Is this the right mentality to have?

There is no solution to this. I watched a YouTube video recently where someone analyzed why Dead by Daylight was considered a highly toxic community. They hopped on and played both killer and survivor, and at the end game chat, they were met with nothing but kind people. This cibfused them. Then they read online forums on reddit, posts on Twitter, and all things like that.

They deduced that things that are fun for survivor are deemed toxic by killers. Intense looping, consistent blinding, pallet stunning, gen rushing, etc. He deduced that some survivors may choose to get into chases, not to be toxic, but because as a survivor, you truly have zilch to do. You have to repair gens, save people, and heal people. That's really it. What else is there except chases to make the game more thrilling for survivors?

As a killer, you have one objective. Stop the survivors from escaping and kill them. To secure these kills, sometimes there will be camping/face camping. Although this is more common among new players, this is still an occurrence in higher mmrs. Tunneling, or chasing a survivor thats just been unhooked, is another way to secure these kills. Bringing Moris is another way to kill survivors, and it adds flare to it with a more stylish animation.

Realize how both sides have things that make the game more fun that are called toxic by the opposing side. I play both killer and survivor decently equally, so I see the frustrations from both sides. Honestly I feel the only way to have a solid opinion on the state of the game IS to play both sides. For example, there was this YouTube video on ways to change underutilized survivor perks to make them more viable, but at the end of the day, they would be way too op, but the creator doesn't realize that because they don't play killer. However, that topic is a whole different conversation.

My point is that it's important to have an open mentality when playing this game and realizing that what's toxic to you may just he the opposite sides style of gameplay.

As a survivor, I've never really been good at chases. I'm a Gen jocky, meaning I repair gens heavily. I'm also super altruistic. My go to build is for the people, lithe, we'll make it, and borrowed time. I have countless times sacrificed myself inorder to help someone else escape. Does tunneling frustrate me? Absolutely. But do I recognize it as a valid strategy? Yes. Is camping dumb? Yes. But is it game breaking? No.

As a killer, I actively try to avoid doing things that I find frustrating as a survivor. I don't camp at all. I hook a survivor and run away, unless the endgame collapse is happening, then I'll proxy camp and try to trade hooks or something. Tunneling is something I also actively avoid. However if I'm walking around and I see someone that was just unhooked because they ran at me, I'm putting them down. I played a game once where a Feng was unhooked and ran at my face. I hit her and downed her. She messaged me saying that I tunneled and it was like "get real. You literally ran at me and I'm not supposed to hit you?" Some unwritten rules truly have no logic. But if I'm approaching a hook as someone is getting unhooked, I chase the savior as opposed to the one who was saved. There's also challenges in dbd that may require Tunneling, such as killing the obsession by any means. Like I just want my challenge done 💁 I also find myself more apt to tunnel if a lot of Gen rushing is going on. There has been several games where three gens have popped almost simultaneously, especially on bigger maps. Sometimes you need to kill a survivor as fast as possible to stop the momentum survivors have. All "toxic" things survivors do also frustrate me. Last night, I got so tilted at this one claudette who was disrespecting my drones as skull merchant. She was letting herself get exposed, but she was so good at looping, I couldn't catch her. So props to her honestly. Ggs to me.

At the end of the day, what people on both sides need to realize is that as killer, the only way to pip consistently is get your hooks and kills. As survivor you can pip even if you die by doing gens, winning chases, and saving your teammates. You don't have to escape to double pip. (At least you didn't awhile ago. I took a decent hiatus from the game so thus may have changed since then.) If that remains true, killers win by killing. Survivors win by getting blood points.

If both sides were more open minded, this game would have a very chill community, but that's not how the world works. All we can do is be those people who see the big picture, and not say the other side is wrong when we have never been in their shoes.

This is it mostly. A lot of "toxicity" is usually people goofing around or players who haven't unlearned bad habits. Like camping and tunneling killers will almost always win against your average solo-que team. But put them against a group of experienced survivors or a swf that can coordinate around that then they fail miserably then call it unfair. Or calling saves toxic. A majority of the time a survivor gets a save is because you messed up and got too rushed. That alone has gotten me tunneled and insulted in end game chat, but those killers only had yellow perks. And like you said with that Feng too, they were mad because you didn't do what they expected.

So many of the "toxic" players are just less experienced and frustrated opponents. My Pyramid Head plays against survivors within the 30-100 prestige levels, and while that's not all encompassing of skill it is a sign of experience. But rarely are any of them ever hateful. Even in frustrating matches it still is good for both of you to say "hey you got me pretty good with that one thing". It clears the air of any spite and if the other guy decides to respond with any flame just tell em "good luck next match" and leave.

You can't fix it, but you can also choose to not participate within it. Overall it's better for your own enjoyment. Wasting your time in the end game chat fighting and getting worked up over this game gives you nothing.

Speaking for myself I take the view of "I'm not responsible for other peoples', but I am mindful of it." Meaning I won't go out of my way to ruin other folks' games if I can help it.

I try to pay attention to what people like/dislike going against and try to play accordingly. Example, rather than 3-gen w/ Skull Merchant I go with totem defense.

I think about what I hate running into on one side and don't do it when I play the other. I hate running into a tunneling Killer so I avoid it when I'm killer (though I'm not above slugging off hook or immediately slapping someone into Deep Wounds for the sake of pressure)

If I'm killer and a Survivor quits or DCs early, I'll get everyone to 2-hook if I can and otherwise farm/let them go. I'll do the same if more than one BPS or equivalent is in play. Let folks get their points.

Even if I play nice and still win, I'll get people being salty. I won't worry about them because nothing I could do besides let myself lose would please them, so screw 'em. But I've had plenty of nice post-game chats with people even after I've won.

"You're not responsible for other people's fun" is not the same as "my fun is the only one that matters".

People on both sides get upset at using valid tactics or stuff in-game against them. Which is fine, because it is a pvp game and sometimes you'll have bad games. It's a problem when there's an expectation that your opponent avoids doing X or using Y perks, because they need to cater to your fun.

No, you can be good at a game and turn your brain off to have fun. Strategy is a part of further enjoying a game, and that does not contradict my prior statement since it’s a video game you know? And I’d never take Dead By Daylight seriously in any shape or form for that reason, neither should you.

I don't mean complete beginners but more the ones who have a bit of experience but think they're better than they are.