A Bestiary of All the 🥔’s Out There
Feel free to add to this list as you see fit, and have fun!Â
The Tot: Level 19-20, total newb. This creature most commonly resembles a Dwight. Typically harmless to the killer’s time management, The Tot is more a liability to his team than a help. It is often found crouched at the edge of the map, staring at gates and willing them to open (despite the 3 gens remaining). Terrible at skill checks, you’d be smart to work on gens far from The Tot. He can be particularly dangerous when being chased, as he doesn’t realize that his Bond is an optional perk and not standard information for the whole team. As a result, he loves to run toward his teammates and scrape the killer off on them.Â
The Spud: Resembles David King. This breed of tater has a bit more experience than The Tot, but is perhaps an even bigger liability to the team. You see, The Spud just discovered No Mither and doesn’t quite realize what “broken” is. Spuds are rarely stealthy because they want to be chased. They can’t wait to bamboozle a killer by popping back up off the ground. They seem to have a hard time finding killers who use a slugging strategy though, but can’t figure out why. When The Spud starts the match, everyone knows in the first 3 seconds. Teammates cry, killers laugh. Tots often get roped into chasing a Spud, trying to heal him.Â
The French Fry: Ace Visconti. Long, lanky, and crispy. French Fries are self-absorbed. They are often spotted around chests, digging through rubble. They are decent at staying alive, but don’t contribute much to the team. The French Fry is the penultimate kleptomaniac and will commonly search through a chest right in front of his teammate who is dying on the hook.Â
The Hash Brown: Typically a Feng Min. Though unintentional, the Hash Brown seems to being driven toward flatness. That is to say, everything possible eventually becomes flat and patty-like. Pallets are thrown with reckless abandon, soon to be flat rubble on the ground. Teammates typically end up flat as well. The Hash Brown is terrible at healing others and will run away when they scream, leaving them partially healed. The new bright glowing hash of scratch marks will lead the killer straight to the injured survivor.
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The Russet: this dark, dusky, strange and mysterious being resembles a Claudette. It remains hidden for the majority of the match, leaving the safety of the shadows only to help those in dire need, before disappearing once more until the hatch spawns. Whilst on the hook, other survivors can see the aura of The Russet lurking, yet never moving, in the furthest reaches of the map. If you catch a glimpse of The Russet, be sure to eliminate it, or risk it never being seen again.
Post edited by screamdreamsx on1 -
Lol I love the description! And so true! But the name needs to me something potato-based. Maybe something like “The Russet”. Dark, dusky, blends in with its environment flawlessly.
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The Curly Fry. This is a killer who is in over his head. Every time a survivor jukes, he falls for it and spins complete, curly circles trying to regain a visual. Curly Fries vary in the tightness of their twist. The loose Curly is often found at McMillan and AutoHaven as he picks up the trail and continues the chase mid-spin. The tight Curly is a special product of the corn fields. This killer quite literally stops running at all and just spins in place, eventually giving up and heading to a tractor for a different view.
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Call me the night then, an advanced form of shadow who discovered the many uses of spine chill and empathy that most seem to have missed popping up and disappearing faster than a quick hunt wraith, gens mysteriously being left at 99%? Chances are you've encountered a night
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Lol oops I edited it. I’m a potato for not even realising *facepalm*
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r/feelsbadman
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The Sweet Potato: this potato can take on the shape of any survivor, and it’s sole purpose in life is to ensure every one else survives. The Sweet Potato will block hits for you, even go down for you, even when it would have been more wise to just.... not, because you had it covered. They’ll farm you off the hook the second the killer turns their back as they hate to see you in pain, and they’ll heal you wherever you stand, hidden or not, because they care that much about you. The Sweet Potato is unable to do anything when you’re in pain, and will stand by your generator to heal you once you are done instead of helping finish it.
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You take that back! It's the Megs who Spring Burst away from hooks and never let you heal them. Us Fengs have common sense..... and toolboxes for sabo'ing
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The Smashed Potato : This potato is most often decked out in paid cosmetics. It is a breed that rarely survives the winter, as its primary defense mechanism upon being injured is to promptly and permanently remove itself from danger by disconnecting, leaving other potatoes in the patch somewhat frustrated and almost certainly screwed.
The Bundle of Potatoes : This breed is joined at the root, and can have anywhere between two to four conjoined fruiting bodies. Potatoes of this sort are inextricably draw to each other, often forsaking objectives in order to perform acts of unfathomable altruism that generally do not work as planned, including the double-injured basement save which ends usually in a triple basement hook. Other behaviors include hilariously ill-fated attempts to bully killers or attempt saves of various sorts. They tend not to mix well with potatoes of other breeds....
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Lol that's so good! The ultimate candied yam!
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