lobbies utterly broken

so my friend was playing on my steam deck i was on pc and when we tried to get into a lobby with them ive only had issues since whenever i try join a lobby with friends i can only join through steam rather than the in game friends list because the list usually is wrong and will say they are in a match or in menus when they are just in a lobby waiting and then even when i do get into a lobby its a coin toss whether or not i will be put into the same lobby with them its a different issue every time sometime they just get thrown into a lobby without me sometime it will say im joining the game when nothing is happening usually theres a visual bug that says looking for a match when we are all readyd up but on my screen someone usually wont be ready when they are my friends doesnt have the issue he went home and every thing is fine for him ive never had these issues before ive verified game files ive repaired anti cheat i have no idea what the problem is its not a hardware issue ive tried multiple networks and the game has ran fine on my pc for years its only after my friend tried playing on my steam deck ive had the problem he wasnt even using my account for it

edit: ive also just noticed that steam overlay isnt working properly ifg i try bring up buides it just give me an error code: -105