ground.
Overall, the perks the way you desinged them, while interesting, would be extremely OP in the hands of, say, a skilled Wesker. You need to think of them while being used by a somewhat good killer and with a different bunch of killers in mind. It has to be somewhat useful to all Killers while not being extremely OP on other killers.
Now, on to Survivor Perks.
Ancient Eyes: Good, but again too broad I think. I'd give the benefit only to the bearer of the perk and only when they are the ones who finish the gen. Then you can give the benefit to other survivors who helped them finish the gen. I'd do something like this: 'Whenever you finish repairing a gen, you and other survivors repairing the same gen, are granted 3/6/9% haste. The effect lingers for 10 seconds as long as your teammates stay within 10 feet of you.'Blessing of Sekhmet: I'd swear there's a perk similar to this one, but if not, it's not bad, but just another healing perk. Just keep in mind that an unhook is not considered safe until some seconds have passed without the unhooked taking damage, and then maybe 60 seconds is way too much, so you could maybe consider another effect entirely.
History's Friend: It's not that it's bad, but it would make Kindred kind of redundant once you upgraded it to Tier 3. Also, having it be active every time any survivor is hooked would be way too much.
So that's all from me so far. I really hope my criticism doesn't disencourage you, it's an interesting design and you did a good job. Also, it's my point of view and I might be wrong after all. I just wanted to share my opinion and help you improve it since I do like it.0 -
no offense taken, i (unlike many others) know what positive criticism is, and what Negative Criticism is, and yours is all positive, this was my first try at designing perks of my own, so i did inspire myself from other perks, example: Blessing of Sekhmet being like a way better version of Adam's Autodidact, since Autodidact is often seen as useless by most people because of it's negative effects in the start of the game, and like i said i don't mind a number change i was just going off of the knowledge of most perks having the starting number be multiplied by 2 times, 4 times, ect. for each tier, so the numbers might be too big and if i am honest, i post here so people can give their opinion on my creations, for example in my eyes i gave way too little detail about Audrey's Backstory, yet put a lot of focus into her name, since Audrey means Noble Strength, and Magna means Great in Latin, so her name is supposed to mean 'Great Noble Strength' she's meant to be a strong feminine type to go against the stereotype that women are meant to be soft and other whatnots, even if Yui Kimura already kind of fits that role heh, thanks for your opinion and i would love for us to continue chatting about what changes some of my other chapters should get. much love and have a great time in the fog <3
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i love your ideas, and yeah, you're definitely right, while making his power, my thought process was something like: 'Let's Mix Houndmaster's Search ability with a gen blocking side-effect' so the power is mostly meant to give information on Survivors whereabouts and what gen they might be repairing at the moment, also about the sarcophagi, i was thinking of them having a little mini-game like the Skull Merchant's Drones do and the killer is unable to stop this interaction, as for the M1 Killer dilema, yeah i will say i didn't think of that heh, i guess even Houndmaster does have her chase command ALONGSIDE her search command, so that was kind of dumb of me, maybe his damaging power could be a locust swarm where he can send out locusts towards nearby vault locations, and the locusts linger there for let's say 30 seconds? alongside with any survivor that comes into contact with them gets swarmed being slowed down (Kind of like Clowns bottles) but also if they are hit by a swarm again they lose a health state (kind of a mix of Artist's crows and Clowns bottles heh) also i have been a killer main for the past 3 years, so i might be a bit bias towards what other killers might find OP and what i think of as normal, because of my High MMR.
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Tbh I didn't read the lore because, as stated before, have other things to do and so I went down to business with the 'playable' stuff. It does sounds like you put a lot of effort into it and indeed Audrey Magna sounds cool. About your other concepts, I would love to check them if you tell me their names (so I don't have to go through pages and pages of 'Creation' tab threads), I do enjoy thinking about possible additions to the game, and in time, if you're interested, can both share our concepts.
I already like much more your updated concept on this killer's power. Having a cloud of locusts get to vault locations would fill double the purpose and I'm sure it would be an interesting gamble. So how would the gen effect end up being?0 -
I have studied the Egyptian pantheon while I'm no expert it would be much more fitting for The Jackel to be a servant of set or Apep, not Anubis, Anubis is the patron of lost souls therefore he would likely protect survivors.
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check out my newest post for a new chapter idea
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