I want to enjoy playing Killer, but...

(Before I start, note that this isn't a post to whine about Survivors--okay, maybe a little about some subtypes--because I play survivor mainly 4/5 of the time. This post is about why the ratio isn't more even.)

So, this has been building for a while, but every now and then, you just have one of THOSE nights. Levelled up the Clown today, thought he seemed fun to give a try. Brand new killer.

Game 1: Obvious SWF, spent most of it stunned and blinded while I was trying to figure out the mechanics and how to aim the bottles.

Game 2: No-interaction genrush squad, couldn't find anyone, didn't get to do anything.

Game 3: No-interaction genrush squad, chased the designated looper, two gens popped while I was in pallet hell, I just quit at that point.

Then I took the hint, gave up on learning this character for the time being, and went to play some survivor matches.

And this isn't the least bit atypical when I occasionally forget the accumulated trauma and frustration and think "hey, let's play Killer". My experience is maybe 50% matches like the ones above, 40% matches where I go in loaded for bear against a team of rookies and feel bad about myself afterwards, and 10% the matches where it feels like a genuine battle of wits where my decisions matter.

I like the mechanics of the Killers, I think they're mostly well done. Survivor experiences can be a bit samey, so I love how the game can change wildly in feel depending if I'm playing as Sadako, Wesker, Myers, Plague or Executioner. But to break down why I like playing as Killer in theory, but so often find matches an exercise in frustration:

1: With survivors, I'm free to try weird builds or focus on something eclectic ("how many benefits can I get from cleansing one totem?"), and that's what I like doing--nothing is more boring to me than finding a Best build and never wavering from it. With a Killer, my builds are very samey, because they HAVE to be. I need two intel perks, or I get a game where I never see anyone, just see gens pop off in the distance. I need a regression perk, or every time I kick a gen and walk off, it'll pop ten seconds later. That fourth slot usually goes to a chase perk, or maybe one of the dozens of other cool perks I'm not actually using.

2: I wouldn't say Survivor matchmaking is that much better. Clown car teammates, or a Killer who knows where everyone is at all times with no intel perks, that's pretty common. But thing is, if I have a rotten Survivor match, I'm usually out of it pretty fast, and into a new game. If I have a bad match as a Killer, I'm stranded there even when it's super obvious I can't win, and have to wait till the endgame timer is at 3 seconds--because heaven forbid we miss a chance to teabag or force the killer to push us out the door!

3: It's harder to practice with Killer mechanics. Bot matches FINALLY coming into play make this a bit easier, but it still doesn't reflect actual matches where you're often (even with a totally new killer) being pitted against people who know your character better than you do. Survivors are fairly similar mechanically, so testing out a new perk or build takes much less time there--you don't have to suffer through five matches of antifun before you know it well enough to pull it off consistently.

4: SWF's. We all know they're a problem. We all know the game is impossible to balance around them. But sweet criminy, that's no excuse for not even TRYING to do so. I don't know what the solution is, but I do know you can't balance the game around a team of four solos having 16 perks in one game, and a team on comms having 16 perks + 8-16 free intel perks in the next.

5: Non-SWF's. Whenever I get frustrated, go full sweat and tunnel, it turns out I just clubbed some baby seals and it's a pretty rotten feeling. Would be nice to have an indicator of how hard I need to go, even though I know it's not the least bit practical to do so.

6: Stealth genrush squads. At least with bully squads, you interact with them and can sometimes punish hubris. With these guys? Why are you even playing the game? Is this somehow FUN for you?

7: It legitimately, and with no exaggeration, feels like I cannot win against even a moderately skilled and coordinated team unless I go full unfun sweatbox (mass regression, 3gen from the start). If one super-looper takes me on a guided tour of Pallet City, that's a gen gone by the time I realise there's no point in chasing this guy and should keep looking for a weaker link. If they're all good at looping or hiding, then it simply seems impossible to do anything against them without the kind of tactics I hate seeing as a survivor and don't want to inflict on anyone else (camping, tunnelling) but which are undeniably effective. Of course, many killers have anti-loop powers, but mastering them is grinding and unfun because of point 3.

8: The exit teabagging dance. You're safe. Game's done. We all know it, but you're still going to stand right on the edge and teabag till the last moment. Why?

To summarise most of the above points, I find playing Killer stressful. That doesn't necessarily mean unfun, and it's a greater rush when I get a close game (doesn't have to be a 4K, a 2K or even 1K can feel equally awesome) where it feels like my choices mattered, and I know I wasn't carried by anyone else. But so often, it seems to boil over into the nasty kind of stressful, the sort where I just think "I may as well have not shown up", or when I'm stuck in a match where it's been proven I can't win against this particular team, and continuing is entirely pointless....but I still have to be there.

OK, thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Right now, this is mainly me venting, but I am open to advice on how to have a good time while still actually trying to win and not use cheap tactics that I know are noxious for the other team. If I'm not having fun, that doesn't mean I want to drag others down with me, I'd sooner just stop playing Killer.